11/05/24
February 22, 2004
Was EPL Fantasy League Week 26 (February) our worst week ever collectively? Consider that 42 was enough for Bayern Mucus to take the week. In a period when everyone scored except Liverpool -- even Brad Friedel -- you'd think that at least attacking players' scores would be higher, but the law of averages apparently got its revenge on the distribution of those goals. Low scores mean not much movement in table, and that the February competition is ripe for just about anybody... (more inside)
posted by taupe to navel gazing at 03:11 PM - 45 comments
Liverpool plays one of their makeup games next weekend, against Leeds. So they will have 26 games like everyone else before the next round... Now someone has to explain to me how the Reds did not manage a single score in over 180 minutes of playing time against a bottom of the table team like Pompey. I got to watch today's match and the result was inexeplicable. Okay no Kewell but Owen is healthy, Heskey had chances, Baros played a whole half, Le Tallec had nearly two whole games and has shown he doesn't have what it takes to play at this level yet. Maybe we're missing Diouf more than I would have thought and WHY WHY WHY didn't Riise get a chance to go back to midfield today--he did really well there two years ago before being switched to fullback.
posted by billsaysthis at 07:37 PM on February 22, 2004
Little pressie for Big Calm.
posted by Fat Buddha at 07:31 AM on February 23, 2004
Dear Bloated Meditator, squelchy and Kwacky - Sod off you lucky lucky lucky bastards.
posted by BigCalm at 08:39 AM on February 23, 2004
Hahaha. Big Calm, old chap, we are lucky lucky lucky bastards it's true, and that's what makes it so chuffin hilarious!
posted by Fat Buddha at 09:09 AM on February 23, 2004
I think it's fair to say we were a tad fortunate, yes. With regard to my FFL team I stumbled haplessly from mistake to mistake - this week selling 9 point Shearer and replacing him with not even playing at all Saha. It's enough to make a grown man cry, rather like the Viler fans at the end of the game yesterday. :P
posted by squealy at 11:19 AM on February 23, 2004
It was a shite weekend, what with my lousy fantasy scores and the Liverpool loss to Portsmouth. Graaargh.
posted by worldcup2002 at 02:57 PM on February 23, 2004
Gerard Houllier...sticking with the best up front again...
posted by StarFucker at 06:05 PM on February 23, 2004
BlogFC is calling today for the immediate dismissal of GH, naming Thompson as interim and luring a big name in the summer. Hard to argue with that logic.
posted by billsaysthis at 06:25 PM on February 23, 2004
Don't you just Liverpool fans, spoilt brats the lot of them. The vast majority of supporters would give their eye teeth to be in Liverpools position. It's about time the berks grew up and realised the world doesn't revolve them, that they cannot win every game , that the game has moved on since the bloody seventies and to be competing for 4th spot is a pretty good effort with a massive reward if they achieve it. Did they not win some kind of a treble a couple of years ago? What's the matter with these people? Who do they think they are? Excuse me while I throw up.
posted by Fat Buddha at 06:39 AM on February 24, 2004
Word. ;-)
posted by squealy at 10:17 AM on February 24, 2004
FB, are you suggesting that you don't want your boys to win every time out? That you don't vent over bad streaks of play?
posted by billsaysthis at 10:36 AM on February 24, 2004
bill, perversely, given our record I fully expect Blues to win every game, but they don't and it comes as no surprise. I don't go into fits of apoplexy or rage or depression every time we drop a point. No rational football fan does. Most fans accept that defeat is part of the game and are well adjusted enough to accept that. What grates is the fact that Liverpool fans think they have a divine right to win every competition, every year. It is childish. There is a page of quotes in todays Guardian from various ex players fans and gawd knows who else and the common theme is that they expect better and will not accept less, it is unthinkable. Well, here's the news: it is acceptable and it is thinkable and these buggers should start appreciating what they have got, rather than what they had, it is still better than what about 95% of the rest of us have to put up with. I'm all for football fans suffering angst; it is good for the soul; Liverpool fans however are clearly too precious to cope. They should take up an emotionally neutral pastime, like knitting. Ye chuffin Gods!
posted by Fat Buddha at 11:30 AM on February 24, 2004
Or to put it simply - Liverpool fans should learn to STFU and get on with it.
posted by kWaCkY at 12:22 PM on February 24, 2004
Exackerly, Fazackerly.
posted by Fat Buddha at 12:38 PM on February 24, 2004
Foshizzle.
posted by worldcup2002 at 03:36 PM on February 24, 2004
Guys, the only LFC fans I associate and communicate with are here on this board, so I sure hope you're not including us in that shizznit.
posted by billsaysthis at 06:14 PM on February 24, 2004
Shit no bill, you lot are excused. It's the others!
posted by Fat Buddha at 06:25 PM on February 24, 2004
(forgive me, I was trying to hunt for the Liverpool FC/Scousers/Harry Enfield pic and found this instead) A Liverpool fan, an Arsenal fan and a Man Utd. were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping." The Arsenal fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Arsenal fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done. The Man Utd. fan was next up (he almost finished a half-can), and after watching the scene, said: "Choice! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again. The Liverpool fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world, your city has some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Cheers mate, your Most Royal and Merciful highness", The Liverpool fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave. "The Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks. "Please tie the Man Utd. fan to my back." more from laughfc
posted by BigCalm at 06:56 PM on February 24, 2004
HA!! Stupid Man Utd...
posted by StarFucker at 07:48 PM on February 24, 2004
Oh, I'm so going to turn that into a Kings/Spurs/Mavericks joke, BC. Like it a lot. BTW, I'm lazy and uninformed....is Saha going to be back next game or not so much?
posted by Ufez Jones at 09:21 PM on February 24, 2004
Excellent BC!
posted by billsaysthis at 09:35 PM on February 24, 2004
BC, that is brilliant! Hahahahahahahahahaha. I'm ... Hahahahahahahaha!
posted by worldcup2002 at 11:47 PM on February 24, 2004
Strange, it was Villa fan last time I heard it. Ufez, expect Saha to start the next game, unfortunately that's against Porto tonight so it doesn't count for much. I hear he picked up a slight knock playing for France and was rested against Leeds as a precaution. I mean, it's not like ManU need their first team squad to be able to beat a shit team like Leeds now is it?
posted by squealy at 08:01 AM on February 25, 2004
Ok, this is gonna sound like a really dumb question, but how did I lose points last night? I had 23 lst night. This morining I have 20. I'm still figuring out the stats columns, and I'm assuming Goals Conceded is a type of +/-, but how do you get points for conceding goals? I'm at a loss. FB & BC, I don't yet understand the Liverpool expectancy, but I think your joke helped.
posted by garfield at 09:18 AM on February 25, 2004
Garfy, I seem to recall Nalis having 5 points earlier in the week, but now he only has 2, which must mean he'd been credited with an assist which has been rescinded. With regard to Goals conceded, here's the relevant rules: For your goalkeeper / defender conceding 0 goals and playing at least 60 minutes 4 points For your midfielders conceding 0 goals and playing at least 60 minutes 2 points. For every 2 goals conceded by your goalkeeper or defender -1 point For playing at least 60 minutes in a game 2 points So for example if a defender plays 60 minutes and concedes 0 goals he'll get 6 points (4 for clean sheet and 2 for playing 60 minutes). If his team loses 2-0 however, he would lose his 4 point bonus for the clean sheet and another point for conceding 2 goals. Therefore he'd score 1 point made up of 2 for playing 90 minutes minus 1 for conceding 2 goals. (I think)
posted by squealy at 11:40 AM on February 25, 2004
Squealy, much appreciated! That makes sense, like bonus points for a shut out.
posted by garfield at 12:30 PM on February 25, 2004
I need to score 100 pts this weekend. Seeing that I have a better chance of moving up here than in the yahoo league, I'm hoping to at least match my #6 rank in yahoo. To do that, I will really really really need to score 100 pts.
posted by worldcup2002 at 01:05 PM on February 27, 2004
100 points would be helpful for me too. Perhaps RVN, Saha and Hasselbaink will all put three in the net while Howard pitches a shutout. That would be my best shot.
posted by billsaysthis at 04:27 PM on February 27, 2004
Man U? A shutout? Hahahahahahahahahahahaha
posted by BigCalm at 06:52 PM on February 27, 2004
BC, I was just figuring how my particulat fantasy team could get to 100 this week, you big (damn, what was that insult WC used to fling around all the time?)
posted by billsaysthis at 07:40 PM on February 27, 2004
Brummy bog bandit.
posted by worldcup2002 at 09:58 PM on February 27, 2004
OK, which of you bastards told me Saha was injured last night when I was too drunk to think?
posted by squealy at 09:00 AM on February 28, 2004
It's the 2nd half and RVN's on the bench, Saha scored (yay!) and it is Man U 1-0 against Fulham. But Howard isn't playing. Thank God I switched Van Der Sar out for Maik Taylor (now I need two shutouts from him). I'm already at 32 with just five of my players playing today. C'mon boys! Also, Henry got an assist and (right now) the winning goal. Arsenal leads 2-1 vs Charlton. Go, mon capitan!
posted by worldcup2002 at 10:29 AM on February 28, 2004
ohmigosh! RVN came on as a substitute, but before that he got yellow-carded for running on to the pitch to protest a no-call on a penalty when Saha was fouled. So he actually lost points for some of us without even being on the team! But he's on now. So maybe he'll make up by scoring a hattrick. Hah!
posted by worldcup2002 at 10:40 AM on February 28, 2004
Let's just say after today's results no matter what happens tomorrow I will not be reaching the century mark this weekend. Those damn brummy bog bandits, and I mean you Sir Alex and your wanton way with RVN and Howard.
posted by billsaysthis at 01:00 PM on February 28, 2004
Okay, so that sucked. I look at the schedule and see that there are a couple of teams that have more than one game, so I use my weekly sub to pick up someone random from one of those teams, thinking it'll get me a couple of extra points. So I poke around a bit and settle on Zenden. Who got a red card today. Total score for weekend from him: -1. Tosser.
posted by Ufez Jones at 04:12 PM on March 03, 2004
HA! I had him for a while now, thought i might get some points today too. What a loser.
posted by StarFucker at 04:22 PM on March 03, 2004
If I could count on my fingers the ways I fucked up this week, I'd be from Wolverhampton.
posted by squealy at 05:53 PM on March 03, 2004
You mean you would have 12 fingers?
posted by Fat Buddha at 09:37 AM on March 04, 2004
Bill, I have to say this to be kind, a Brummy is a person who hails from Birmingham and is not, in itself, an insult. You cannot keep calling Alex Ferguson a Brummy bog bandit; it makes no sense. You will have to make do with Scotch Chunt.
posted by Fat Buddha at 09:40 AM on March 04, 2004
Yes FB, that's exactly what I mean.
posted by squealy at 11:21 AM on March 04, 2004
FB, thanks for the lesson in cursing! So are you personally a brummy bog bandit?
posted by billsaysthis at 04:42 PM on March 04, 2004
Chunt?
posted by garfield at 08:59 AM on March 05, 2004
I'm moving up! Looks like Birmingham will have a clean sheet today. Go Maik Taylor and Cunningham!
posted by worldcup2002 at 10:47 AM on March 06, 2004
Please note that this is the table as it stood immediately following the last results; it won't be current even by the time you read this, as I intend to soak an immediate four-point penalty for a double switch that I just can't pass up: