January 12, 2006

Torino 2006 Olympics: Use your own epitaphs!

My Uncle Fred called from Chicago last night. He's a piece of work my Uncle Fred. 45 years in a press room will do that to you. Me: "Hey, Uncle Fred, What's up?" Uncle Fred: "Don't, What's up me, I talked to your Mom last night. I hear your writing some stuff bout the Winter Lympics calling it Torino. It's Turin ya bean bag, Torino's a crappy car Ford (He's a Chevy Guy) use to make, d'ya ever hear of The Shroud of Torino, God no, ya sissy, it's the Shroud of Turin ya goof ball, God Damm Boys in the press room gonna ride me again bout your sissy ass. What ya think it was the **** Romo Olympics" Me: "Uncle Fred you been watching PTI again?" You know Wilbon's right, it's their country, they can call it what they want and the whole damm World calls it Torino and they did call it the Romo Olympics." Uncle Fred: Your a ***** communist, Would be no lympics without the Good Ole USA. It's Turin ya sissy.... Uncle Fred gets like that when he hasn't taken his daily vitamin B complex..Burger, Beer and Bourban...... Here's your Torino "Quick Zone Zingers"

  • The weather forecast for Torino, Italy during the upcoming Winter Games (February 10th-26th) doesn't look so winter-like: only a 1% chance of daily snowfall, a 16% chance of daily rain and temperatures expected to average in the upper forties. Perhaps they should consider renaming the Games the "Global Warming Games".
  • The Salt Lake Games had a goal of 92% of the one million tickets available sold. No problem, done deal. Torino, Italy has a goal of 82.5% of the one million tickets available sold, with only 585,000 sold so far and only 28 days until the opening ceremony. Let's hope the Italian Government finally approves the $3.6 billion Torino Budget—and with a $97 million estimated shortfall and the Italian government being, well, the Italian government, don't hold your breath if you're an Italian Olympic Contractor.
  • Speaking of apathy does anyone really care if Dick Buttons is making his NBC Olympic Figure Skating announcing debut? I thought not.
  • What's with the Torino Mascots, Him and Her? What the hell are those things and who the hell named them Neve and Gliz? Which one is which? Probably designed by the same people responsible for the ticket sales marketing plan!
  • Gotta love Bode Miller. Without his current drama would anyone in this country know how strong the U.S. Olympic Ski Team really is? I didn't. 60 Minutes, Bode, what were you thinking? They never have any of their guests' best interest at heart. Should've given your interview to John Stoussel or perhaps Baba Waawaa!
  • Michelle Kwan is petioning the U.S. Figure Skating Committee to be placed on the 3rd available Olympic spot, possibly knocking out a qualifier from this weekends' U.S. Nationals. Hey, it happened before: remember Nancy Kerrigan, the poor lass who was attacked and injured with Tanya Hardings blessings, being put on the '94 Lillehammer Team despite missing the qualifying? Guess who she bumped from that team?

    If you correctly answered Michele Kwan you have either way too much time on your hands or a really good sense of irony!
  • One more, than I have go. Telemundo is about to rebroadcast the U.S. vs Romania Curling pre-Torino warm-up match. Oh, never mind ....

posted by skydivedad to commentary at 05:17 PM - 0 comments

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