December 01, 2003

Sleeping Through the Regular Season: I made the NBA picks. But my cats ate the turkey.

Well, I went an astounding 26-20 in the inaugural column. Much has happened since that little missive. The Raptors and Bulls got all Monty Hall on us. Zo Left us. (very well done jerseygirl). And Danny Fortson apparently got so hungry during a game he attempted to, and I quote, "break a chicken-wing off some dude." end quote. After much meditation, medication, and procrastination, I bring you
Sleeping Through the Regular Season: Week Whatever II The Post-Gobbler Edition.

Tuesday, December 2, 2003

New Orleans @ ORLANDO. Going into this season, T-Mac was getting some MVP consideration. 17 games in to this season and Baron is running away with the Eastern Conference votes. New Orleans. Toronto @ PHILADELPHIA. Toronto will most likely be short players, as their trade with the Bulls is completed. Not that it would have mattered. Philadelphia. Milwaukee @ ATLANTA. Is there a sadder sight than a Hawks home game? Or any Atlanta team home game for that matter? Milwaukee. Washington @ DALLAS. Gilbert Arenas has been down with an abdominal strain. Expect Larry Hughes to start, and expect Nash to torch him. Dallas. Cleveland @ DENVER. This whole LeBron gets good numbers while Carmelo keeps winning thing can't keep going can it? Denver.

Wednesday, December 3, 2003

Boston @ TORONTO. Best line I've read in awhile: "Please leave a message after the tone. Only God can judge. Either love me, or leave me alone. Holler." - message on Jalen Rose's cell phone via RaptorBlog. Nice work Scott. Toronto. Miami @ DETROIT. If not for the Magic, the Miami Heat would be a losing team for the ages. Actually, I think they're printing that on the programs for home games now. Detroit. Memphis @ NEW JERSEY. Hubie is sooo cute when he's napping on the bench. Memphis. Orlando @ NEW ORLEANS. Eek! A true back to back if there ever was one. T-Mac meet Fred Carter. New Orleans. Utah @ HOUSTON. How is it that a team with a 7-6 monster of a center is currently 4th in its division behind the Jazz and Nuggets? Houston. LA Lakers @ SAN ANTONIO. Speaking of "ROYAL ASS KICKING'S". Lakers. Minnesota @ PHOENIX. What the hell happened to the T-Wolves? Surely the Kandi-Man isn't that pivotal to their survival. If their smart they trade him. If they could. Which they can't. So there. Mwahahahaha! Minnesota. Indiana @ PORTLAND. You ever gone to a family get together where there's an awkward silence? The Blazers probably feel that way around Jermaine O'neal. Indiana. NY Knicks @ SEATTLE. Seattle's momentum has slowed from the opening week, but Flip Murray just keeps on truckin'. Seattle. Denver @ GOLDEN STATE. Brian Cardinal is a contributor on the Warriors squad. Cherokee Parks, however, is just window dressing. Denver. Cleveland @ LA CLIPPERS. The Clips screwed me last column, and I'm not sure when Wilcox will be back, much less who the starting PG will be. Cleveland.

Thursday, December 4, 2003

Chicago @ PHILADELPHIA. Who the hell is going to score for the Bulls? Crawford? Anyone got a line on this one? Philadelphia. LA Lakers @ DALLAS. I can see it now "ROYAL ASS KICKING III". It's LA, we do things big. LA Lakers.

Friday, December 5, 2003

Atlanta @ TORONTO. I think Rose is familiar with his new teammates by now. And I think the Hawks blow. Toronto. Phoenix @ BOSTON. Shh. Frank Johnson is underachieving with a squad that went to the playoffs last year. Don't tell Colangelo. Boston. Philadelphia @ MIAMI. The Wang Zhi-Zhi era has officially begun. He might start at this point. Philadelphia. Milwaukee @ NEW JERSEY. I keep telling you guys Milwaukee isn't as bad as you think. Milwaukee. Houston @ NEW ORLEANS. It hurts to watch. You just know Francis will try and show up Baron, and that Yao will just be sitting under the basket wide open as Stevie launches brick after brick. Jesus wept. New Orleans. San Antonio @ ORLANDO. I believe they call these picks: chalk. San Antonio. Washington @ MEMPHIS. Who has more tattoos, Jason Williams, or Larry Hughes? Memphis. Golden State @ DENVER. Van Exel plays very well against former teams. Get out the video tape. Golden State. LA Clippers @ UTAH. You think Jerry Sloan might finally win Coach of the year? Utah. NY Knicks @ PORTLAND. I'm still not sold on this whole McDyess thing. Though I may regret saying that. Portland. Minnesota @ SACRAMENTO. Key injuries: Olowokandi, Webber. And yet Sacramento will still hand the T-Wolves their ass on a platter. Sacramento. Indiana @ SEATTLE. I haven't heard a nickname as good as Flip since Moochie. Indiana.

Saturday, December 6, 2003

Atlanta @ CLEVELAND. You know the kid is good if he can sell this one out. Cleveland. San Antonio @ MIAMI. Tyrone Hill will be sorely missed in this game. Really. Alright maybe not. San Antonio. Phoenix @ NEW JERSEY. Everyone said that Jersey got the better of the Kidd/Marbury trade. What do you think now? Phoenix. New Orleans @ CHICAGO. We all know Baron makes the Hornets go. But, all the same, lets just pray Tim Floyd isn't seriously considered a candidate for Coach of the Year. New Orleans. Orlando @ DALLAS. Lue shows Nash how to do his own corn-rows on a very special Blossom. Dallas. Detroit @ HOUSTON. What the hell is going on with Houston's forwards? Mo Taylor "erroneously" suspended, Eddie Griffin in rehab? Yao not averaging 20 ppg? Detroit. Washington @ MILWAUKEE. There's more than football goin' on in the great state of Wisconsin donchaknow! Milwaukee. NY Knicks @ GOLDEN STATE. Nick at Nite on Broadway, is the tape still in the VCR? Golden State.

Put it to Sleep:

Friday, December 05, 2003. San Antonio over Orlando. There you have it, my picks for the week, minus sunday. Agree, disagree, yearn for the words "ROYAL ASS KICKING" to appear on your monitor once more? Drop me a comment why don't you? It's not like I'll read it. I'm gonna take a nap....

posted by lilnemo to commentary at 06:55 PM - 0 comments

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