12/21/24
December 08, 2006
The Hoser's NFL Picks, Week Fourteen.: NFL picks that just can't get into "Grey's Anatomy."
Welcome to Week Fourteen of The Hoser's NFL Picks, where if you round up, we were average.
The Hoser went 7-8-1 against the spread and 10-6 straight up, although we did hit our second consecutive Lock of the Week. We tried to get Danny Sheridan to give us the odds on that happening, but he just wired back two words – “No Line.”
It’s Handicapping Haiku Week here at The Hoser, where we’re nothing if not literate and urbane. We would have done this earlier, but most of our staffers thought “haiku” was a children’s beverage.
Remember -- these picks are just for fun. Using them to wager money is advisable as having Wesley Snipes do your taxes.
Editor’s Note: I already blew the Pittsburgh-Cleveland game on Thursday.
Baltimore @ KANSAS CITY (-3):
The Chiefs were handled
by the lowly Clevelanders.
Somewhere, Vermeil cries.
Ravens 19, Chiefs 16.
Atlanta @ TAMPA BAY (+3):
With mobility
and grace, Tampa fans, Vick will
stick it up your Bucs.
Falcons 29, Buccaneers 17.
Minnesota @ DETROIT (-1):
The Lions showed some life,
making the Patriots work.
Millen’s still an ass.
Lions 24, Vikings 21.
Tennessee @ HOUSTON (PK):
Who hits from 60?
Cue up The Knack parody --
it’s “My Bironas!”
Titans 23, Texans 14.
N.Y. Giants @ CAROLINA (-2.5):
Which gap is bigger --
the one between Strahan’s teeth,
or in his judgement?
Giants 23, Panthers 19.
New Orleans @ DALLAS (-7):
If Dallas decides
to roof its field, would it be
The RomoDomo?
Cowboys 27, Saints 21.
Buffalo @ NY JETS (-3.5):
To be honest, I’d
prefer old “Buffalo Bill”
with Dabney Coleman.
Jets 23, Bills 19.
Indianapolis @ JACKSONVILLE (-1):
With Garrard’s fine play,
in the Jaguars’ future, could
Leftwich be Leftout?
Colts 30, Jaguars 21.
Philadelphia @ WASHINGTON (-1):
With D-backs healthy,
Philly’s defense could be a
fly in Campbell’s soup.
Eagles 22, Redskins 20.
Oakland @ CINCINNATI (-11):
The Raiders will fold
faster than Tim Krumrie’s leg
in the Super Bowl.
Bengals 31, Raiders 13.
New England @ MIAMI (+3.5):
FG’s shower scene
shows Tom digs Peter’s manboobs
over Tara’s rack.
Patriots 27, Dolphins 23.
Green Bay @ SAN FRANCISCO (-4.5):
He’s hurt – no, he’s fine.
The streak will roll – no, it won’t.
Retire already!
49ers 26, Packers 21.
Seattle @ ARIZONA (+3):
Denny Green’s outbursts
make me think it’s like having
Joan Crawford on staff.
Cardinals 26, Seahawks 24.
Denver @ SAN DIEGO (-7.5):
By the time I write
this little poem on the game,
LT will have scored.
Chargers 33, Broncos 17.
Chicago @ ST. LOUIS (+6):
On the backs of milk
cartons throughout St. Louis:
Have you seen Torry?
Bears 17, Rams 16.
Lock of the Week: Indianapolis
Trifecta: Indianapolis, San Francisco, Tennessee
Week Thirteen:
7-8-1 ATS
10-6 SU
1-0 LOTW
0-1 Trifecta
+$150
Overall:
88-100-3 ATS
121-70 SU
4-9 Lock
1-12 Trifecta
-$5,310
posted by wfrazerjr to commentary at 02:05 PM - 0 comments