Recent Locker Room Posts by taupe

May 17, 2004

EPL Fantasy League 2003-2004 Final. Congratulations to kWaCkY, whose Kwacky's Kwitters have won the league by a scant eight points over squealy's Ardley Athletic (despite the latter's final-week-winning 72). Remaining imaginary European places go to bluebears, Bayern Mucus, and winners-of-May-and-week-37 Mossy Athletic. Do we split leagues now? Keep one big league? That's for next season, the preoccupation of thirty-one of us who've played. This season, the one that belonged to Arsenal, belongs to the thirty-second, kWaCkY. (final tables and more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 04:20 PM - 107 comments

May 06, 2004

EPL Fantasy League Week 36 (May). At least no one has Europe to worry about anymore, at least for this year. kWaCkY, on the basis of the instinct that told him to choose Frank Lampard as captain despite Arsenal's two games, has five points on quealy and 25 on Andy Griffiths going into the final fortnight. Week-winners Bayern (67) lead the also-rans for the illusory last Champions League spot that we don't have. We may not have relegation, either, but we still have the refreshing fruit-flavored table row colors. I don't know what else to say. (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 08:28 PM - 11 comments

April 27, 2004

I should shape up and post the EPL Fantasy League Week 35 update already. squealy's Ardley Athletic, winners of April, have pulled ahead of Kwacky's Kwitters by four points with three weeks left. Other than that, not much movement in a week topped by mbd1's 59 (another late entrant, this time jasonspaceman, placed again with 58). No biggie when the Team of the Week has, like, Carl Cort on it. The finish line is in sight, with our three-team race (say hi to bluebears) yet to be decided, so...do whatever you do at this point, I guess. (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 02:13 PM - 22 comments

April 22, 2004

The moral of EPL Fantasy League Week 34 (April) should be obvious: You need Thierry Henry. You can't not have Thierry Henry on your squad and expect to contend for the title. Full stop. Henry's 21 was the basis of catfish's season-high-in-the-league (I think) 100 (and late entrant garfield's 96!), as well as the scores of four of the league's top five squads. With four weeks to go, first place sits on a knife's edge between kWaCkY and squealy, separated by a single point. (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 01:12 PM - 15 comments

April 14, 2004

EPL Fantasy League Weeks 32 and 33 (April): Thierry Henry may be able to say "It is inevitable" like Agent Smith, but our own title race is far from over, with Kwitters, Ardley and bluebears within ten points of each other. kWaCkY's dumping of Henry actually didn't hurt him too badly in the first segment of the Easter programme (bad would have been this, thank you kindly), but the momentum now is all with squealy, who remained 26 points better over the two gameweeks to pull into second position in both tables. Henry inflated scores across the board in week 32, contributing to whopping 91- and 89-point tallies for skronk and the Fooker respectively. Scrub sides led to scrub scores in the Monday-Tuesday action, except for mbd1, whose 48 took top honours. And I'm running on fumes like Brian Lara here generally, both in scoring and available time, hence the lateness of this update. (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 03:07 PM - 17 comments

April 05, 2004

EPL Fantasy League Week 31 (beginning of April): The FA Cup semifinals delay the customary huge point hauls from Charlton and Portsmouth players to other gameweeks, leaving many rosters full of many holes. Could kWaCkY's pursuers take advantage? Well, Alan Shearer finally busted another 16-point move to help the three closest pursuers -- including week-winners Bayern Mucus (with 75) -- close a bit of the gap, but Kwitters still lead bluebears with a game in hand for Matt Holland and some other guys. (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 09:26 PM - 31 comments

March 28, 2004

EPL Fantasy League Week 30: I think it's over now. Another week, another 72 points for Kwacky's Kwitters, who lead the table by 57 points over andy griffiths's bluebears and have just handily won March. A goal and a bonus for Henry plus Lampard plus everybody picking up not-really-injured Mikael Forssell meant high scores for quite a lot of people, most of all for 75-point week winner Fat Buddha. gspm also got 74. There's a five-week April and a three-week May left, with some fixture shuffling of note, so, uh...sign Mikael Forssell. (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 08:03 PM - 22 comments

March 22, 2004

EPL Fantasy League Week 29 (March) already. catfish got 61 and David "Saturn" Hansen got 60 to lead the month. Kwacky's Kwitters are 52 points clear. Nine weeks remain in the season. You do the math. (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 09:15 PM - 16 comments

March 17, 2004

EPL Fantasy League Week 28 (beginning March) may ultimately not have ended the title race as a competitive exercise, but nobody's going to catch Kwacky's Kwitters if they keep posting 70-point gameweeks. And Kwitters, now 32 points clear, didn't even win the week -- they were one of six squads to break 70, led by skronk (with 78), etrader (77), and Ufez (75), in one of (almost) everybody's higher-scoring weeks (to be expected when this many players break double digits). A great week to be Vile, and a sucky one to be Scum, as it always is for teams that plummet out of title contention on the backs of singularly humiliating performances in crunch time... (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 08:49 PM - 9 comments

March 10, 2004

Finally with the EPL Fantasy League Week 27 and the updating. Big congrats to the unknown David Hansen, whose Rings of Saturn have won February by a single point over Kwacky's Kwitters, who lead the big table by five points and whose 60 tied etrader's 60 for the best of the week. Mikael Forssell and guys named Taylor were the key, witht he extra game (as shows the Team of the Week, which contains Birmingham and Middlesborough players almost exclusively); another 11-fixture gameweek approaches, so adjust your rosters accordingly and bla bla bla. (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 08:09 PM - 30 comments

February 22, 2004

Was EPL Fantasy League Week 26 (February) our worst week ever collectively? Consider that 42 was enough for Bayern Mucus to take the week. In a period when everyone scored except Liverpool -- even Brad Friedel -- you'd think that at least attacking players' scores would be higher, but the law of averages apparently got its revenge on the distribution of those goals. Low scores mean not much movement in table, and that the February competition is ripe for just about anybody... (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 03:11 PM - 45 comments

February 19, 2004

Just wanted to post a reminder to the five of us joined up for the Champions League fantasy thing, and to anyone else interested, that the next matchdays are coming up next week.

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 01:10 PM - 6 comments

February 11, 2004

EPL Fantasy League Week 25 (February): Congratulations to kWaCkY and his Kwitters, who have knocked Bayern Mucus off the top of the table for the first time since Week 9. Kwitters naturally had 73 to win the week and go 7 points clear at the top, proving you will always shovel in buckets of points if you have Thierry Henry as your captain (getting four goal assists also helps). David Hansen's Rings of Saturn also breached the 70-point mark. Bayern, meanwhile, suffered an utter nightmare... (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 07:39 PM - 22 comments

February 08, 2004

Here's the update for EPL Fantasy League Week 24 (first of February), coming to you from the Department of Sheepish Looks. Yeah, clearly something went right, but something went right for a lot of us, with goals flying in from everywhere -- defenders, United's new strike partners, Kevin Kilbane, everywhere -- leading to a league median score in the mid-fifties, ten of us reaching 60, 70-plus from mossy and Bill, and, uh, me. A hearty welcome to garfield, who had a respectable 41. (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 02:52 PM - 23 comments

February 01, 2004

But the thread you're really waiting for is of course the EPL Fantasy League Week 23 thread, wherein we welcome jasonspaceman to the league, gspm's Crap City United and Andy Griffiths's bluebears each put up 60, squealy's Ardley Athletic win January comfortably, and the margin separating Bayern from Kwitters narrows to a single striker's goal... (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 07:21 PM - 22 comments

January 21, 2004

So long, EPL Fantasy League Week 22, and thanks for all the tampering (ahem). squealy's Ardley Athletic's 69 points win the week, extending squealy's January lead and adding pressure to the leaders in a tightening race in the overall table. If we're doing this Pantheon/N00b split at season's end, we'll have to watch the 20th-/21st-place safety line, where BillSaysThisScores! presently hang by a six-point thread above Nemo's Dreamers. (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 05:49 PM - 34 comments

January 11, 2004

EPL Fantasy League Week 21 (January): Watch out for kWaCkY and his Kwitters. The in-form team of our league won another gameweek with a 69-pointer on the backs of Arsenal's blowout of Boro and the 0-0 at Old Trafford, and closed within 14 points of the overall lead. Scoring competition-wide could be up to revision this week, due to a bit of a technical error on the League site's part... (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 05:58 PM - 10 comments

January 07, 2004

EPL Fantasy League Week 20 is already over with, and not a moment too soon -- David Hansen's Rings of Saturn (54, with two zeroes!) and squealy's Ardley Athletic (51) were the only sides among us to break 50 atop a generally depressed January table. Whatever went wrong this midweek, let's hope it doesn't carry over to the weekend. (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 08:14 PM - 10 comments

December 30, 2003

EPL Fantasy League Weeks 18 and 19 (December final): The mysterious David Hansen and his Rings of Saturn rang it up for 78 on Boxing Day, with an amazing four double-digit scorers; kWaCkY got 68 out of his Kwitters in the last round of the year to surge to second spot on both tables; but it was BigCalm holding on to win the month of December. Assign your own mid-term grades; I'm packing for a trip. (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 12:02 AM - 6 comments

December 22, 2003

EPL Fantasy League Week 17 (December). The weather wiped out two games. Damien Duff wrecked his shoulder. BigCalm got 58 to beat the rest of us. I'm tired. (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 08:33 PM - 22 comments

December 14, 2003

EPL Fantasy League Week 16 (December) was the week of Laurent Robert, which helped us not in the least. Still, we didn't do that badly; seven of us broke 60, my Bayern netted 74, and our month-leader sauril is #555 overall for the month of December. (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 02:26 PM - 25 comments

December 07, 2003

EPL Fantasy League Week 15: Scott Parker + Ruud van Nistelrooy as captain = 77 points for both sauril and BigCalm, putting each in the top thousand for December so far. lilnemo also breaks the week's top percentile with his 73, which will sure show him to skip those Yahoo updates. It's Horseface up and Henry unexpectedly down, Southampton suddenly scoring and Birmingham's defence hemmorhaging goals, and our league has a new #2... (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 05:28 PM - 21 comments

November 30, 2003

EPL Fantasy League Week 14 ends November with a new month winner: worldcup 2002's Charlton Emulators top a four-team dogpile in that table separated by six points, and lurk within a biscuit of third overall. And to think he was about to F off. In other news, it's clear by now that our collective score waxes and wanes with the performance of Thierry Henry -- not that Ufez is complaining, as he parlayed utter stud goalkeeper Edwin Van der Sar's stoning of same et al. (along with Lampard's penalty, Izzet's free kicks, and Shearer's being Shearer) to a week-winning 66 for his fascist bully boys. I failed to break 700, but there's a fresh, five-week month approaching... (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 03:40 PM - 18 comments

November 24, 2003

EPL Fantasy League Week 13 (November). This is more like it -- seven of us break 60, with gspm's Crap City United topping the week with 73 and squeaking ahead of wc2002 (of the 67-point performance, second on the week) to lead the November race by a single point. The chase is on in earnest, and now that we know the secret to scoring lots of points -- pick lots of players who play Leeds that week -- we should have half a dozen of us well into the 900s before the new year. (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 05:52 PM - 34 comments

November 10, 2003

EPL Fantasy League Week 12 (November). Our gameweek winner was etrader9 with 53, with no one else getting out of the forties...that was the kind of week we had. Oh, but you'd have ruled if you had thought to start Jonatan Johansen and Gary O'Neil. Whatever. Charlton are in fourth. I don't know. catfish, StarFucker and wc are all within a point of each other at the top of the November table. (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 06:40 PM - 33 comments