November 03, 2003

EPL Fantasy League Week 11 (November) ends with a brace from Matt Holland (who none of us have), includes another brace from Henry (who a lot of us have) and a missed penalty by Alan Shearer (who I have, dammit), and sees corpse's 37 Push Ups take the week honors with 66. Fooker took the overall lead after Saturday, but Muzzy Izzet and Dean Kiely got it back for me. A really interesting Week 12 approaches. (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 05:42 PM - 69 comments

Right to it then:

Overall
   Team   Manager   T   G   R   P 
 1  I.C.B.I.N. Mucus   Danny The Taupe   15   39   2,505   556 
 2  Blammos!   Star Unsuitable   5   57   4,435   543 
 3  bluebears   andy griffiths   6   56   11,449   518 
 4  37 Push Ups   Corpse R. Christ   1   66   15,628   508 
 5  Crap City United   g s p m   9   60   20,960   498 
 6  F'd Off Dragons   F'd Off   16   60   23,430   494 
 7  Rings of Saturn   David Hansen   5   51   24,896   491 
 7  Ardley Athletic   Squealy Neily   17   38   25,223   491 
 9  Kwacky's Kwitters   richard looker   13   55   26,940   488 
 10  Terrapin Utd   Rick Scully   6   32   28,654   485 
 11  Mossy Athletic   Emad Mostaque   13   48   31,500   481 
 12  cutters   mbd1 mbd1   10   41   32,061   480 
 13  last again   eckeric eckeric   4   38   39,695   469 
 13  The Bog Bandits   Fat Buddha   21   44   40,137   469 
 15  Bosiak Bashers   joe bieda   17   38   43,906   464 
 16  Finally   Mark D   11   41   54,486   450 
 17  Salmacis FC   Huw Morris   8   36   57,366   446 
 18  Deadly Calm   Big Calm   10   46   60,556   442 
 19  vagabonds   christopher f   18   52   63,702   438 
 20  FC Cacahuate   skronk _   19   50   66,765   434 
 21  BillSaysThisSCORES!!   Bill Lazar   8   28   72,880   425 
 22  Sporting Goats   Eliot Shepard   0   36   75,983   420 
 23  SilentInTheMorning   pful ler   2   35   82,659   410 
 24  Generals F.C.   Noah Egorin   14   38   85,464   406 
 25  fascist bully boys   Ufez Jones   6   30   88,257   401 
 26  Atlanta Untitled   Tim Truxell   8   11   97,288   384 
 27  Nemo's Dreamers   lil nemo   14   44   103,558   370 
 28  Trendelmaniacs   t trendel   0   44   109,481   354 
 29  AVZ Thundering Herd   usf bull   5   46   112,174   347 
 30  tallclay   Clay H   13   55   115,667   337 
 
October
   Team   Manager   T   G   R   P 
 1  37 Push Ups   Corpse R. Christ   0   66   5,419   66 
 2  Crap City United   g s p m   0   60   16,218   60 
 2  F'd Off Dragons   F'd Off   1   60   18,621   60 
 4  Blammos!   Star Unsuitable   0   57   24,908   57 
 5  bluebears   andy griffiths   0   56   28,284   56 
 6  tallclay   Clay H   0   55   31,804   55 
 6  Kwacky's Kwitters   richard looker   1   55   35,223   55 
 8  vagabonds   christopher f   0   52   43,864   52 
 9  Rings of Saturn   David Hansen   0   51   48,237   51 
 10  FC Cacahuate   skronk _   0   50   52,880   50 
 11  Mossy Athletic   Emad Mostaque   1   48   67,344   48 
 12  Deadly Calm   Big Calm   0   46   72,987   46 
 12  AVZ Thundering Herd   usf bull   0   46   72,987   46 
 14  Trendelmaniacs   t trendel   0   44   83,818   44 
 14  Nemo's Dreamers   lil nemo   0   44   83,818   44 
 16  cutters   mbd1 mbd1   0   41   100,909   41 
 16  Finally   Mark D   0   41   100,909   41 
 18  I.C.B.I.N. Mucus   Danny The Taupe   1   39   118,066   39 
 19  last again   eckeric eckeric   0   38   118,546   38 
 19  Ardley Athletic   Squealy Neily   0   38   118,546   38 
 19  Bosiak Bashers   joe bieda   0   38   118,546   38 
 19  Generals F.C.   Noah Egorin   0   38   118,546   38 
 23  Salmacis FC   Huw Morris   0   36   130,120   36 
 23  Sporting Goats   Eliot Shepard   0   36   130,120   36 
 23  The Bog Bandits   Fat Buddha   3   44   135,683   36 
 26  SilentInTheMorning   pful ler   0   35   135,772   35 
 27  Terrapin Utd   Rick Scully   0   32   151,261   32 
 28  fascist bully boys   Ufez Jones   0   30   160,341   30 
 29  BillSaysThisSCORES!!   Bill Lazar   0   28   168,305   28 
 30  Atlanta Untitled   Tim Truxell   0   11   190,629   11 
And look at this slate for next week:
  Home  Away    
  Wolves  Birmingham  08 Nov 12:30 
  Arsenal  Tottenham  08 Nov 15:00 
  Aston Villa  Middlesbrough   08 Nov 15:00   
  Bolton  Southampton  08 Nov 15:00 
  Charlton  Fulham  08 Nov 15:00 
  Portsmouth   Leeds  08 Nov 15:00 
  Liverpool  Man. United  09 Nov 13:45 
  Man. City  Leicester  09 Nov 15:00 
  Chelsea  Newcastle  09 Nov 16:05 
  Blackburn  Everton  10 Nov 20:00 
Apart from the derby and LFC-MUFC, there's the two surprise sides of the season battling for sixth place, there's Chelsea-Newcastle, and there's a bunch of other unpredictable games. Bolton-Southampton and Portsmouth-Leeds are both troublesome calls.

posted by taupe at 05:59 PM on November 03, 2003

Gaah! "November", not "October". Time to change the template.

posted by taupe at 06:00 PM on November 03, 2003

Oh, it's still a brilliant table, taupe. I will have you know my F'd Off Dragons have moved into 6th from 10th overall in one week. That name change is doing us good. We're like the Charlton of the fantasy league! "We've tried to model ourselves on Charlton, they way they have done things, the way they have stayed in this division, the players they have bought and the way the manager goes about his job." (Actually, Birmingham manager Steve Bruce said that.)

posted by worldcup2002 at 09:00 PM on November 03, 2003

Where's lilnemo and his yahoo update? He kinda left us in the lurch last week. (Never mind that my team dropped two more places to #10 last week. We're still stuck there this week, but I may get some points from Hreidarrson cracking his head today.)

posted by worldcup2002 at 09:03 PM on November 03, 2003

Yahoo Update on the 'morrow wc2k2. You have my word.

posted by lilnemo at 09:17 PM on November 03, 2003

The only problem with saying that you want to emulate Charlton is that every bloody team coming from the first division says it, manages to limp in the premiership for one or two seasons and then get relegated. Sadly, Birmingham City don't seem to be living up to this expectation of mine.

posted by BigCalm at 04:00 AM on November 04, 2003

I'm thinking of changing my team name to The Muppets.

posted by squealy at 06:22 AM on November 04, 2003

But I really am trying to emulate Charlton. Is that so wrong? Meanwhile, I'm wondering what other dumb-ass name I can give my team so we can move into the top three. Myassis Dragons? The Welcome Dragons? Hahahahaha.

posted by worldcup2002 at 09:58 AM on November 04, 2003

The problem with managers saying that they want to emulate Charlton, is that almost invariably they then proceed to get beaten by Charlton, and then are relegated the following season. Here's hoping eh? FB? Squealy?

posted by BigCalm at 10:54 AM on November 04, 2003

You know I'm kidding right? Guys? FB? Calmy? squealy? Muppets?

posted by worldcup2002 at 11:48 AM on November 04, 2003

I seem to be trying to emulate Claudio Ranieri. Not Chelsea, and certainly not Abramovich, just Ranieri. I'm unhappy if the furniture in my house is in the same place three days in a row. I'm superstitiously attributing this last off-week to stopping the continual change of lineup, captain, team name and strip that had accompanied the previous good form. I may buy Anelka back.

posted by taupe at 01:04 PM on November 04, 2003

Damn, two players on my starting side were injuried and I didn't notice. That sucked :) I did better when I was on vacation ;)

posted by scully at 02:13 PM on November 04, 2003

I'm a winner!

posted by corpse at 02:54 PM on November 04, 2003

Oh my! I'm drifting toward the relegation zone, and I can't seem to do much about it. Maybe I should change my team name to Leeds.

posted by trox at 09:07 AM on November 05, 2003

Man, we should have totally had a Champions League Fantasy League too! I watch the games and i keep thinking i am getting points!

posted by StarFucker at 09:28 AM on November 05, 2003

Hey! Has anyone gotten yahoo points for the Monday game? I'm waiting for Hreidarrson to get some points. I need them to get my #9 spot back from the Fooker. "Lowered Expectations ..."

posted by worldcup2002 at 11:05 AM on November 05, 2003

I had no one playing on Monday so....no.

posted by StarFucker at 11:30 AM on November 05, 2003

I wasn't asking you, Fooker. I'm glad you're not getting any more points this week. I need my #9 spot back! ;-)

posted by worldcup2002 at 01:20 PM on November 05, 2003

Fucker, did you watch ManUre-Rangers yesterday? I did, have to say that C. Ronaldo is really impressing me, though I felt he could have passed a little sooner on some of his longer runs. Great defense too--I don't think Timmy had one stop that even was even mildly difficult.

posted by billsaysthis at 01:35 PM on November 05, 2003

You asked, "anyone"... Am i not anyone? Yes bill, he impresses me too with his skills, speed... What keeps me from being impressed overall is his inability to stay on his feet. He falls over much too easily.

posted by StarFucker at 01:50 PM on November 05, 2003

Hermann should get ponts for being the most injured player ever. I have never seen such a chump; 5 stitches in a head wound and barely able to walk, he still carried on.

posted by Fat Buddha at 02:27 PM on November 05, 2003

Is that all thats wrong with him?

posted by StarFucker at 02:31 PM on November 05, 2003

I'm changing my yahoo team name. Maybe it will work the same wonders as it has for my premierleague.com team.

posted by worldcup2002 at 02:37 PM on November 05, 2003

Blammos! is already taken...

posted by StarFucker at 02:38 PM on November 05, 2003

I'm thinking the Head Wound Hermanators.

posted by worldcup2002 at 03:31 PM on November 05, 2003

Just saw today's CL scores: disappointing that Arses won and kept their 2nd round hopes alive but did you guys see that Monaco score? Damn, I thought Deportivo were better than that, but then again what do I know about either team.

posted by billsaysthis at 03:56 PM on November 05, 2003

HOLY SHIT!! What the hell happened there? Deportivo IS a better team than that...good lord!

posted by StarFucker at 04:13 PM on November 05, 2003

It's so difficult to resist making more than one transfer a week when your team is shite. I'm distracting myself with this old cartoon thingy. This is me btw. Who is you?

posted by squealy at 04:38 PM on November 05, 2003

All of those toons are too negative, where's Mr. So-Excited I Could Schvitz From Waiting?

posted by billsaysthis at 07:24 PM on November 05, 2003

Interesting that no CL team has 12 points after four matches. Must be one of those "on any given day" kind of things.

posted by billsaysthis at 07:25 PM on November 05, 2003

Deportivo have been playing shit in all competitions for about 6 weeks. Nevertheless they play a style that I would like to see Blues adopt, with quick passes to feet. You never see them play a high ball.

posted by Fat Buddha at 02:39 AM on November 06, 2003

bill, there IS an over excited fan...

posted by StarFucker at 09:24 AM on November 06, 2003

I need to look more closely, though I'd suggest that page could use some thumbnails rather than having to click through so many.

posted by billsaysthis at 11:22 AM on November 06, 2003

Still no fookin' points for Hreidarrson. Maybe if lilnemo posted the yahoo table, then they'd go ahead and update it. I'm getting the feeling that I'm being robbed. yahoo is craptastic!

posted by worldcup2002 at 11:26 AM on November 06, 2003

Are you sure Hreidarsson even played?

posted by StarFucker at 02:05 AM on November 07, 2003

Oh, he played sure enough.

posted by squealy at 03:01 AM on November 07, 2003

Wow. Was Clemence carrying a bat?

posted by worldcup2002 at 10:55 AM on November 07, 2003

It looked pretty innocuous to be fair. They both went up for a corner and the Hermanator headed Clem in the back of the head. It was just before half-time and he went off to get stiched up and came out for the second period with a huge bandage on his bonce. I think the commentator said he'd had seven stitches and Clem five. And they call footballers soft.

posted by squealy at 11:15 AM on November 07, 2003

I think you've just given me a new team name, squealy. Check it out on the yahoo.

posted by worldcup2002 at 11:45 AM on November 07, 2003

I can't access the Yahoo site. Let me guess - The Hermanators?

posted by squealy at 11:52 AM on November 07, 2003

Clemence wasn't such a big girls blouse about it though, he just carried on, no fuss, no oversized bandage.

posted by Fat Buddha at 12:59 PM on November 07, 2003

The Bandaged Bonces. btw, fellas, on another sporting note, this is absolutely brilliant: TROJAN GAMES. Check out video highlights of events such as Judo, Weightlifting and Precision Vaulting. I'm surprised the Brits among us haven't pointed this one out. Absolutely marvelous.

posted by worldcup2002 at 12:16 AM on November 08, 2003

WC: that site was posted to Mefi, if not here. Very funny stuff though.

posted by billsaysthis at 01:48 PM on November 08, 2003

What's MeFi? Hahahahaha. btw, my Charlton Emulators have now moved up to 4th overall, top for November. I know we have tomorrow and Monday left to play, but hey, take the sweetness where you may. Also, where's that lilnemo and his beautiful yahoo league table?

posted by worldcup2002 at 02:43 PM on November 08, 2003

I actually saw the Charlton v. Fulham (or, as I prefer to say just for the laughs, Addicks v. Cottagers) match on FSW this morning. Fulham never had it together, especially Boa Morte, though Charlton was hardly better in the first 65 or 70 minutes. Cottagers' win two weeks ago at ManUre is now seeming more and more like Cal's recent win over USC, just one of those days even the best teams have. And even though Addicks beat LFC earlier this season, they will not finish near the top without some improvement.

posted by billsaysthis at 04:41 PM on November 08, 2003

Bill, the premiership isn't as good as it likes to think it is, Charlton have an excellent chance of finishing in the top 6.

posted by Fat Buddha at 06:14 PM on November 08, 2003

LOL, FB. But then again, who is?

posted by billsaysthis at 07:54 PM on November 08, 2003

FB: After the disgrace today at Anfield, I am inclined to agree.

posted by billsaysthis at 12:24 PM on November 09, 2003

I watched that game on the box and thought Liverpool were a bit unlucky. I also watched Chelsea treat Newcastle the way a cat treats a half dead mouse. Impressive and scary.

posted by Fat Buddha at 03:10 PM on November 09, 2003

An analysis of the Deportivo Debacle

posted by Fat Buddha at 03:20 PM on November 09, 2003

We didn't get the Chelsea match, though from the score it probably would have been entertaining. But by disgrace I wasn't (only) referring to the Reds' play but to the two penalty kicks that supposedly world class referee didn't call. Especially the tackle on FSP.

posted by billsaysthis at 03:25 PM on November 09, 2003

What about this disgrace (or heartbreaker): "Murphy created a gilt-edged chance for Heskey in injury time, but the striker fell and managed only a faint connection, the ball slipping wide and and United were home and dry." I thought I'd post that before SF got to it. ;-) btw, my Charlton Emulators are truly living up to their name. I switched the name on a lark after we moved into #6 last week (just like Charlton). Now, we're #4, just like Charlton! This calls for a quote: "We're not getting carried away as it's not too long ago we were fourth-bottom. But it is very pleasing, especially with injuries meaning the team has changed so much. We've got a week off and this is the time to enjoy this. And we will enjoy it. It's fantastic but we know there's a long way to go." (actually, Charlton's Alan Curbishley said that.)

posted by worldcup2002 at 03:37 PM on November 09, 2003

Hey Brits, i bought some kippers this weekend in a can, what are they?

posted by StarFucker at 11:12 PM on November 09, 2003

They're kippers, see? And they come in a can. Stupid yanks...*muttermutter* :-)

posted by salmacis at 05:23 AM on November 10, 2003

It's becoming more and more clear that I haven't got the first fucking clue about football. Also that I'm a Jonah on goalkeepers. Not one clean sheet in 12 fucking weeks. I must sell Taylor to save my beloved Blues before all is lost.

posted by squealy at 08:42 AM on November 10, 2003

So will someone tell me what kippers are before i eat them? I'm a big fan of sardines, and these kippers were right there next to them, figured i would like them as well.

posted by StarFucker at 09:36 AM on November 10, 2003

As I said earlier they're smoked herrings. Now go eat them up like a good boy.

posted by squealy at 10:11 AM on November 10, 2003

Smoked herrings ay? Well, i'll let you know what i think of them.

posted by StarFucker at 11:13 AM on November 10, 2003

SpoFi: Score one for the kipper.

posted by worldcup2002 at 11:25 AM on November 10, 2003

That's awful wc2002. I've never had a kipper meself, they always looked a bit manky to me. Still, FB has built himself up into a fine figure of a man eating them, so they can't be all bad.

posted by squealy at 11:27 AM on November 10, 2003

Eh, wot? Manky? OK, you've got to explain that one. BrummyFilter: Manky, but not all that bad. Bostin, mate!

posted by worldcup2002 at 11:34 AM on November 10, 2003

Oh, I am utterly crushed. My Bandaged Bonces have dropped to 11th in the yahoo league. Horrible, horrible weekend, what with the Pool beaten by Man U. Bwaaaaaaaah. The only thing that can save the Bonces is hattricks today from Brett Emerton and Gary Naysmith. Hahahaha.

posted by worldcup2002 at 11:47 AM on November 10, 2003

Soon i will be on top of both leagues!

posted by StarFucker at 11:51 AM on November 10, 2003

Starfucker, kippers are a great and underated delicacy, lots of bones so you need big thick slices of crusty bread to help them down. The bread must be white and must be liberally spread with butter, not some chemical substitute. They are nothing like sardines. I would hesitate before having them out of a can, but I am bit snobby like that. Whatever you do, don't get stitched up like a kipper.

posted by Fat Buddha at 12:55 PM on November 10, 2003

Manky (and other colloquialisms).

posted by squealy at 01:01 PM on November 10, 2003

Where do you get sardines that aren't in a can?

posted by StarFucker at 01:49 PM on November 10, 2003

The island of Sardinia is composed entirely of sardines. It's manky, mate.

posted by worldcup2002 at 02:28 PM on November 10, 2003

British Accents 116 Old McHenry Rd Long Grove, IL 60047 847 913 0855 Try those buggers, Starfucker, old chap. I claim Squealy's crap goalie mantle. I introduced Martyn into my team last week and he has conceded 2 in the first 12 minutes against the previously impotent Blackburn. That's not quite as inspired as dropping Crespo for Shearer though, as I did last week in the Yahoo league.

posted by Fat Buddha at 03:06 PM on November 10, 2003

Radzinski has scored. Game on!

posted by worldcup2002 at 03:09 PM on November 10, 2003

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