11/21/24
April 28, 2003
SpoFi EPL Fantasy League WEEK 37 Leader: StarFucker! [more inside]
posted by worldcup2002 to navel gazing at 10:09 AM - 83 comments
All the action occurred in the top half. Trox capitalized on four-goal Michael Owen to push into third place. Meanwhile, I capitalized on Man U's scoring duo Scholes and Van Nistelrooy to squeeze into fifth place. I don't see myself finishing any higher, but I'm holding on to whatever I've got! And then, there's SF. With two or three games to go (will we all switch over to Arsenal players to get those extra points?), SF is nearly 120 pts in the lead. Is it truly settled? Is the game over?
posted by worldcup2002 at 10:19 AM on April 28, 2003
I basically have conceded to SF. I am after that #2 spot though.
posted by trox at 10:46 AM on April 28, 2003
Is it truly settled? Is the game over? Yes.... Yes it is...
posted by StarFucker at 11:11 AM on April 28, 2003
Hey, when is Arse-nal playing Southampton?
posted by StarFucker at 11:28 AM on April 28, 2003
Daaaaaaaaaaamn. Buddha may not have second place locked up at all! Now THAT would be funny.
posted by StarFucker at 12:29 PM on April 28, 2003
I am bloody magic.
posted by worldcup2002 at 12:56 PM on April 28, 2003
Starfucker and Trox: keep dreaming boys.
posted by Fat Buddha at 01:07 PM on April 28, 2003
Anyone want to do the MLS update? I'm too lazy.
posted by StarFucker at 02:20 PM on April 28, 2003
I'll do it, but should I do it now or wait for the stats to be updated?
posted by pfuller at 02:51 PM on April 28, 2003
They aren't updated?
posted by StarFucker at 03:03 PM on April 28, 2003
I think last week's adjustments were just due to Jeff Agoos's assist being declared a non-assist, pfuller. I could be wrong, but it was a mid-week adjustment made by the official scorer's of the MLS. I don't know why you want it so bad, fooker. You're doing absolutely miserably!
posted by Ufez Jones at 03:04 PM on April 28, 2003
Hey, MLS monkeys, get corpse to do it. (Is he playing?) Look what he did for the Baseball Fantasy League. The beauty just brings you to tears. And take your stinkin' MLS to another thread! (btw, I'm kickin' your asses like a mofo!)
posted by worldcup2002 at 03:29 PM on April 28, 2003
hey hey, i'm a one fantasy league updater kind of man.
posted by corpse at 03:41 PM on April 28, 2003
Hey, I'll still take third, but you have to admit I have a shot at overcoming you--my point totals have been stellar for the last month or so (though I doubt Owen will score 4 again this week).
posted by trox at 03:52 PM on April 28, 2003
I think last week's adjustments were just due to Jeff Agoos's assist being declared a non-assist I thought it had happened the week before and now realize that was just because games were on Sat & Sun. I'll have it up in a little bit, with shameless stealing of corpse's table format and in a locker room post all its own.
posted by pfuller at 03:53 PM on April 28, 2003
pfuller: Brilliant. I shall be weeping before the full glory of your table. trox: (though I doubt Owen will score 4 again this week) I'm hoping he does, for several reasons: 1. It'll help you beat Fooker 2. It'll help Liverpool Otherwise, it doesn't benefit me because I can't afford him!
posted by worldcup2002 at 03:56 PM on April 28, 2003
Otherwise, it doesn't benefit me because I can't afford him! That suggests an interesting topic for me. How much have your teams increased in value from the initial cap. I'm paying 92.24, but my team is worth 218.45 on the market right now. Even if I don't catch FB and the Fooker, I can take some solace in the fact that I've got all these players somewhat on the cheap.
posted by trox at 04:37 PM on April 28, 2003
================= !STANDINGS ALERT! =================
WHOA! Don't look now but the current table is *NOT* current. All the individual team pages show higher scores than are reflected in the overall standings. In fact, it looks as if Mossy is #3, and not trox! And SF's lead over FB is not 120, but more like 75 pts! Let's wait until tomorrow for the dust to settle. yahoo gives themselves 48 hrs from the last match to fully update the scores, so I think that's fair. I will repost the updated standings here. Woohoo!
posted by worldcup2002 at 06:24 PM on April 28, 2003
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!
posted by Fat Buddha at 06:31 PM on April 28, 2003
Otherwise, I'm still #5 and brilliant, charming and sexy. Also, I pay 97.61 and my team is worth 180.30. Let's call this the Investor Smarts Index, based on the Investor Smarts Ratio (S), which is a ratio of the market value of your team (V) to your investment dollars spent (I), otherwise expressed as: S = V/I Who is the Warren Buffet of this group? Manager = V / I = S squealy = 218.45 / 92.24 = 2.37 wc2k2 180.30 / 97.61 = 1.85 Call your numbers in!
posted by worldcup2002 at 06:36 PM on April 28, 2003
Woops, that would be trox, and not squealy. I still have squealy flashbacks from the interview. Sorry trox. And squealy.
posted by worldcup2002 at 06:38 PM on April 28, 2003
No worries WC, we all just feel sorry for your silly ass.
posted by billsaysthis at 08:49 PM on April 28, 2003
Ahaha, only number 2 scorer this week but still on a run.. 230.44/99.77 = 2.309
posted by Mossy at 09:09 PM on April 28, 2003
Latest and greatest - with actual changes from last week! 1. StarFucker 2521.01 2. Fat Buddha 2446.96 3. Mossy 2352.88 <-- clings on to #3 4. Trox 2344.93 <-- actual top score was 150.66, but did not move up to #3 5. worldcup2002 2181.64 (+2) <-- even more brilliant than before, extends lead over next place 6. pfuller 2172.04 <-- clings to #6 7. apt820 2171.45 (-2) <-- ouch 8. corpse 2153.28 9. jasonbondshow 2071.65 10. elsoltano 1961.11 11. Drood 1709.53 12. BigCalm 1664.97 13. eckeric 1551.67 14. cory 1483.26 15. etrader9 1360.89 16. etagloh 1228.74 17. jipe 1153.23
posted by worldcup2002 at 09:15 PM on April 28, 2003
All the action up top! The most subtle yet most important was that FB is now only 75 pts behind SF. With two or three games left, can he make up 25-38 pts a week on SF? Can the Buddha do the unthinkable? Ommmmm ...
posted by worldcup2002 at 09:19 PM on April 28, 2003
164.50/96.34 = 1.71
posted by pfuller at 09:52 PM on April 28, 2003
Will you never learn? You can't reduce the beautiful game to statistics. Feh. :-)
posted by squealy at 02:33 AM on April 29, 2003
What the hell?!
posted by StarFucker at 08:55 AM on April 29, 2003
218.45/92.24 = 2.368. And I'd say these statistics don't refer to the play of the game, merely the acumen of the managers.
posted by trox at 09:55 AM on April 29, 2003
I used to be a much better manager than I am now.
posted by pfuller at 10:28 AM on April 29, 2003
trox: I'd say these statistics don't refer to the play of the game, merely the acumen of the managers. Or how lucky they are. ;-)
posted by worldcup2002 at 10:35 AM on April 29, 2003
Or how lucky they are. ;-) Is it bitter, that lemon you are sucking?
posted by Fat Buddha at 12:16 PM on April 29, 2003
Don't waste your karma, FB. You'll need all you can get to catch up with the Fooker. Or will you be chewing on some sour grapes?
posted by worldcup2002 at 12:26 PM on April 29, 2003
What the hell? They've changed the standings again! I've dropped one place and 14 pts! What the ...???? What's going on? Note: I added up my wkly pts and they match the latest scores. So yahoo must have messed it up when they did that second "update." GRRRRRRR. I'll get the THIRD fookin' update in here in a moment.
posted by worldcup2002 at 11:29 AM on May 01, 2003
I better have gotten more points dammit!
posted by StarFucker at 11:34 AM on May 01, 2003
For the third time ... 1. StarFucker 2518.84 2. FatBuddha 2401.24 3. Trox 2330.73 (+1) <-- actually did move up this week and knocked out ... 4. Mossy 2307.16 (-1) <-- fight! fight! fight! 5. apt820 2168.10 6. worldcup2002 2167.44 (+1) <-- whatever 7. pfuller 2159.96 (-1) 8. corpse 2121.76 9. jasonbondshow 2070.92 10. elstoltano 1954.38 11. Drood 1709.53 12. BigCalm 1652.74 13. eckeric 1508.80 14. cory 1480.98 15. etrader9 1358.37 16. etagloh 1228.74 17. jipe 1153.98
posted by worldcup2002 at 11:39 AM on May 01, 2003
SF: Looks like everyone got fewer points, but some were lost more than others. It looks like you got the better end of the bargain, and have regained a healthy 117-pt lead. It looks like the game is truly up now. Commence kissing of the phallic trophy.
posted by worldcup2002 at 11:40 AM on May 01, 2003
My lead is 117.6! Now THATS more like it! 
ITS ALL OVER! FAT LADY SINGS!
posted by StarFucker at 11:41 AM on May 01, 2003
Here you go: 
posted by worldcup2002 at 11:44 AM on May 01, 2003
Just found this site... It could have helped all of us i think.
posted by StarFucker at 11:52 AM on May 01, 2003
Just found it my ass, now your secret is out for next year. ;-)
posted by pfuller at 12:04 PM on May 01, 2003
So, I only have 70 points to catch up to overtake FB. Hmmm, hard, but doable.
posted by trox at 12:34 PM on May 01, 2003
Trox, my dear old thing, can I have a pint of what you just had?
posted by Fat Buddha at 01:33 PM on May 01, 2003
No really pfuller. I just found it. I really don't even know how helpful it is.
posted by StarFucker at 01:43 PM on May 01, 2003
It appears to be under construction and utterly useless to me.
posted by Ufez Jones at 02:00 PM on May 01, 2003
Starfucker, you dozy prat, could it help us all, or do you not know how helpful it is? Make your chuffin mind up!
posted by Fat Buddha at 02:28 PM on May 01, 2003
Buddha, you plonker...i just ran into that site today. From what i could tell, the guy is up to date on injuries and shit like that... Its up to you if you want to use it, you greasy tosser. Don't expect me to rate and summarize. You're just upset now that you realize i am winning the Sportsfilter Yahoo Premiership Fantasy League Trophy...you hairless goat monkey.
posted by StarFucker at 02:35 PM on May 01, 2003
Whatever the actual outcome, I will rest easy in the knowledge that I am the moral victor!
posted by Fat Buddha at 03:13 PM on May 01, 2003
Moral victor?! What are you on about now?!
posted by StarFucker at 03:27 PM on May 01, 2003
It's obvious old chap.
posted by Fat Buddha at 04:12 PM on May 01, 2003
It is, it is. Yes.
posted by worldcup2002 at 04:14 PM on May 01, 2003
posted by StarFucker at 04:20 PM on May 01, 2003
Buddha, you pasty pear-shaped pillock... How can you BE a moral victor when you probably aren't even going to finish second?!
posted by StarFucker at 04:58 PM on May 01, 2003
If you have to ask, my little cherub, I am certainly not going to tell you !
posted by Fat Buddha at 05:03 PM on May 01, 2003
Fat Buddha is definitely a woman. :-0
posted by squealy at 06:33 PM on May 01, 2003
Well, i think i have the team to ride it out and bring the trophy home...Lets hope Macaroni scores this week ay?! 
posted by StarFucker at 09:35 AM on May 02, 2003
Man, i have been dishing out some pretty good insults...hasn't anyone noticed?
posted by StarFucker at 09:52 AM on May 02, 2003
I have. You inspire me. You putrid swamp cabbage.
posted by worldcup2002 at 11:41 AM on May 02, 2003
Starfucker, maccarone couldn't score in a barrel of fannies, which is why he isn't even playing, you buffoon!
posted by Fat Buddha at 01:18 PM on May 02, 2003
Oi Squealy it is funny you should call me a woman as according to my empathy quotient that is what I am! I don't score enough on the systemising quotient to even qualify as a woman!
posted by Fat Buddha at 01:53 PM on May 02, 2003
He is TOO playing you slack jawed polo-neck!
posted by StarFucker at 01:54 PM on May 02, 2003
He may as well not be for all the use he is, you festering pile of pus!
posted by Fat Buddha at 02:34 PM on May 02, 2003
I have changed four of my team. A last-gasp gamble for glory. I will be on pins and needles. After this week (even tho it is second to last), there will be no more questions, for the EPL teams or for us fantasy league players. Good luck to all!
posted by worldcup2002 at 02:56 PM on May 02, 2003
Fag
posted by StarFucker at 02:58 PM on May 02, 2003
Hey everyone, my empathy quotient was 36! I'm a REAL MAN!
posted by StarFucker at 02:59 PM on May 02, 2003
I gave up smoking a couple of years ago, Starfucker, you slithering slug, thanks all the same though.
posted by Fat Buddha at 03:17 PM on May 02, 2003
Wc2002 the only question remaining wil be how did SillyFucker screw up so badly?
posted by Fat Buddha at 03:19 PM on May 02, 2003
Holy Crap, I thought I might be heartless, but a freaking 18! You have a lower than average ability for understanding how other people feel and responding accordingly. Most people with Asperger Syndrome or high-functioning autism score about 20. Stupid online tests, what do they know?
posted by pfuller at 03:24 PM on May 02, 2003
I think that test was devised by Ali G's dad.
posted by Fat Buddha at 03:30 PM on May 02, 2003
EQ = 52 (average, caring, sensitive, awwww) SQ = 36 (average) Brain type = EQ > SQ but I fall in the EQ = S gray, average region = Type B "Yet other individuals are equally strong in their systemising and empathising. This is called the 'balanced brain', or a brain of type B. The balanced brain would fit on the diagonal in the top right of the graph - this is where both EQ and SQ are equally strong." Oh yes, I am the balanced brain.
posted by worldcup2002 at 03:32 PM on May 02, 2003
Is that SQ test as long as the other one? That was a bit too long for me...i have a short attention span you know...
posted by StarFucker at 04:04 PM on May 02, 2003
I am truly chuffed - three goals for Van Nistelrooy!
posted by worldcup2002 at 10:01 AM on May 03, 2003
And now Baros has scored off a Diouf cross. (I don't have them in my team but never mind) The new Reds attacking combo indeed! Heskey must surely be relegated to second-stringer from now on.
posted by worldcup2002 at 10:23 AM on May 03, 2003
You should wait for the final score before getting all excited old chap.
posted by Fat Buddha at 11:22 AM on May 03, 2003
Damn. But no bother. We'll just have to beat Chelsea. In the meantime, good on West Ham!
posted by worldcup2002 at 01:53 PM on May 03, 2003
btw, FB: 
posted by worldcup2002 at 02:26 PM on May 03, 2003
Macaroni with 2!
posted by StarFucker at 02:56 PM on May 03, 2003
Van Nistlerooy with 3!!!
posted by Fat Buddha at 03:04 PM on May 03, 2003
FB: Sadly, I think Macaroni & Cheese has won SF the Penile Trophy. I had hoped that RVN's hattrick (including the matchwinner) would take you to within a hair's breadth of SF, but then Maccarone comes in as a late sub and whacks those two goals in. On top of that, your boy Upson got sent off. Of course, SF had nothing else. And Dudek, who, along with Liverpool, unfortunately lost, thanks to that late Anelka strike. There may be a slight gain on SF, but nothing like the clearcut thumping it looked like after Man U's win today. I wish you and Henry the very best this week. Go Arsenal go! And I shall be waiting eagerly for the yahoo! update.
posted by worldcup2002 at 06:43 PM on May 03, 2003
Before today I had 2 chances, slim and none. Now slim has left town. Not only did Upson get sent off but all my other players were crap too, apart from Van Nistlerooy. You never know Terry Henry might bag half a dozen tomorrow. I will not be at all surprised to see Trox overtake me but I won't mind that he seems civilised. Hats off to the sillyfucker, if it had to be a Yank it may as well be a loudmouthed, arrogant, sumbitch!
posted by Fat Buddha at 06:58 PM on May 03, 2003
Who is Terry Henry? Its not over yet Buddha...and i commend you on your late surge.
posted by StarFucker at 11:38 PM on May 03, 2003
Thanks to Kewell, the trophy is mine! 
posted by StarFucker at 12:40 PM on May 04, 2003
1. StarFucker 2520.13 2. Fat Buddha 2401.24 3. Trox 2330.73 (+1) <-- top scorer w/ a thumping 150.66 4. Mossy 2307.16 (-1) 5. worldcup2002 2170.29 (+2) <-- like Liverpool, rising from the ashes 6. apt820 2168.10 (-1) 7. pfuller 2159.96 (-1) 8. corpse 2124.44 9. jasonbondshow 2070.92 10. elsoltano 1954.38 11. Drood 1709.53 12. BigCalm 1655.42 13. eckeric 1508.80 14. cory 1480.98 15. etrader9 1360.89 16. etagloh 1228.74 17. jipe 1153.98