October 25, 2007

The Hoser's NFL Picks, Week Eight 2007: NFL picks that went 10-4 ATS last week -- and won money at a freaking casino.

Welcome to Week Eight of the 2007 edition of The Hoser's NFL Picks, where, much like George and Weezie, we're movin' on up.

The Hoser had his best week in many moons in Week Seven, piling up a sparkling 10-4 mark against the spread and going 12-2 straight up. We even got the Lock, although for some stupid reason we ignored our own upset specials and blew the Trifecta yet again. Still, we could crow about going from the penthouse to the outhouse – except that seven games over .500 and a 2-5 Lock record still makes it stink a little around here.

We’ve added the over/under here for informational purposes only, perhaps to save you, gentle reader, from having to look it up yourself. I’ll occasionally throw in what I think is something solid to parlay, but don’t start busting my balls if we go 1-13 on the O/U when you add up my guesses at the score – those things are about as scientific as Creationism.

Remember – these picks are just for fun. Using them to wager money is advisable as getting directions from Jim Marshall.

Cleveland (-3) at ST. LOUIS -- O/U 44: Do you think the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers are sitting around with champagne chilled, waiting for this edition of the Rams to join them? Browns 26, Rams 16.

Detroit (+5) at CHICAGO -- O/U 43.5: If you’d asked us three weeks ago if Brian Griese was the answer, we wouldn’t have been able to guess the question. Bears 28, Lions 20.

Indianapolis (-6.5) at CAROLINA -- O/U 44: This line was reversed on Danny Sheridan's USA Today odds and we almost put up the house. If we had and lost, could we have crashed at your place? We would have brought the Keystone Light. Colts 27, Panthers 19.

N.Y. Giants (-9) at MIAMI -- O/U 48.5: It may be across the pond, but the Dolphins will still play like spotted dick. Giants 29, Dolphins 21.

Oakland (+7.5) at TENNESSEE -- O/U 41: Fun fact – Colorado Rockies first baseman Todd Helton was Peyton Manning’s back-up at the University of Tennessee. Helton could step in this week and still beat the Raiders. Titans 27, Raiders 16.

Philadelphia (-1) at MINNESOTA -- O/U 38: Despite a 2-4 start, Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie gave head coach Andy Reid a vote of confidence this week. Also passing around a petition to keep Reid at the helm – local donut shop owners. Eagles 16, Vikings 13.

Pittsburgh (-3.5) at CINCINNATI -- O/U 48.5: We’d be more concerned about the fate of the Steelers if the Bengals actually had a defense. Steelers 34, Bengals 24.

Buffalo (+3) at N.Y. JETS -- O/U 37: Chad Pennington keeps his starting job again this week. And you thought re-electing Bush was a dumb decision. Bills 22, Jets 16.

Houston (+9.5) at SAN DIEGO – O/U 45: If Dr. Suess were writing this, he'd say, "SD would cover in Qualcomm! SD would cover in Vietnam!” Then he’d make up three words and get richer. Chargers 30, Texans 14. Ed. Note: Most books do not have a line for this game due to injuries. The Hoser’s staff averaged the two they found, which entailed us purchasing a new computer, graph paper and the sacking of our entire statistical analysis department.

Jacksonville (+4) at TAMPA BAY 4 -- U/O 32: Expect more scoring at your local convent. Bucs 19, Jaguars 14.

New Orleans (-2.5) at SAN FRANCISCO -- O/U 41: It looks like 49ers QB Alex Smith might return from injury earlier than expected. Whoopee. Saints 24, 49ers 17.

Washington (+16) at NEW ENGLAND -- O/U 48: Why can't it be eight weeks covering? Oh, and considering the Pats are averaging almost 40 a game, can we throw the Skins a touchdown and a field goal for the cover? Patriots 38, Redskins 20.

Green Bay (+3) at DENVER -- O/U 41.5: This pick assumes Brett Favre throws into triple coverage fewer than five times. We know – big assumption. Packers 23, Broncos 21.

Lock of the Week: New England

Trifecta: New England, Buffalo, Cleveland

Over/Under Good Buys: NE/WASH Over

Week Seven results:

ATS: 10-4

SU: 12-2

Lock of the Week: 1-0

Trifecta: 0-1

The Money Game: +$840

For the season:

ATS: 52-45-5

SU: 68-35

Lock of the Week: 2-5

Trifecta: 0-7

The Money Game: $-1,950

posted by wfrazerjr to commentary at 09:56 PM - 0 comments