January 19, 2007

The Hoser's NFL Picks, Postseason Week Three: NFL picks that like the Saints, but pray for Tom Benson to stay the hell off the field.

Welcome to Week Three of The Hoser's Postseason NFL Picks, where we’re still wondering when Nate Kaeding will run up and kick Marty Schottenheimer square in the nuts.

Like many of you, The Hoser felt the defining moment of the weekend was Marty’s challenge flag on what clearly was a fumble. Sure, it’s not necessarily Schottenheimer’s fault he got bad advice, but he hired those dudes up there. It’s hard not to feel like your team is doomed if Marty roams the sidelines for you in the postseason. It’s like being the hot chick in a slasher flick – you know it’s going to turn out badly, but you don’t know which stupid decision will seal your fate.

Anyway, we’re adding the over/under for these two games just because The Hoser wants another area in which to fall short in his prognostications. And remember – these picks are just for fun. Using them to wager money is advisable as asking Michael Vick to grab you a bottle of water for the trip.

New Orleans @ CHICAGO (-2.5): We’re not going to give you a weather forecast or worry about the field conditions in Chicago. This game comes down to a faltering defense and firepower.

The Bears have given up an average of nearly 26 points in their last five games, including 26 to Green Bay and 31 to Tampa Bay. Tampa Bay! That’s like Team Italia giving up seven or eight goals to Liberia.

Now add a juiced Saints squad with two world-class RBs, a confident and athletic QB and more wide receivers than the shower room on “Oz” and you have the makings of an upset. New Orleans will give up some points and make the over at 43.5 easily reachable, and anyhow, how can you back a team whose sexiest player is its punter? New Orleans 29, Chicago 22.

New England @ INDIANAPOLIS (-3): Do you smell that, folks? No, not the Spam frying in The Hoser’s kitchen. It’s destiny, and strangely enough, it’s wafting over from the Indianapolis sideline.

We know, we know – everyone’s thinking Bill Belichick has Peyton Manning’s number. They’re right, but it finally doesn’t matter. Peyton could continue to play like he’s, oh, Eli Manning, and the Colts’ stiffened defense will do enough to give the Colts a trip to Miami.

Meanwhile, it took a gauntlet of mistakes and idiocy from San Diego to get the Patriots this far. Tom Brady looked as human as he ever has, and New England managed a whopping 51 yards on the ground. That ground-game dysfunction combined with Indy's newfound stinginess also makes us like the under at 48. Indianapolis 24, New England 20.

Lock of the Week: NO/Chicago Over

Week Two Postseason:

1-3 ATS

2-2 SU

0-1 LOTW

-$720

Postseason So Far:

3-5 ATS

4-4 SU

1-1 LOTW

-$240

Final Season Stats:

129-123-3 ATS

156-99 SU

7-10 Lock

2-15 Trifecta

-$2,750

posted by wfrazerjr to commentary at 01:14 PM - 0 comments