December 07, 2003

EPL Fantasy League Week 15: Scott Parker + Ruud van Nistelrooy as captain = 77 points for both sauril and BigCalm, putting each in the top thousand for December so far. lilnemo also breaks the week's top percentile with his 73, which will sure show him to skip those Yahoo updates. It's Horseface up and Henry unexpectedly down, Southampton suddenly scoring and Birmingham's defence hemmorhaging goals, and our league has a new #2... (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 05:28 PM - 21 comments

...it's Andy Griffiths's bluebears, vaulting the Fooker into second place:

Overall
   Team   Manager   T   G   R   P 
 1  Bayern Mucus 03   Danny The Taupe   21   49   3,550   737 
 2  bluebears   andy griffiths   8   58   9,937   705 
 3  Blammos!   Star Unsuitable   8   37   11,717   699 
 4  Crap City United   g s p m   11   47   15,627   688 
 5  Kwacky's Kwitters   richard looker   16   48   16,098   687 
 6  Charlton Emulators   F'd Off   20   37   19,111   680 
 7  Ardley Athletic   Squealy Neily   25   41   25,760   666 
 8  Mossy Athletic   Emad Mostaque   16   26   29,934   658 
 9  Rings of Saturn   David Hansen   5   44   32,425   653 
 10  37 Push Ups   Corpse R. Christ   1   54   36,453   646 
 11  Finally   Mark D   13   77   39,751   641 
 11  Deadly Calm   Big Calm   14   77   39,779   641 
 13  Terrapin Utd   Rick Scully   8   59   42,134   637 
 14  Bosiak Bashers   joe bieda   17   35   43,561   635 
 14  The Bog Bandits   Fat Buddha   23   35   43,637   635 
 16  last again   eckeric eckeric   5   37   50,357   624 
 17  cutters   mbd1 mbd1   13   30   51,871   622 
 18  Salmacis FC   Huw Morris   8   58   55,008   617 
 19  FC Cacahuate   skronk _   27   54   61,041   608 
 20  fascist bully boys   Ufez Jones   7   47   62,612   605 
 21  Sporting Goats   Eliot Shepard   0   55   64,927   601 
 22  vagabonds   christopher f   20   30   69,108   595 
 23  BillSaysThisSCORES!!   Bill Lazar   12   64   72,605   589 
 24  SilentInTheMorning   pful ler   2   54   78,655   578 
 25  Nemo's Dreamers   lil nemo   14   73   92,670   551 
 26  Generals F.C.   Noah Egorin   14   35   97,644   540 
 27  Atlanta Untitled   Tim Truxell   13   34   107,685   515 
 28  AVZ Thundering Herd   usf bull   7   39   117,022   488 
 29  tallclay   Clay H   16   33   120,898   476 
 30  Trendelmaniacs   t trendel   0   36   124,375   464 
 
December
   Team   Manager   T   G   R   P 
 1  Finally   Mark D   0   77   563   77 
 1  Deadly Calm   Big Calm   0   77   563   77 
 3  Nemo's Dreamers   lil nemo   0   73   1,442   73 
 4  BillSaysThisSCORES!!   Bill Lazar   0   64   8,619   64 
 5  Terrapin Utd   Rick Scully   0   59   18,974   59 
 6  Salmacis FC   Huw Morris   0   58   21,711   58 
 6  bluebears   andy griffiths   0   58   21,711   58 
 8  Sporting Goats   Eliot Shepard   0   55   31,844   55 
 9  37 Push Ups   Corpse R. Christ   0   54   35,825   54 
 9  SilentInTheMorning   pful ler   0   54   35,825   54 
 9  FC Cacahuate   skronk _   0   54   35,825   54 
 12  Bayern Mucus 03   Danny The Taupe   1   49   64,042   49 
 13  Kwacky's Kwitters   richard looker   0   48   64,189   48 
 14  fascist bully boys   Ufez Jones   0   47   69,699   47 
 14  Crap City United   g s p m   1   47   75,319   47 
 16  Rings of Saturn   David Hansen   0   44   87,424   44 
 17  Ardley Athletic   Squealy Neily   0   41   106,722   41 
 18  AVZ Thundering Herd   usf bull   0   39   120,101   39 
 19  last again   eckeric eckeric   0   37   133,575   37 
 19  Blammos!   Star Unsuitable   0   37   133,575   37 
 19  Charlton Emulators   F'd Off   1   37   140,120   37 
 22  Trendelmaniacs   t trendel   0   36   140,335   36 
 23  The Bog Bandits   Fat Buddha   0   35   147,027   35 
 23  Bosiak Bashers   joe bieda   0   35   147,027   35 
 23  Generals F.C.   Noah Egorin   0   35   147,027   35 
 26  Atlanta Untitled   Tim Truxell   0   34   153,587   34 
 27  tallclay   Clay H   0   33   160,044   33 
 28  vagabonds   christopher f   0   30   177,846   30 
 28  cutters   mbd1 mbd1   0   30   177,846   30 
 30  Mossy Athletic   Emad Mostaque   2   26   211,725   22 
The top eight from this week all had Seabiscuit as their captain, as did tied-for-ninth skronk and top-half gspm. My 49 was the best for a team that didn't have the guy, which is cold comfort. When your captain fails to appear, your first eligible substitute becomes your new captain; fortunes here ranged from kWaCkY winning the lottery with Michael Svensson, bagging him 20 points, to corpse's 12 for Lee Carsley, to Fat Buddha (Naysmith, 6) and Clay H (Biscan, 4). Of course it helps if you have an eligible substitute, as StarFucker, catfish and mossy didn't; they all ate the goose egg for Henry. In other news, squealy will enjoy his score. I hope.

posted by taupe at 05:30 PM on December 07, 2003

For those who may miss the goddam interview that this post pushed off the page, there's the link to it.

posted by taupe at 05:31 PM on December 07, 2003

And it's "hemorrhaging", not "hemmorhaging". My bad.

posted by taupe at 05:33 PM on December 07, 2003

R-u-u-u-u-u-u-d-d-d-d!!!!!!

posted by billsaysthis at 05:42 PM on December 07, 2003

The four injured players I'm carrying are dragging me towards the bottom of the table. Lovely.

posted by mbd1 at 06:19 PM on December 07, 2003

Yep, that one point is making me feel all warm inside.

posted by squealy at 06:46 PM on December 07, 2003

Henry didn't play?!

posted by StarFucker at 08:30 PM on December 07, 2003

No, he didn't. And now, my Charlton Emulators have sadly followed the real Charlton down to #6. I should really change the name to Fulham Followers, or Fulham Fools, or Fulham Flyers, or Fulham Feckers ... or something.

posted by worldcup2002 at 01:11 AM on December 08, 2003

gspm didn't in fact have Seabisuit (Van Nistelrooy I presume) as captian. I had Henry and i noticed he was injured on saturday evening. too late. i suck. wasted chance and my first off the bench sub was no great star. still hanging around 4th or 5th though. relief.

posted by gspm at 01:12 AM on December 08, 2003

I can barely believe that this is the week that I swapped Martyn for Jaskelainen. After sticking with Seabiscuit all season I swapped him for Henry, 2 weeks ago, and didn't notice that Henry wasn't playing till it was too late to change. I finally put a Birmingham defender in as the whole season goes tits up. I think I'm going to cry.

posted by Fat Buddha at 02:34 AM on December 08, 2003

I've been swapping the captaincy between Henry and Shearer since I sold Seabiscuit (who was really fucking me off wasting the captaincy). Thankfully, I logged in after staggering back from the pub on Friday night and noticed the dreaded red mark against Henry's name. The rest is history, but only turned a bad week into a mediocre one. Still, I don't think it went too badly considering my top striker and Muzzy Izzet were both sidelined. In other news, thank god for that odious thug Alex Rae.

posted by squealy at 07:46 AM on December 08, 2003

Well, at least I moved up a slot in the yahoo league. From #11 to #10. I am really aiming high this season!

posted by worldcup2002 at 09:57 AM on December 08, 2003

I'm going to have to ride this one out until next week. I already transferred out a defender. Otherwise, I have to burn four points switching out Henry. And that would be costly since I'm only 19 pts short of #3 (and 8pts from #4!). The manager's dilemma.

posted by worldcup2002 at 10:03 AM on December 08, 2003

Does anyone know when Izzet is supposed to be back? What about Flitcroft? I've been holding them both for awhile with the dreaded Red insignia.

posted by Ufez Jones at 10:10 AM on December 08, 2003

about time. I've had a rough go the last little while...

posted by sauril at 11:10 AM on December 08, 2003

btw, I love how BC and I have the same # of points total, as well, and yet such different teams...

posted by sauril at 11:15 AM on December 08, 2003

Anyone know how long Henry is out?

posted by StarFucker at 11:39 AM on December 08, 2003

Izzet was only supposed to be suspended for this week for accumulation of yellows, and I'm surprised the red insignia is still there. Henry is doubtful for the CL game against Lokomotiv Moscow, and that's all I know about him.

posted by taupe at 11:56 AM on December 08, 2003

Physioroom says Henry has a thigh strain, "no return date." If he's still out next weekend, I'm going to have to drop him.

posted by worldcup2002 at 12:17 PM on December 08, 2003

My friend Pete the Arsenal fan reckons Henry was just being protected to ensure he was fit for the Lokomotiv game.

posted by squealy at 12:24 PM on December 08, 2003

Having said that, what does he know?

posted by squealy at 12:31 PM on December 08, 2003

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