December 09, 2005

Goodbye Brass Bonanza: It's been 9 years since the Whalers left Hartford. Sometimes history repeats itself.

Brass Bonanza always held a special place in my heart. Mainly because it meant "The Whale" just scored. It only got better when EA Sports had the good sense to use it in the old Genesis version of NHL Hockey (I think it was NHLPA 93...the one with the blood). When the guy who wrote the song found out it had that kind of heavy rotation, I'm pretty sure he held it for ransom because I remember the Whalers stopped using it and moved to an awful horn that had no character. I couldn't tell you if they played Brass Bonanza on the night of April 13, 1997 though. The Whalers scored twice and beat the Lightning in their final game, but Brass Bonanza was already as good as dead. NHL hockey and I really haven't talked since.

I'm thinking about Brass Bonanza now. I'm thinking about it so much, that if one of my friends who still has a Genesis and a copy of NHL was available, I'd probably call them up for a game. But, me thinking about Brass Bonanza actually has nothing to do with the NHL or the Whalers at all. It got me thinking about the Florida Marlins and the Boston Red Sox.

(That's right hockey fans, you just got punk'd)

This winter Florida sold out their fans and their young superstars with a fire sale, the likes of which hasn't been seen and could only be topped by moving the team to Mexico City. It'd be one thing if the Marlins traded all their palers and moved to Vegas, who wouldn't want that? Heck, I used to want to go to Expos games, simply because it was an excuse for a trip to Montreal. If the Marlins moved to Vegas I'd buy a partial season ticket package, JetBlue has $99 flights. I don't exactly think that's happening though.

So, here's Marlins ownership holding open the doors to the dealership and asking every cowboy who walks by if they're interested in anything.

Yee-haw! Everything must go! No deal is a bad deal make us any offer and we'll consider it. We're moving talent for pennies, hopes, and dreams! Try our ring toss. Hit the center ring and we'll throw in a free prize.*

Josh Beckett, Juan Pierre, Carlos Delgado, Mike Lowell, they're all up for dealing. So come on in to Pro Player Stadium, now through Christmas. Santa Claus himself can't make dreams come true like we can.

(*actual value limited, value equal to or no greater than Guillermo Mota)

Hey Miguel Cabrera and Dontrell Willis! You're the crafty veterans now. Make sure you tell the new guys what life in "the bigs" used to be like.

Then there's the team you either love or hate. That band of lovable idiots who defied all the odds and won a World Series, the Boston Red Sox. Their off-season has been similarly earth shaking. They started the off-season by making a public relations gaffe, so great it made their previous examples seem like good ideas. Theo Epstein left Fenway Park behind in a gorilla suit. The fan base was livid. For a couple of weeks, email chains like this picked up steam....

That Larry Lucchino is a rat. We should each get a hockey stick, drive down there and beat the crap out of him. He can't stay inside forever.

They traded number one prospect, Hanley Ramirez,for Josh Beckett, Mike Lowell, and Guillermo Mota. Fan reaction was mixed. It was either...

Remember when we traded Carl Pavano and Tony Armas Jr. for Pedro? This is that all over again. Hanley Ramirez sucks wicked bad.
or
I mean we're talking about the Number. One. Prospect. How many teams have a number one prospect? I don't know, but we just traded ours.

They traded backup catcher, Doug Mirabelli for second baseman Mark Loretta (he was an all star 2 seasons ago). Fans saw the Red Sox getting the best of the deal...

The Padres are wicked stupid! Mirabelli is a good looking guy and a heck of a defensive catcher but he's no everyday player. Wait...who's gonna catch Wakefield? Varitek obviously can't, we may be screwed.

They traded Edgar Renteria for top Braves third baseman prospect Andy Marte. I think fans are just glad to see Renteria leave...

Dude, Renteria sucked big time! That's one reason I'm glad Theo's not coming back. He can't make another dumbass signing like that. We shoulda kept Cabrera all along. They'll probably flip that stupid prospect for something better now.

That's not even touching on Damon and Ramirez and this is getting long-winded. But to top it all off, earlier this morning I found out KEVIN MILLAR IS NOT COMING BACK.

OMFG!

I can't take this. It's like Brass Bonanza and the Whalers all over again. No more Cowboy Up? No more Karaoke Guy? No more Manny Being Manny? Everything I loved is gone.

[sigh]

Goodbye

Goodbye

Goodbye

Goodbye

Goodbye

Goodbye

Goodbye

"I love you"

He tried to make me feel better though.

[T]his isn't like the Florida Marlins blowing up their team because of money. They're replacing guys with great players like Josh Beckett and Mike Lowell and Mark Loretta, who is phenomenal. This is a team that has the money to replace guys. It's like a changing of the guard.

Is it though? You know what, I can't decide. It kinda feels like the horn that replaced Brass Bonanza. We just scored and we're celebrating...it's just a little different, not as good. I mean, I know the Marlins are fucked. I certainly don't think the Red Sox are but that doesn't change the fact that if you add Manny and Damon to the list of goodbyes you're left with two members of last year's opening day lineup. The Red Sox are different now, probably a lot more competitive than the Marlins, but different nonetheless. 2004 seems so long ago.

Who knows though? Brass Bonanza is popular once again, they even play it at Fenway. Radio hosts in and around Boston like to play it and talk about it like they actually remember it, you know - the good old days down at the mall. Maybe that proves sometimes the things you once held so dearly come back after they leave you.

Maybe there's reason to hold out hope for Theo Epstein returning to the team around Christmas this year. The Whalers sure as shit aren't coming back.

posted by YukonGold to commentary at 07:51 AM - 0 comments