11/05/24
December 01, 2003
Boris Becker has a new autobiography, Wait a second, stay a while, in which he sets the record straight about his life. One of the things he clarifies: In 1999, after losing his final Wimbledon match, he argued with his seven-months-pregnant wife for hours and she began having contractions. Instead of accompanying her to the hospital, he stayed at their hotel drinking, met a woman, then had a five-second sexual encounter with her in a laundry room that produced a child.
then had a five-second sexual encounter He beat my record by three and a half seconds.
posted by vito90 at 04:23 PM on December 01, 2003
Critics have sniffed that the book, being published in 50 countries, is needed to pay for his tax evasion bill and support for his two sons by his ex-wife and daughter by his ex-lover. She probably became his "ex-lover" five seconds after the five-second sexual encounter.
posted by dusted at 05:33 PM on December 01, 2003
Didn't Boris once claim that the Russian model "stole" his sperm after their oral encounter in the cloak room? Boris makes Ben Affleck look classy.
posted by Marla Singer at 07:27 PM on December 01, 2003
I, for one, welcome the five-second laundry room philanderer overlords!
posted by worldcup2002 at 12:41 AM on December 02, 2003
Yes, truly, they are our superiors.
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 11:37 AM on December 03, 2003
You'd think a guy who last five second would know the way to fix that. Go home and work on your groundstrokes. ba dum ching
posted by wfrazerjr at 01:14 PM on December 03, 2003
Don't choke up on the handle. GOOOOOONGGGGGG!
posted by worldcup2002 at 02:45 PM on December 03, 2003
Keep your stance wide, your grip firm yet supple, always an eye on the ball (optional), and follow through.
posted by garfield at 05:02 PM on December 03, 2003
Well. That clears that up.