11/21/24
November 06, 2010
The Hoser's NFL Picks 2010 -- Week Nine: NFL picks that are having a hard time not buying the damned half-off Halloween candy.
You're a brave man, picking the Vikings.
posted by dviking at 08:44 PM on November 06, 2010
I picked the Cards to cover, though. I'd pick the Vikings to cover if they'd just start Jackson under centre.
posted by wfrazerjr at 09:48 PM on November 06, 2010
Damn it, we're 6-2 ATS so far, we look good on the three late games -- and the Pats screwed every single play we made.
Oh, and next week is haiku week! We're working on a contest -- details to come tomorrow!
posted by wfrazerjr at 06:47 PM on November 07, 2010
Wow, Cowboys. Surely now...
posted by justgary at 11:06 PM on November 07, 2010
Going into tomorrow night's game, we are a scorching 10-2 against the spread and 9-3 straight up ... and we're still not going to win one bet.
(runs off crying)
posted by wfrazerjr at 11:23 PM on November 07, 2010
Most likely the best week The Hoser has ever had -- 11-2 against the spread and 10-3 straight up. The bad news is one of the losses was New England in the Lock of the Week.
Still, given the way this season has gone, we'll take it and we'll take being 20-6 against the spread during the past two weeks.
Haiku week this week!
2010 Week Nine Hoser Picks:
2010 Season Hoser Picks
2010 Week 9 Money Spent: $25
Straight Up: 10-3
Against The Spread: 11-2
Lock of the Week: 0-1
Trifecta: 0-1
Money: $280
Straight Up: 79-53
Against The Spread: 62-62-8
Lock of the Week: 3-6
Trifecta: 1-8
Money: $-2,190
2010 Week 9 Money Made: $0
2010 Season Money Spent: $125
2010 Season Money Made: $50
2010 Total: $-75
posted by wfrazerjr at 09:52 AM on November 09, 2010
Welcome to Week Nine of the 2010 edition of The Hoser's NFL Picks, where the long night is over at least for now.
The Hoser staff finally brought home a winner, hammering out a 9-4 record both against the spread and straight up. We also knocked it out of the park on the extras, picking San Francisco as our Lock of the Week and following it up with a Trifecta score of the 49ers, St. Louis and Tampa Bay. That netted a tidy $1,460 gain which means we're now a paltry $2,500 or so in the hole for the season.
The week could only have been better had Tennessee been able to score at the end of its loss to the Chargers. We had the Titans +3 and a touchdown would have given us a monster $375 payout on a $5 seven-team parlay. Once again, Norv Turner (and the early loss of Kenny Britt) screws us.
The good news for Randy Moss he has a job in Tennessee. The bad news every Friday, Titans' practice is catered by Stuckey's.
In Washington, head coach Mike Shanahan benched Donovan McNabb in favour of Rex Grossman at the end of a loss to the Lions, supposedly for lacking the "cardiovascular fitness" to run the two-minute drill. This is McNabb's own fault for buying a copy of Albert Haynesworth's workout video, "Bitching and Moaning to the Oldies."
Remember these picks are just for fun. Using them to wager money is advisable as ranking Jerry Rice ahead of Jim Brown as the best NFL player of all time.
Chicago (-2.5) at BUFFALO (41): The game's in Toronto, but will anyone care after last week's awesome Argos/Alouettes kickfest? We think not. Bears 23, Bills 20.
San Diego (-2.5) at HOUSTON (51): We've reached the point of the season where Norv Turner starts dancing around and singing, "It's the moooost wonderfulll timmmmmeeee of the yearrrrr," and saves his job again. Chargers 27, Texans 24.
New Orleans (-6.5) at CAROLINA (41): We found out this week Saints quarterback Drew Brees apparently has President Barack Obama on speed-dial on his cell phone. Doesn't he have any running backs stored in there? Saints 30, Panthers 13.
Arizona (+9) at MINNESOTA (40.5): It's pretty sad to think the Vikings have a quarterback with a broken ankle and tendinitis that's better than both of Phoenix's QBs combined. Vikings 24, Cardinals 16.
Tampa Bay (+8) at ATLANTA (44.5): Bucs head coach Raheem Morris said this week his team is the best in the NFC. That's the kind of thing that gets a drug-testing policy pushed along. Falcons 23, Buccaneers 17.
NY Jets (-4) at DETROIT (41.5): Had the government put Calvin Johnson in charge of rebuilding the Big Three, he'd be done by now and we'd all be flying Jetsons cars. Lions 23, Jets 19.
Miami (+5.5) at BALTIMORE (40.5): Do you think Ravens defensive coordinator Greg Mattison has stopped talking about the 34 the Bills hung on them two weeks ago? Neither do we. Ravens 22, Dolphins 17.
New England (-5) at CLEVELAND (44): Ahh, another chance for Bill Belichick to embarrass a former protg. At least Mangini could outdress him if he wanted. Patriots 31, Browns 20.
NY Giants (-7) at SEATTLE (41.5): Seattle QB Matt Hasselbeck had put on him last week, he might be seeing triple. With the Seahawks' receiving corps, however, actually having three of each of them wouldn't help. Giants 27, Seahawks 19.
Kansas City (+2.5) at OAKLAND (40.5): A meaningful game between the Chiefs and the Raiders? Somewhere, primates are becoming airborne from Wayne Campbell's anus. Raiders 23, Chiefs 20.
Indianapolis (+2.5) at PHILADELPHIA (46.5): This, my friends, is what is known as a trap line. Take all that crap you hear about Andy Reid on a bye week and Indy's injuries, throw it out the window and repeat to yourself, "Peyton Manning, Peyton Manning " Colts 27, Eagles 23.
Dallas (+8) at GREEN BAY (45.5): Dallas hasn't sucked like this since Debbie was in town. Packers 29, Cowboys 19.
Pittsburgh (-4.5) at CINCINNATI (41.5): Boy, having Ocho Cinco and T.O. has made all the difference, hasn't it? Steelers 24, Bengals 17.
Lock of the Week: New England
Trifecta: New England, Oakland, Green Bay
2010 Week Eight Hoser Picks:
Straight Up: 9-4
Against The Spread: 9-4
Lock of the Week: 1-0
Trifecta: 1-0
Money: $1,560
2010 Season Hoser Picks
Straight Up: 69-50
Against The Spread: 51-60-8
Lock of the Week: 3-5
Trifecta: 1-7
Money: $-2,470
2010 Week 8 Money Spent: $20
2010 Week 8 Money Made: $0
2010 Season Money Spent: $100
2010 Season Money Made: $50
2010 Total: $-50
The format will stay as it has been each game is $100 ATS, with a $100 Trifecta (6:1 odds) and a $300 Lock of the Week for an even $2K per week. When the bye weeks begin, we'll jump the Lock to $500 to keep the number even. We'll use Danny Sheridan's line in the USA Today each week.