June 22, 2006

Dwyane Wade and Fouls: Check this out. A friend of mine sent me this in an email and its just one of the funniest things I've read about. Read it and then comment. Its quite funny.

Top 10 Urban Myths (originated by me) of how Dwyane Wade has gotten fouls called in the past: 10. One day, Dwyane Wade went to the airport to buy a ticket, the clerk asked Dwyane Wade if he wanted "Coach, Business, or First Class", Dwyane Wade gave her a lifted eyebrow and they called a foul on the clerk, because everyone knows Dwyane Wade is first class. 9. On February 30th, 1998 Dwyane Wade was playing a high school basketball game against his school's arch enemies. In that game, Dwyane Wade went 25 of 45 from the free throw line. This was his worst free throw shooting performance of his career. For this reason, the Men in Black showed up, proceeded to neuralize everyone so that they forgot that night. Will Smith then talked to the school's officials, who asked him what happenned on the night of February 30th, 1994 as the official score sheet showed no proof of any game or stats. Will Smith then told the school and the whole world that February 30th did not even happen, that the day was to be erased from the history of the world. That is why today, February has only 29 days, and only I knew the truth as to why. 8. When Dwyane was learning how to ride a bike, he fell and scraped his knee, a flagrant foul was immediately assessed to the concrete. (It is also said that Dwyane Wade's blood stain has burnt a hole in the concrete now creating a pothole that we have yet to fill to this day) 7. When Dwyane Wade was a child, he got in trouble for shoplifting. His mother preceded to spank Dwyane Wade with her hand as hard as possible, as her hands continued to make contact to Dwyane's face, her skin began to melt. She was soon assessed with a foul, and to this day, Dwyane's mother has not dared to touch her own son. 6. One day Dwyane Wade was walking in the woods, a little girl in a red hood carrying a basket of cookies approached Dwyane and asked him, "Sir, do you know the way to Grandma's house?" Dwyane said, "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM BITCH!?!" He then pushed her off with his arm, stepped back, shot a fadeaway, and got a 2 and a foul...after years of folklore and story telling this true story has now been changed and kids know it today as "Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf" 5. When Dwyane Wade was getting his driver's license, he was filling out the form and it asked for "Date of Birth", Dwyane Wade was confused, so he asked the clerk what date of birth meant. She then said, "What day were you born?" Dwyane Wade gave her a very disturbing look, slapped her on the face. She then immediately realized her error. Dwyane Wade is the only person who's "date of birth" on his driver's license says "immortal." The DMV issued the woman with a foul. 4. Soon after Jesus died, a meeting was held to decide on what Jesus's true identity in religion was, holidays in Christianity, all sorts of things to organize the religion. The Church decided that Jesus was the son of God, Mary the mother, and the Bible was compiled. Dwyane Wade then protested saying, "Wait a minute, where am I in the Bible?" The Church flustered, began to sweat, and decided on how to put Dwyane Wade in the Bible, today Christians believe in the Trinity: "The Son, the father, and the holy ghost"...guess who the holy ghost is.... that's right.... DWade, the catholic church was assessed with a foul, they were forced to be confined to the Vatican, and their priests unallowed to reproduce. 3. One day the executives at Enron were having a discussion on basketball. They were all talking about the best players in the game. The CEO said that Lebron James is the best player, the President said that Michael Jordan was, and some others continued to chime in bringing in the likes of Steve Nash and Kobe Bryant to the mix. The janitor who overheard the conversation, looked on in horror as they continued to talk about basketball greats without even once mentioning Dwyane Wade. Two hours later, Enron's stocks were valued at 6 cents a share, 100% of its workers were laid off, and not one of those CEO's are alive to see this day. And there was not one foul issued, DWade's power comes in many ways... 2. As Dwyane stepped out of the locker room one night from the Staples Center, he saw Chuck Norris. The 2 superpowers made eye contact and collided. Chuck Norris and DWade were face to face, Dwyane said to Chuck Norris, "you know you can't touch me..." Chuck Norris laughed, roundhouse kicked DWade, DWade ironically landed straight at the free throw line, a referee charged Chuck Norris with a foul, Chuck Norris laughed, preceded to eat the referee. Dwade liked Chuck's style, so he got him a TV gig as a crime fighting cowboy Walker: Texas Ranger, the highest rated TV show in history. 1. One day, Dwyane Wade killed a man. He then went to court for his trial. The jury reached a unanimous verdict. The man Dwyane killed was charged with a foul, suspended for 3 games, and DWade got 2 free throws. The prosecuting lawyer stood up in court, and said "YOUR HONOR, I OBJECT!" The judge looked in extreme anger at this lawyer, and said "NOBODY OBJECTS TO DWADE!!!" Dwyane then killed the lawyer in open court, the crowd cheered, Dwyane shot his two free throws, and left the court. Trademark of Ksolo

posted by chemwizBsquared to at 03:10 PM - 0 comments

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