12/22/24
August 08, 2005
Who am I?: "I am the starting first baseman on a first-place team. I am super slow with limited defensive abilities. I have hit four home runs this season, none away from my home park."
Determining how much a slow first baseman with a so-so glove and a .288 slugging percentage hurts your team is a calculation that pushes the envelope of sabermetrics.
He called David Eckstein the "Cardinals' adorable little shortstop." Now that's just cold.
posted by dusted at 04:33 PM on August 08, 2005
Now that's just cold. But it's also really funny. (There's a college league team near where I live, the North Adams Steeplecats, that has a 5' 4" shortstop. The first time I saw him go to bat -- he bats leadoff -- I thought, "What is this, some feel-good 'let the bat boy take a swing' thing?")
posted by lil_brown_bat at 04:59 PM on August 08, 2005
Wait a sec: did the author get his gig solely on the basis of being the BSG's "buddy Hench"? And what do I win for knowing the answer to this post's question without looking? Besides agita, I mean. I am really pulling for Roberto Petagine. Not because I have the guy in a roto league. Not because I own the rights to his life story. Because I can't stand watching Warning Track Power. Fer Christ's sake Kevin: the Fenway clubhouse boys can get you 'roids.
posted by yerfatma at 05:38 PM on August 08, 2005
Fer Christ's sake Kevin: the Fenway clubhouse boys can get you 'roids. Just stop by Manny's locker , turn around (be careful not to look him in the eye) and knock 4 raps on the locker wall . The 'roids will be slipped in your back pocket , then walk away like nothing happened .
posted by evil empire at 06:03 PM on August 08, 2005
Nice try: it was someone like Jose Offerman who got a clubhouse kid arrested for driving his Bentley to the carwash with 'roids in the glove compartment.
posted by yerfatma at 06:16 PM on August 08, 2005
Jose Offerman on 'roids ? Blows the theory of hitting more hr's (57 career hr's in 16 seasons) by juicing up ..... or did he just sell on the side ?
posted by evil empire at 06:35 PM on August 08, 2005
And what do I win for knowing the answer to this post's question without looking? They had me at super slow and four homeruns.
posted by jerseygirl at 08:18 PM on August 08, 2005
Nice try: it was someone like Jose Offerman who got a clubhouse kid arrested for driving his Bentley to the carwash with 'roids in the glove compartment. Not Jose Offerman, but this guy. And it wasn't a Bentley, it was a BMW. I mean, the guy was a major leaguer, but not THAT good...
posted by grum@work at 08:20 PM on August 08, 2005
Manny Alexander, not Offerman. This was an excellent piece on the clubhouse boy and what's become of him since.
posted by jerseygirl at 08:23 PM on August 08, 2005
They had me at super slow and four homeruns. What do you think they should do with/about him jerseygirl?
posted by justgary at 08:53 PM on August 08, 2005
Thanks. I knew it wasn't Jose, but I figured I could get away with blaming him. Couldn't remember Manny's name. For the record, Offerman was pushing a Bentley when he was in Boston.
posted by yerfatma at 09:00 PM on August 08, 2005
steroids cause cancer and other stupidities. not homerun hitters
posted by dback2 at 11:20 PM on August 08, 2005
And to think that the Red Sox got rid of Dougy boy because he wouldn't share his ball!.......................................
posted by daddisamm at 01:48 AM on August 09, 2005
What do you think they should do with/about him jerseygirl? I get to play GM? With injuries to Nixon and Olerud, and Cruz being DFA'd last night you really don't have much of a choice but to give Millar playing time somewhere. I think I was expecting more of Petagine somehow. And since I have the GM role for a second... if Mark Bellhorn is put back in a starter role after his rehab stint (if he manages to not get DFA'd), I am going to slap a ho.
posted by jerseygirl at 08:10 AM on August 09, 2005
Petagine has like 3 hits and 4 RBI in the last two days. I was hoping he'd be Derrick Lee out of the box, but I'm trying to be patient. At least he's not one of Dan Duquette's Mexican League retreads like Morgan Burkhart. Though I loved watching that guy swing.
posted by yerfatma at 08:54 AM on August 09, 2005
He called David Eckstein the "Cardinals' adorable little shortstop." Now that's just cold. That adorable little shortstop hit a walkoff grand slam last week end
posted by jojomfd1 at 10:43 PM on August 09, 2005
So we should assume Eckstein is a power hitter from now on?
posted by yerfatma at 06:10 AM on August 10, 2005
It's funny how a guy can go from being so happy last year to so upset this year. He makes good money, he plays for the world champs and has the chance {all be a small one this year} to do it again. So his playtime has gone down this year. His job is the same as everybody elses, play the game when called upon! When will these guys learn that there are many who sit and wait to be called to play in all sports. He has to also realize that he is at best...Average. Does he want to contribute with the team he plays for or be the star? Sometimes flying under the radar has it's privileges. DLee is the perfect example. Triple crown is not something he can even think about now or ever and I say that as a Chicagoan. Albert Pujols is the only player on any roster that has a chance to ever do that in this generation of players. Millar needs to keep his mouth shut and join Schilling in the den of the fallen stars of last year.