12/22/24
February 16, 2006
z: Ski Jumping
How many beers would it take for me to ski jump? Let's see, it would take three for me to agree to wear the outfit. Six for me to climb the stairs. Add two more and I'd agree to strap on nine foot skis and...well, by that time I'd be wondering how I was going to get out of the suit in time to take a leak. I am simply afraid of heights. Climbing into certain SUV's makes me nervous. This petrifies me. There is no amount of liquid courage that would enable me to ski jump. I doubt that I could even watch this sport in person. That said, I can also imagine that it must be awe-inspiring to witness. After approaching speeds of nearly 100 kilometers per hour, the jumpers lurch forward and take flight. Six seconds and well over One Hundred meters later, they touch down and of all things, do a snowplow to slow down. They are judged on distance and style. There is what is called the 'K' point, which is basically the anticipated distance one might achieve. The 'K' point for the Large Hill competition is 120 meters. If a jumper hits the 'K' point they are awarded 60 points plus an additional 1.8 points for each meter past the 'K' point. If a jumper falls short of the 'K' point, they are penalized 1.8 points, for each meter they were short. Style points are awarded for take off, flight and seemingly most important, a nice landing. Each jumper gets two jumps and the combined scores are added together. In the team competition, there are four jumpers with each jumping twice. Every jump is counted and combined together for the team score. Unfortunately, the first part of this competition has already taken place. The Normal Hill competition took place last weekend. It is my impression that this was considered a mere warm up for this weekend's Large Hill individual and team events. The favorites for these events can be found here. I believe that one must be certifiable to willfully go straight down a hill that you know is simply going to spit you into the air at 100 Kph. My test for how insane an activity may be is simply based upon how many beers it would take for me to attempt it. Ski Jumping? There simply isn't enough beer in the world. Although it is obvious that I know very little about this sport, I will be watching. I will be firmly planted roughly two and a half feet off the ground. I will be going zero kilometers per hour and I will have no chance of crash landing. While I have learned that watching this sport does not require beer consumption, if you happen to have two or three, put on some goggles and frequently shout, "Up, Up and away...!" Well, then you are virtually guaranteed to have some fun watching those "crazy" guys, beautifully defy gravity. I SUBMIT THIS ONLY FOR PROOF THAT I TRIED. I originally typed this on another computer, saved it to a thumb drive, thinking I could copy and paste. Well, different versions of software were my downfall, didn't even allow me to try that. However, please help me here. When submitting a column, do you type it first as a post? I retyped as a column, but I was unable to link anything or even create paragraphs. This sucked anyways, but I told JJ I would help out. AGAIN, if you could inform me as to what my dumbass did wrong, I would appreciate it. Thank you.
posted by tselson to at 11:18 PM - 0 comments