04/24/24
May 24, 2009
Doon With The Toon: Newcastle fail to survive in the English Premiership. Devastated Geordies had some minor consolation because northeast rivals Middlesbrough also join them in the second tier next season.
That was some ugly football Sunday -- none of the four teams threatened with relegation got a single point. I watched the Hull City game on Fox Soccer expecting to hear that Newcastle had scored the goal that would've been enough to send Hull down.
This is the first relegation for Newcastle in 20 years.
posted by rcade at 09:25 AM on May 25, 2009
Seriously, as if none of those teams wanted to stay up. Where was the desperation/urgency? Hull is basically rewarded for getting off to a very good start, but points in September and October count the same as those in April and May -- although Hull largely stayed up by virtue of the incompetence of those below them and not of their own merit.
posted by holden at 10:50 AM on May 25, 2009
It's fitting that the four teams fighting to stay up all lost, considering they're all awful.
Five minutes after the final whistle I sent my Toon-supporting friend a text with commiserations. And directions to Portman Road.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:28 AM on May 25, 2009
Fitting indeed as Toon are down through an own goal--from a winger, at that! Sad that Shearer couldn't get them one more point from eight games but hard to blame the fourth manager in a single season. My question is when will Ashley understand he is the problem and needs to sell on.
Boro were hapless enough and buying Alves was a mistake from which Southgate never recovered. Hull got their points, though how they slid from 6th at Xmas to staying up by a single goal still puzzles me.
Looking down a level, Charlton and, to a lesser extent, Norwich sure went boom! And not in a good way either.
posted by billsaysthis at 02:49 PM on May 25, 2009
"when will Ashley understand he is the problem and needs to sell on."
He tried and no one was buying. A sale is even less likely now he's ~250m into the club and they're in the Championship.
They'll get roughly 11m as a parachute payment, but their annual wage bill is up toward 60m and I understand they didn't write relegation pay cuts into their contracts, meaning anyone who stays will be loitering on Premier money. Mentioning no Damien Duff names.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 05:33 PM on May 25, 2009
I like one of the Guardian's other columnists, who said that West Brom went down playing good football, Boro went down through making a lot of small mistakes, while Newcastle went down with their underpants on their head.
Anyone taking bets on Burnley staying up more than one season? For the good of football, I hope they do. And when I mean 'good of football', I mean well managed, locally supported clubs who don't go mad with money.
posted by owlhouse at 06:27 PM on May 25, 2009
Owlie, when you say that I think of Blackburn, Fulham and especially Everton.
MrB, there is always a buyer, it's just a question of price. Anyway, I thought clubs could pretty much cut players loose as they see fit.
I wonder if this reputed new owner of Sunderland will really put out GBP200M for players. That would make life interesting at the foot of the table.
posted by billsaysthis at 10:24 PM on May 25, 2009
Burnley played well against Premier League clubs in the FA Cup this year, although I know that may not be saying too much. What about Wolves and Birmingham City, the other two promoted clubs? Are they up to stay or just there for a one-year stint?
posted by boredom_08 at 11:44 PM on May 25, 2009
"MrB, there is always a buyer, it's just a question of price."
Well, yeah. I could send Ashley an offer for five dollars and some pocket lint and he'd have "a buyer" - I understand he had offers when he tried to move the club - but there are buyers and then there are buyers.
If he didn't find a serious offer when he was in the Prem I don't think it became more likely now they're down and he has two hundred and fifty million reasons to wait for a buyer. Unless he decides to pull a Honda F1 and just sell the whole thing for a Euro so that he doesn't lose any more money.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 10:12 AM on May 26, 2009
MrB, the latter is more what I was thinking. Someone with the resources to clear debts and provide what's needed to make this a one season sojourn down under. Your pocket lint won't do for that, even if all the other SpoFites kick in theirs.
posted by billsaysthis at 12:13 PM on May 26, 2009
Damn. I guess I'll have to go to my fallback plan of buying Norwich for my naval lint.
And then burning the place down.
When Marcus Evans came in to Ipswich I was delighted that he was going to clear our debt and didn't really mind if he then didn't give us any more cash to spend on players as I figured that, without debt, our ~23,000 a week support would finance a reasonable Championship side.
I was happy to loiter about in Division 2 where we usually win more than we lose and be a "nice" club with a reasonable history, going on a surprise cup run once a decade, but I'm not sure that that would be enough for an alleged "big" club like the Magpies - as you say, they'll want to be right back in the money trough next season.
From the wonderful world of hearsay "they" tell me that debt clearing was exactly what Ashley came in to do, but either didn't do proper due diligence, or was hoodwinked, because he found a lot of unrevealed debt and money he'd expected to invest in the club instead had to be poked in holes in the boat to stop it from sinking.
Now those holes are likely to get bigger as he's going to have to take a loss on players to get their Premier wages off the books and Shearer apparently wants a guaranteed 30m in transfer money and no Dennis Wise-Director of Football-shenanigans if he's to stay.
After a spurned lover-style attempt to get shot of the club when people starting booing him, Ashley has gone from chumming it with the fans in a barcode jersey to sitting in the executive boxes wearing a suit and at least trying to look like a guy who owns a football club. He seems to be pretty fickle, but if stumps up the money to keep Alan, I can't see that he'll turn around and essentially give the club away and if he tries to sell before those decisions are made, the mystical buyers will know he's desperate and he'll get it in the shorts.
Of course, we'll be bumping them out of the promotion spots next season, (and thereby sending them into a Leeds-style spiral of bankruptcy), because now we have Roy Keane and so we are unstoppable!.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:49 PM on May 26, 2009
Bizarrely, I was listening to yesterday's Guardian podcast while typing and a couple of minutes after hitting send on my post, they mention how Ashley has started wearing a suit to matches too, as some sign that he's taking the whole thing seriously now.
I didn't realise that that was all it took, but clearly he has me and the Guardian convinced.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 01:06 PM on May 26, 2009
The Myth of Newcastle as a Big Club.
Last trophy? 1955.
Derby have had two league titles and a European Cup semi since then. And a few relegations, mind. But we aren't arrogant enough to keep banging on about what a big club we are.
Ipswich, too, Mr B - Cup winners in 1978 and some good UEFA Cup runs.
Let's see how many they get through the gate at St James' next season.
posted by owlhouse at 05:14 PM on May 26, 2009
some good UEFA Cup runs.
Including that time we won it. Ahem.
The Walrus Wark, still a legend.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 05:17 PM on May 26, 2009
I know, I just don't like the idea of you getting a European trophy, when F****t have two that rightly belong to us.
posted by owlhouse at 08:32 PM on May 26, 2009
All credit to Roy Keane but the dog does need to be walked regularly.
posted by billsaysthis at 12:14 PM on May 28, 2009
What's the exchange rate for pocket lint? Ashley has put the club back on the market for 80m.
--Edit--
Why does SpoFi hate symbols? There should be a 
in the post.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 11:14 AM on May 31, 2009
The only top flight northeast derby next season? Sunderland and Hull City.
And Hull's a stretch.