January 20, 2003

EPL REPORT WEEK 23: Liverpool win! Heskey scores! [more inside]

posted by worldcup2002 to soccer at 11:07 AM - 5 comments

Umm...

posted by StarFucker at 11:23 AM on January 20, 2003

This must have been a surreal weekend for StarFucker. With our favorite team Liverpool recording it's first EPL win in 12 games, 1-0 away to Southampton, this was time for celebration. But celebration no doubt tempered by the fact that the winning goal was scored by none other than Emile Heskey, SF's favorite whipping boy, who was breaking a record of sorts by scoring his first goal in three months. Gerard Houllier, SF's favorite manager, even made the Team of the Week. (Hey, at least he started Riise, SF.) Nevertheless, three points it was, taking Liverpool one spot up to sixth, and in the running for a Champions League place. It also kicked off a crucial three-game spell for Liverpool in three competitions: Worthington Cup semifinal second leg vs Sheffield Utd; FA Cup fourth round tie vs Crystal Palace; then a Premiership clash with league leaders Arsenal. Speaking of Arsenal, they won 3-1 at home to West Ham, thanks to a hattrick from Thierry Henry. And an elbow from Dennis Bergkamp on unlikely victim Lee "Head-stamper" Bowyer. The Hammers are back at the bottom after scrabbling up a place last week. Second-placed Man Utd kept up the pressure with a 2-1 win over Chelsea, thanks to a heartbreaker in stoppage time from that man Forlan. Chelsea also dropped a place to fourth, and were replaced at third by ... Newcastle, who continued their winning ways with a solid 2-0 victory over Man City, Alan Shearer coming back from suspension to score a goal in the 10th second. Everton, Liverpool's city neighbors, stayed one place above the Reds with a 2-1 win over Sunderland, bouyed by two goals from newcomer American Brian "Heartwarmer" McBride, who donates $100 for every goal scored and match won to the Central Ohio Diabetes Association (CODA). That's $400 for the three goals and one win he's collected since starting just last week for Everton. Other stuff:

posted by worldcup2002 at 11:50 AM on January 20, 2003

Great report. By the way, both of McBride's goals were fucking awesome! Are you sure you aren't talking about McBride's bicycle? It wasn't a rocket or anything, but it still went in! And yes, i was completely fucked over by Heskey scoring...now all the idiots on the Liverpoolfc site are going to claim he is a god because he scores twice a year...

posted by StarFucker at 02:16 PM on January 20, 2003

Well, I didn't see the game, but from all the articles I read, it was Riise who made the difference, delivering killer crosses as well as the freekick from which Heskey scored. Heskey still shanked a few, too. Houllier is finally listening to us, SF: He's starting Riise, getting more width by playing Diouf on the wing, and attacking. C'mon, what's not to like? OK, aside from Michael "The Gambler" Owen missing goals like Heskey. Let's see if they can keep up the good work this week: Sheffield Utd tomorrow, Crystal Palace on Sunday, Arsenal the following Wednesday. btw, I just realized that this report was premature: There are still two games to play in Week 23, Wednesday's games featuring Charlton v West Ham and Newcastle v Bolton. OK, maybe it doesn't matter. ;-) (Except for our fantasy league.)

posted by worldcup2002 at 02:47 PM on January 20, 2003

Why is the comments link so large?!

posted by StarFucker at 04:28 PM on January 21, 2003

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