February 02, 2007

The Hoser's NFL Picks, Super Bowl Time: NFL picks that have already put on the Ro-Tel and Velveeta dip.

Welcome to Week Four of The Hoser's Postseason NFL Picks, where we’re wondering what we can get for advertising dough for our belly, which is much larger than any silly pregnant woman’s. I actually think we can fit the entire Budweiser creed on this bad boy.

This two-week layoff has sucked. We’ve made good use of the time, though, hanging out with our 10-month-old daughter. In fact, she said her first word. Plain as day, she pointed at our card and said, “Parlay!” It’s enough to make a hoser bust his suspenders.

We enjoyed the normal fawning and preening that is Media Week, but someone needs to slap Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher upside his head. Urlacher said Chicago could handle being the underdog in the Super Bowl because they had been underdogs all season. This despite the Bears being favoured in 14 of the 18 games they played this year. Hey, if you need more incentive to win, why not just make it up?

Of course, the Super Bowl is being broadcast in just about every language on Earth again this year. We were wondering what language would sound the funniest, but then we had a better idea – someone trying to translate John Madden in to Chinese. You could get a hernia attempting that.

Remember – these picks are just for fun. Using them to wager money is advisable as sending your daughter to the Super Bowl and having her sit next to Joe Namath.

Indianapolis vs. Chicago (+7) (Over/Under 48.5): We’ve obviously got just the one pick to make this week, so we won’t beat it to death. Despite our long-standing hatred of all things Peyton, we’re giving Indy the nod to win the game. The Colts have come too far this season to be turned back now, and our faith in Rex Grossman runs about as deep as Nick Saban’s loyalty.

We don’t expect, however, for Indianapolis to run away with the game. Chicago still has the ability to pound the ball with Thomas Jones and Cedric Benson (the best Windy City duo since Jake and Elwood), and the Bears’ defense isn’t going to give up a load of points.

Look for the Colts to build up a 10-point lead headed into the late stages of the contest, and then Grossman to air it out and hit a strike to make the cover. Still, it will be Indy up on the podium and The Hoser gnashing his teeth while wondering what Jamie Whited thinks of it all. Indianapolis 28, Chicago 25.

Week Three Postseason:

1-1 ATS

1-1 O/U

1-1 SU

1-0 LOTW

+$480

Postseason So Far:

4-6 ATS

1-1 O/U

5-5 SU

1-1 LOTW

+$240

Final Season Stats:

129-123-3 ATS

156-99 SU

7-10 Lock

2-15 Trifecta

-$2,750

posted by wfrazerjr to commentary at 08:26 PM - 0 comments