November 17, 2003

Sleeping Through the Regular Season: The upcoming NBA gameweek previewed.

After taking in the beauty that is wfrazerjr's Weekly NFL Picks, (and a very early sixer) I have decided to (as always) shed a little light on the Association. Or the L. Or whatever you want to call it. With many apologies to wfrazerjr, I present to you:
Sleeping through the Regular Season: Week Whatever. And I know its not a full week of games, but it will be next week. If I'm allowed back :). The column follows wfrazerjr's format, if you don't know what that is, read his column now!


Houston @ PHILADELPHIA. Two words; Yao Ming. Francis vs. AI is a draw. Jimmy & Cuttino outplay the rest of Philly's guards. Unless Glenn "I stole Antoine Carr's Nickname" Robinson magically becomes 7 years younger this one looks easy. Houston.
Washington @ ATLANTA. If anyone watches this, let me know what color the seats are at Philip's Arena. There should be plenty of empties. Washington.
Boston @ NEW YORK. What's more intriguing, picking the winner of this matchup, or guessing when McDyess actually plays? Boston
Portland @ DALLAS. Hands down, the best game of the day. However NBA TV will be airing the Celts/Knicks scorcher instead. Dallas (whom coincidentally outscore the Celts/Knicks combined).
Orlando @ UTAH. "I don't know too much about zones because I didn't go to college" - Tracy McGrady. A little louder, I don't think the rest of the league heard you. Utah.


L.A. Clippers @ CLEVELAND. Do Q and D-Miles do that Knuckle-Head thing when they play Monopoly or Checkers? L.A. Clippers.
L.A. Lakers @ DETROIT. These are my Finals picks. Somehow I think L.A. prevails without the greatness that is Slava Medvedenko. L.A. Lakers.
New Orleans @ NEW JERSEY. Baron may be slimmer but Kidd still runs rings around him. New Jersey.
Atlanta @ MILWAUKEE. I told you Milwaukee wouldn't be the worst team in the league! Milwaukee.
Denver @ MINNESOTA. This is a scary one. Denver's squad reminds me of Jim Carrey in "The Cable Guy". Memo to Flip: Play KG limited minutes. Minnesota.
Golden State Warriors @ SAN ANTONIO. Say it with me 3 times fast. Tim Duncan. Tim Duncan. Tim Duncan. How about Manu, Manu, Manu? No? Fine. San Antonio.
Chicago @ PHOENIX. Classic trap game. Chicago is so looking ahead to the Lakers right now. Phoenix.
Miami @ SEATTLE. "Flip" Murray. Finally an NBA nickname we can all get behind. Seattle.


New Orleans @ BOSTON. Baron Davis manages to foul out all of Boston's PG's en route to 30 pts. Fleet Center valet parking guy checks in with 7:42 to go in the fourth and leads the C's in assists for the game. New Orleans.
L.A. Clippers @ INDIANA. Jeff Foster looks like he's related to Dr. Laura. Indiana.
Cleveland @ WASHINGTON. Lebron's mom moons the White House. Washington.
Philadelphia @ TORONTO. Antonio Davis wants to know if today is payday in Canada. Philadelphia.
L.A. Lakers @ NEW YORK. Charlie Ward or Howard Eisley? Hmmm....L.A. Lakers.
Golden State @ HOUSTON. Erick Dampier is a madman on the boards compared to Kelvin Cato. Golden State.
Milwaukee @ DENVER. Put the kids to bed early, it could get ugly. Denver.
Sacramento @ UTAH. Sacramento isn't nearly as deep as last year. Neither is Utah. Sacramento.
Detroit @ MEMPHIS. Shhhh! J-Will has a 4.69 AST/TO ratio. Memphis.
Miami @ PORTLAND. Gametime may be moved to 4:20. Portland.


San Antonio @ DALLAS. Shhh! Don't tell Nellie but Delk/Best does not = Van Exel. By the way, what's Danny Fortson doing right now? San Antonio.
Orlando @ PHOENIX. Penny extracts his revenge on the Magic. At least he would if he could supplant Joe Johnson in the starting line-up. Phoenix.


Boston @ PHILADELPHIA. Jiri Welsch looks kinda like Hugh Jackman. Ainge better hope he plays better than him. Boston.
Indiana @ NEW ORLEANS. Kenny Anderson starts? Tinsley should be on the phone with the Mayflower movers about now. New Orleans.
Minnesota @ Cleveland. Can we pencil KG in for a triple-double? Minnesota.
New York @ DETROIT. It's funny that the Knick faithful keep waiting for McDyess to save their season when turnovers, not rebounds are their achilles heal. They should be chanting for Vujanic. Detroit.
Atlanta @ SAN ANTONIO. I wonder if the French will get this broadcast. Didn't the Chinese get the coveted Zhi-Zhi Wang, Yao Ming match-up? San Antonio.
Washington @ DENVER. You think Fox Sports will get a close-up of Kiki wringing his fists from a box as Arenas goes for 30? Me neither. Washington.
Milwaukee @ UTAH. Keon Clark isn't happy about being on the IL. Coach Sloan is. Utah.
Orlando @ SACRAMENTO. This used to be a good match-up. Keith Bogans at starting SG does not bode well for Doc. Sacramento.
Miami @ GOLDEN STATE. Get out the video tape, this is the game where Dampier earns his contract. Golden State.
Chicago @ L.A. LAKERS. Summary of Chicago papers leading up to this game. Kobe. Jordan. Kobe. Jordan. Kobe. Jordan. Phil. Kobe. Jordan...L.A. Lakers.
Houston @ PORTLAND. The Rose Garden has "Moochie Norris" Bobble-head night. The fans should have something to cheer for, right? Houston.
Memphis @ SEATTLE. Bet Jerry West still giggles about pulling the old bait and switch and stealing Earl Watson. "Oh yeah, I reaallly wanted Jerome James. Suckers!!" Seattle.


Toronto @ NEW JERSEY. A.D. Looks whistfully at Exit 16W. New Jersey.
Cleveland @ ATLANTA. Woo-Hoo!! Another win in the LeBron era! Cleveland.
Philadelphia @ NEW YORK. Of all the half-baked trade scenarios the New York media has come up with, why have none of them brought AI to the Knicks? Doesn't this seem like a perfect fit? Philadelphia.
L.A. Clippers @ MINNESOTA. The Kandi Man cometh, and layeth an egg. Luckily the Mad Dog starts. Minnesota.
Denver @ DALLAS. Hopefully 'Melo starts a hot streak in this game. It's not like anyone will be guarding him. Dallas.
Miami @ PHOENIX. Marbury and Gugliotta exchange hugs, and reminisce about that one time they totally screwed KG and the T'Wolves organization. Phoenix.

Put it to Sleep: San Antonio over Atlanta (Thursday Game.)

posted by lilnemo to commentary at 08:42 PM - 0 comments

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