September 16, 2004

I'm not gay: Ian Thorpe comes out. That'll stop the rumours, then.

posted by owlhouse to culture at 03:21 AM - 10 comments

Never mind gay... let's hear him deny that he's the result of a freaky experiment to crossbreed a man and a shark! Look at those TEETH!

posted by JJ at 06:20 AM on September 16, 2004

Did he bring a hot girlfriend? Because that's Jeff Garcia's recipe, and I think it's working. (you'll need bugmenot and it's down right now)

posted by yerfatma at 08:02 AM on September 16, 2004

I'm still in shock over hearing about Garcia's lady the other day. [comforts ego] But you know what they say about women liking gay men. [/comforts ego]

posted by garfield at 08:35 AM on September 16, 2004

yerfatma, is "Peter Schmuck" the worst pseudonym ever, or what?

posted by chicobangs at 10:12 AM on September 16, 2004

Where's Paris Hilton and her strange little video camera when we need her?

posted by billsaysthis at 11:35 AM on September 16, 2004

Hehe, Peter Schmuck is so bad it probably has to be his real name. If it is his real name, don't mess with him. You just know a guy named Peter Schmuck got in a fight or two growing up. If it is a pseudonym, it is most apropos for just about every local sportswriter I can think of. They should all have to adopt this or some variation of it for their bylines. I like Thorpe's denial...wonder if it came off as level headed and belittling as it appears on the article. I especially liked the I'll-answer-but-you're-a-dickhead-for-asking vibe he came off with.

posted by pivo at 12:09 PM on September 16, 2004

Well thank God. I can't possibly root for someone who's bedroom antics don't resemble mine in the least despite never being in a position to confirm, deny, or be affected in any way by them. Besides, anyone who asks you if you're gay is clearly hitting on you. You should respond as such.

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 05:36 PM on September 16, 2004

I can't possibly root for someone who's bedroom antics don't resemble mine Thanks for that. Hell, I can't in good conscience root for someone who's antics resemble mine.

posted by yerfatma at 05:48 PM on September 16, 2004

So, I'm glad this has been settled, then.

posted by rocketman at 06:48 AM on September 17, 2004

(We're so wry)

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 04:20 PM on September 17, 2004

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