November 02, 2007

The Hoser's NFL Picks, Week Nine 2007: NFL picks that didn't know ships were still being hijacked by pirates.

Welcome to Week Nine of the 2007 edition of The Hoser's NFL Picks, where if momentum were cream cheese, we’d need the whole Lender's factory.

Just like bankruptcy court in the 90s, Week Eight was Hammer Time for The Hoser. For the second straight week, we picked up 10 wins against the spread (10-3, to be exact) and were 11-2 straight up. Our New England Lock scored again, and we finally picked our own upsets and hit the Trifecta. We’d love to brag about how readers could have picked up a tidy $1,370 across the board last week – except if you had been following us every week, you’d already be broke.

Sorry about that.

Remember – these picks are just for fun. Using them to wager money is advisable as having Dog The Bounty Hunter handle your company’s sensitivity training.

Washington (-3.5) at New York Jets – O/U 36: Think Joe Gibbs wishes he’d stuck to NASCAR yet? Redskins 24, Jets 20.

Green Bay (+2) at KANSAS CITY – O/U 38.5: We know Arrowhead’s good for at least a field goal, but c’mon – this is a Chiefs team that hammered Oakland last week by a stunning two points. Packers 20, Chiefs 14.

Arizona (+3.5) at Tampa Bay – O/U 36.5: The loser here takes a huge step backward from the playoff picture. The winner will do the same within a couple of weeks. Buccaneers 20, Cardinals 17.

San Francisco (+3) at Atlanta – O/U 37: Hmm, home team gets three points normally, the total is 37 … Danny Sheridan must think these two teams suck equally, and we couldn’t agree more. 49ers 17, Falcons 16.

Jacksonville (+3.5) at NEW ORLEANS – O/U 40: The Saints have gotten healthy against some real creampuffs, but we still like them to handle Quinn Gray, Medicine Quarterback. Saints 24, Jaguars 17.

Denver (+3) at DETROIT – O/U 46: One of The Hoser’s staff writers came to our Halloween party in a big Massengill box. He was almost disqualified from our football-themed costume contest until he explained he was dressed as Jon Kitna. Lions 27, Broncos 23.

Cincinnati (PK) at BUFFALO – O/U 43.5: The Bengals pick ‘em with the Bills? Man, we bet even Nick Lachey is off the bandwagon by now. Bengals 23, Bills 19.

San Diego (-7) at MINNESOTA – O/U 41: We hear Jeff George contacted the Vikings this week about a return to the NFL. Minnesota could use his arm, but you’d rather have an open septic tank in your locker room. Chargers 29, Vikings 16.

Seattle (+2) at CLEVELAND – O/U 47: How is our fantasy team doing? Well, somewhere around Week Two, we cut Derek Anderson – and kept Charlie Frye. Browns 28, Seahawks 23.

New England (-4.5) at INDIANAPOLIS – O/U 56: Folks, this is the greatest team of all time we’re watching here. The Colts are an obstacle, but in the same fashion a parking bump would be to Bigfoot. We’d bet the Pats if the line was two touchdowns. Patriots 37, Colts 20.

Houston (+3) at OAKLAND – O/U 42: Al Gore will be on hand to honor both teams for their outstanding efforts in recycling quarterbacks. Then he’ll claim he invented the forward pass. Raiders 23, Texans 19.

Dallas (-3) at PHILADELPHIA – O/U 46: Andy Reid is 12-4 against the Cowboys. The Eagles are 20-8 against the NFC East in November and December. And we just don’t think Dallas is really that great. Eagles 27, Cowboys 24.

Baltimore (+8.5) at PITTSBURGH – O/U 36.5: The Ravens are rested and healthier after their bye week. That will allow them to only get dumped by Pittsburgh by a touchdown. Steelers 22, Ravens 14.

Lock of the Week: New England

Trifecta: New England, Philadelphia, Cleveland

Over/Under Good Buys: Green Bay/Kansas City Under

Final Week Eight results:

ATS: 10-3

SU: 11-2

Lock of the Week: 1-0

Trifecta: 1-0

The Money Game: +$1370

For the season:

ATS: 62-48-5

SU: 79-37

Lock of the Week: 3-5

Trifecta: 1-7

The Money Game: $-580

posted by wfrazerjr to commentary at 06:18 AM - 0 comments