October 10, 2003

NFL Week Six Picks: NFL predictions that have moved past the whole Rush thing.

I'm starting to get a little freaked out. This is the second or third time I've been more effective picking against the spread than I have straight up. I suppose if you are going to tilt one way, against the line is the way to go, but I'm only 3-2 on Locks of the Week. That's less of a lock-up than Otis in the Mayberry Jail. As for around the league, I haven't seen a rollover like Monday night's Tampa Bay defense since "Lassie" went off the air. I know Peyton Manning wasn't miked for the game, but you just hear him yelling, "Oh, there it go! Wah-da-wah-da WAHHH!" As always, this picks are not meant for gambling purposes. Printed out and mixed with water and paste, you can make a spiffy piñata! Oakland @ CLEVELAND (-3): Tim Couch helps the Browns stomped a mudhole in the Steelers, and Butch Davis says he kinda sorta might be the starter, as long as Kelly Holcombe isn't feeling better? Wow, I can't imagine why Couch might be less than satisfied playing there. In other news, the Raiders suck. Browns 24, Raiders 17. Philadelphia @ DALLAS (-1): The Cowboys. Favored. Whatever. Eagles 26, Cowboys 16. Kansas City @ GREEN BAY (-1.5): Everyone repeat after me — I will never, NEVER bet against Dante Hall again. Chiefs 23, Packers 20. Houston @ TENNESSEE (+10): As crappy as the Titans were last week, Steve McNair won't let that happen twice. Neither will head coach Jeff Fisher won't either. Still, Dom Capers has this team stoked, and I don't like the 10 points. Titans 20, Texans 20. Carolina @ INDIANAPOLIS (-5): Mike Vanderjagt has voluntarily changed his name to "Drunken Idiot" in hopes of keeping the streak alive. I think the Panthers hold the score down, but not enough. Colts 22, Panthers 14. NY Giants @ NEW ENGLAND (-3): I don't have a damned thing to say about this game. Patriots 26, Giants 21. Chicago @ NEW ORLEANS (-5.5): I can hear Jim Haslett's teeth grinding from here. Watching his team makes me think someone is blowing some Maui Waui through the locker-room vents. Meanwhile, the Bears have their one win for this half of the season. Saints 27, Bears 17. Tampa Bay @ WASHINGTON (+2): "Pardon the expression, but if you were to stick a lump of coal up Jon Gruden's ass, after this week you would have diamond." Thank you, Ferris Beuhler. I would not want to be Pat Ramsey right now. Bucs 24, Capitol Racists 14. Miami @ JACKSONVILLE (+3): Byron Leftwich has been named the starter in J'ville, which makes me wonder if Mark Brunell is the best second-string QB ever. Nope, nope. Stoney Case. Dolphins 28, Jaguars 20. Pittsburgh @ DENVER (-6.5): I'm thinking the Steelers would rather have He Hate Me right about now. Broncos 30, Steelers 20. Buffalo @ NEW YORK JETS (+2.5): I keep seeing these smiling shots of Herm Edwards, which makes me think he's standing too close to the smelling salts. Bills 23, Jets 16. Baltimore @ ARIZONA (+5.5): Taking Emmitt Smith out of the Cardinals' lineup is like removing Pamela Anderson from "V.I.P." You could still watch … but what's the point? Ravens 27, Cardinals 13. San Francisco @ SEATTLE (-3.5): Woo, the 49ers beats the Lions, and now they are within a field goal of the Seahawks. Yeah, and next you'll tell me Terrell Owens is studying to be a mime. Seahawks 38, 49ers 20. Atlanta @ ST. LOUIS (-11): Eleven? ELEVEN?!? Too much with Brian Finneran returning and Marshall Faulk still out. Rams 29, Falcons 21. Lock of the Week: Philadelphia Triple Play: Philadelphia, Seattle, KC Last week ATS: 8-5-1 Last week Straight Up: 7-7 Season ATS: 40-31-3 Season Straight Up: 46-28 Lock of the Week: 3-2 Triple Play: 0-5

posted by wfrazerjr to commentary at 12:38 PM - 0 comments