11/21/24
August 14, 2003
How bad's your EPL Team?: At long last, the EPL season proper is two days away, and the Guardian is posting fans' pessismistic assumptions about their teams fortunes (parts 1, 2, and 3). We have a pretty good spread of supporters here, what are your pessimistic projections for your teams?
Lehman is not a suitable replacement?! Liverpool: Gerard Houllier will frustrate all Liverpool fans when he insists on playing Murphy, Carragher and Heskey. He will slowly ruin Harry Kewell like all other stars that come to Anfield. Kirkland will start instead of Dudek, simply because the English press have a hard on for him and think he is on par with the Pole In The Goal, or better. Liverpool will end up in 5th or worse. Lineup that will take Liverpool to the title: ...................Dudek.................. Finnan, Henchoz, Hyypia, Riise (Or Vignal, Traore even) .....Gerrard, Hamann, Diouf (Or Cheyrou, Riise)..... ...................Kewell.................. ...............Baros, Owen............ Lineup that will end up in 5th or worse: ......................Kirkland...................... Carragher, Henchoz, Hyypia, Traore ..Gerrard, Murphy, Hamann, Kewell.. .................Heskey, Owen................ What will Gerard do?!
posted by StarFucker at 05:53 PM on August 14, 2003
What The Fucker said. Except I'm not so down on Murphy as him. SF, what's the difference between Kewell lined up as an outside MF and all by himself in your 4-3-1-2? I thought his big advantage was width.
posted by billsaysthis at 05:59 PM on August 14, 2003
I would give Kewell free range, the guy is dangerous all over the pitch. He can set up as well as finish. I think we would be wasted on just one side.
posted by StarFucker at 06:06 PM on August 14, 2003
Kewell is a fairy.
posted by Fat Buddha at 06:07 PM on August 14, 2003
If I were to be pessimistic about our hopes then I'd have to go back to the old adage that the second season in the Premiership is the hardest. I think we'll stay up though, because there's at least three teams worse than the Blues. (Though I'm not sure who they are). Any Liverpool team without Murphy will struggle to make a top three place. He makes them tick. And he's in my Fantasy Team, not to piss StarFucker off, but because I think he's one of the most underrated players in the Premiership.
posted by squealy at 06:21 PM on August 14, 2003
I am optimistic about Liverpool. They have the three French youngsters Pong-hole, The Aleck and May-Danny, who provide exciting options in midfield and defence. Hamann is crocked for the foreseeable future (read the news, Fooker!) so the team will most likely be like Fooker's preferred lineup, except for Hamann: Dudek Finnan, Henchoz, Hyppia, Riise (oh please, please) Gerrard, Diao (or maybe Vignal!), Murphy (or Diouf) Kewell Baros, Owen (altho, Heskey has done a lot better in the off-season than he did during last season) And Fooker, maybe you shouldn't be so hard on Houllier. Here's what he said about Kewell: "He will play on both wings during matches, he will play behind the strikers too, the point is that he will not be tied down to one role and will be used on both flanks."
posted by worldcup2002 at 06:55 PM on August 14, 2003
I know Hamann is injured you plonker... But he will be back won't he? I was talking about the starting lineup for the whole season... And Kewell is NOT a fairy...he's got a good looking wife... 
posted by StarFucker at 09:45 PM on August 14, 2003
I love that jacket/no blouse look, don't you? Jerseygirl or aacheson (if you're here), do you go for this on nights out?
posted by billsaysthis at 10:32 PM on August 14, 2003
Oh, that's quite lovely, yes. Especially that tongue sticking out thing. Oh yes.
posted by worldcup2002 at 10:52 PM on August 14, 2003
He's still a fairy.
posted by squealy at 02:36 AM on August 15, 2003
(from the article): LIVERPOOL We have Emile Heskey. -- Sums up all the woes of Liverpool in four simple words ;-) This should be a very good season, you've got the top two: Man U + Arsenal (+ Chelski?) then the wannabe's: (Chelski), Newcastle, Liverpool then the definitely safe: Charlton, Blackburn, Everton And absolutely everybody else in the premiership are candidates for relegation. Personally, I think Man United are going to win this season by about 25 points, but the relegation scraps will be fascinating. I'm just hoping that the Villa won't be involved, but judging by our lack of signings over the summer, I wouldn't be surprised to be looking fearfully at the position of Villa in the premiership table in February.
posted by BigCalm at 06:16 AM on August 15, 2003
Pessimism for the season? West Brom have a window of opportunity of one season. This one. If we don't get back to the Premiership this year we won't get back for at least another 10 years. Koumas will jump ship as will all our other half-decent players. I know we have the squad to do it, but this is going to be our best chance.
posted by salmacis at 08:03 AM on August 15, 2003
I'm hearing very good things about Man City--putting them in the same group as Charlton from BigCalm's post. I'm also looking for a very interesting relegation scrap. Right now, I'd think that Leicester, Leeds, and Wolves are going down. But what the heck do I know?
posted by trox at 08:38 AM on August 15, 2003
trox: I thought the same thing. So you're about a 100% on the money. Hahahahahaha.
posted by worldcup2002 at 10:06 AM on August 15, 2003
DUDEK IS IN!! One less thing to worry about...
posted by StarFucker at 10:38 AM on August 15, 2003
Did you guys see the poll on Soccernet today and yesterday? (Sorry, couldn't find a link for it.) All the usual internet poll caveats aside, ManU is picked by nearly half to win the EPL while Arsenal, Liverpool, and Chelsea (in that order) are within the margin of error tied around 15-16%. Will Tim Howard be keeper of the year and rookie of the year as he leads his side to EPL glory and more? Or will the addition of Bobby Convey to Spurs (in front of American teammate Kasey Keller) brng them a surprisingly good result?
posted by billsaysthis at 11:10 AM on August 15, 2003
I was very surprised by the Convey transfer... I hope he will be a starter.
posted by StarFucker at 11:12 AM on August 15, 2003
Hey Fooker, how'd you like Houllier's decision to let Kewell run free? This is going to be so much frickin' havoc for the opposition, esp. if Liverpool can solidify their midfield (with a core of three rabid tacklers and astute passers ... yeah, we have to clone Gerrard) and just default to an attacking formation.
posted by worldcup2002 at 11:38 AM on August 15, 2003
I am glad that Houllier took my advice... Liverpool really needed someone like Kewell. They had a pretty good team so far, but they didn't have anyone creative at all. Now they will have the stability with the surprise...should be exciting! Can't wait for the match on Sunday!
posted by StarFucker at 12:08 PM on August 15, 2003
Ok, I'm paying attention now Bill. That look doesn't work well with Boston winters. :)
posted by jerseygirl at 12:17 PM on August 15, 2003
The Convery transfer is great. Now I have two Yanks to pull for on my adopted EPL team. I just saw that they listed the squad for the opening game. It seems that the roster size is 18, and you have to declare it a day before. Is this true?
posted by mbd1 at 12:22 PM on August 15, 2003
Yes...
posted by StarFucker at 12:35 PM on August 15, 2003
I am glad Howard is getting some experience in the EPL, but from what I saw in the match against Juventus, he takes entirely too many risks. He was off his line too often, and was lucky that the Italians didn't take advantage of his risk taking. Then again it was a friendly, and his first match with the team, so who knows. I can't believe I scheduled a golf outing tomorrow morning! I'll have to stay away from the computer until after Fox Sports World replays the Arsenal Everton match. terrapin does his happy footy dance :)
posted by scully at 12:56 PM on August 15, 2003
Yeah, i have already cancelled all my plans for tomorrow... And for most of Sunday. Liverpool/Chelsea is the match of the weekend...
posted by StarFucker at 01:04 PM on August 15, 2003
Liverpool is not on TV, those fuckheads at Fox must be out of their minds!!!!! terrapin, they have this thing now called Tivo, I advise you to get one tonight and have it set up before 9 am. PST tomorrow when the Arsenal match is broadcast.
posted by billsaysthis at 03:52 PM on August 15, 2003
Its on pay per view billsaysthis...
posted by StarFucker at 04:00 PM on August 15, 2003
Oh, and its going to be broadcast on Wednesday, taped.
posted by StarFucker at 04:00 PM on August 15, 2003
I still say string up the FSW programmers. Best matchup of top teams of the whole weekend and they'r not showing it live. Cockheads!
posted by billsaysthis at 12:26 AM on August 16, 2003
They ARE showing it live... You just have to pay for it.
posted by StarFucker at 02:27 AM on August 16, 2003
mbd, did you pick Spurs? FB will be pleased.
posted by worldcup2002 at 10:20 AM on August 16, 2003
Kewell's wife is possibly the most annoying character on one of the most annoying soaps. Gawd, he has to wake up to that voice. Anyway. the Boro fan's 'dullest season ever in the Premiership' seems pretty much up/down to my ever-gloomy wishes. Today set the scene: shite away record, probably will hold our own at home, Juninho gets sick of being the only flair player, we become Bolton. Ugh. At least Robson embraced the whole 'Boro rollercoaster' thing. I really do need to get that tenner on Chelski being relegated, though. As Keegan would say, I'd luvit, luvit if that detestable club (glamourous? my arse.) was having to play Crewe next season.
posted by etagloh at 11:17 PM on August 16, 2003
Screwed up the first link somehow, but here goes, my pessimistic season preview for Arsenal. Arsenal fans will be more nervous without David Seaman in the net than they were with him there, and with good reason. They failed to find an adequate replacement despite a spate of rumored transfers (Rustu, etc.). Add that to a back line that will be very shaky next to Sol Campbell (even more so when Keown rests), there could be many, many goals scored upon them. Up front, Henry will be fine, but I don't think he really has anyone to support him. The rest of the attack are has been's, almost were's, and never will be's (Jeffers cough cough). The midfield doesn't give me much hope either as they may all be on the decline. Our European showing won't improve much either. Now that we've shown that we can win in Europe, we've forgotten how to win at Highbury (witness the Champion's League and last seasons late season collapse). Finally, I see Arsenal as coming in 6th, behind Man U, Chelsea (doh!), Liverpool (double doh!), Everton, and some other club that no one here probably even cares about. At least Arsenal will place in front of Tottenham. Ed. note: remember this is pessimism, I don't truly buy everything I wrote, but some of it is depressingly true.