May 27, 2003

Why the Stanley Cup just plain kicks ass.: 10 reasons why the Stanley Cup kicks the ass of every other trophy, ever

Hockey's Holy Grail is only four wins away. People may or may not care about ice hockey but you must respect the silverware. I have 10 Reasons the Stanley Cup kicks the ass of every other trophy ever. You can make up your own mind.

1. Size: It is the right size for a championship trophy. If you battle all season to win a title then last thing you want is some dinky little thing. With a weight of 34½ pounds and a height of 35¼ inches it feels and looks like a worthy prize to play for. Trophies that you can lift with one hand just don’t cut it in terms of proper-looking rewards for a championship.
2. History: The Stanley Cup has actual lore and features in amusing anecdotes.
3. The Fans: People make their own homemade Stanley Cups to bring to playoff games. They usually look like crap but hey, they rule.
4. Celebration: The battered, bruised and sweaty victorious team gathers for an informal team photo with the Cup (started with the 1988 Oilers) which captures the joy and relief of following the magical moment of victory. The trophy presentation takes place out on the ice (rather than in the locker room) and is shared with the fans. The winning team will take a victory lap around the rink (to polite applause when winning it on the road) and they pass the cup from person to person so each guy gets a chance to skate while holding this thing above their head and thinking "I rule!". Unless of course you were Chris Chelios in 1986.
5. Have Cup, Must Drink: You can drink out of it. Surely stuff tastes better out of the Stanley Cup. Drinking out of trophies is cool.
6. Immortalization: If you win it then your name is engraved on it. Not just the name of your team but your actual name. You could be some shmoe that was lucky enough to be on the roster of a Cup-winning team and your name will be immortalized on the Cup which would elevate you above normal shmoedom. You could visit the Cup 30 years after you won it and point to your name on the thing and say "that's me". As if that isn't cool.
7. Quality Time:Each member of the winning team gets to have the Cup for 24hrs over the offseason. This fantastic idea lets the players share their victory with their families and friends. This means that you could take the Cup to your hometown and hurrah! Another victory parade!
8. Coolness: It is 110 years old. It named after a historical figure (the donor, how fitting). It has its own posse. And it has been updated as need arose.
9. Reverence: It is kept in the Hockey Hall of Fame in a really nice room. The HHOF is a converted bank building and the Great Hall includes all of the NHL silverware. You can touch the Stanley Cup. (And as an added bonus, unlike in Canton or Cooperstown there is team that plays just around the corner so you can make a easy gameday sidetrip to see the museum).
10. Ass Kickingness: Finally, when you compare it to the trophies awarded in the other major sports it is plainly obvious that the Stanley Cup rules and all the others suck (or "don't rule" or “rule less”). Consider the World Series Championship Trophy (incredibly dull name, looks like a cake or something), Vince Lombardi Trophy (while it has a good colour for a trophy it is kind of a small prize to win one of the world’s most-watched championship games, a one hander) and the Larry O'Brien Trophy (the NBA trophy, it is a one-hander) and the World Cup (not even a cup and it is a rather small trophy for what can be called the biggest sporting event in the world)

Stanley Cup Finals start tonight. All eyes on the prize.

posted by gspm to commentary at 06:45 AM - 0 comments