February 08, 2004

Here's the update for EPL Fantasy League Week 24 (first of February), coming to you from the Department of Sheepish Looks. Yeah, clearly something went right, but something went right for a lot of us, with goals flying in from everywhere -- defenders, United's new strike partners, Kevin Kilbane, everywhere -- leading to a league median score in the mid-fifties, ten of us reaching 60, 70-plus from mossy and Bill, and, uh, me. A hearty welcome to garfield, who had a respectable 41. (more inside)

posted by taupe to navel gazing at 02:52 PM - 23 comments

Staying on the multicolor tip:

Overall
   Team   Manager   T   G   R   P 
 1  Bayern Mucus 03   Danny The Taupe   31   84   2,117   1,191 
 2  Kwacky's Kwitters   richard looker   27   50   5,371   1,157 
 3  bluebears   andy griffiths   15   56   7,496   1,142 
 4  Ardley Athletic   Squealy Neily   32   45   9,158   1,133 
 5  Crap City United   g s p m   12   54   9,877   1,129 
 6  Rings of Saturn   David Hansen   5   55   22,487   1,082 
 7  Cottage Cheesers   worldcup 2002   32   69   26,160   1,072 
 8  Mossy Athletic   Emad Mostaque   21   75   26,442   1,071 
 9  The Bog Bandits   Fat Buddha   30   62   28,024   1,067 
 10  last again   eckeric eckeric   7   62   30,088   1,061 
 11  Deadly Calm   Big Calm   20   55   34,610   1,050 
 12  37 Push Ups   Corpse R. Christ   1   41   43,457   1,028 
 13  FC Cacahuate   skronk _   35   47   47,157   1,020 
 14  Blammos!   Star Unsuitable   17   29   50,890   1,011 
 15  fascist bully boys   Ufez Jones   14   48   54,438   1,003 
 16  BillSaysThisSCORES!!   Bill Lazar   20   73   57,648   996 
 17  Finally   Mark D   13   63   57,971   995 
 17  Terrapin Utd   Rick Scully   17   53   58,005   995 
 19  Bosiak Bashers   joe bieda   27   48   58,541   994 
 20  Nemo's Dreamers   lil nemo   14   67   66,310   976 
 21  vagabonds   christopher f   20   28   74,402   957 
 22  cutters   mbd1 mbd1   18   31   79,497   945 
 23  Salmacis FC   Huw Morris   14   43   82,330   938 
 24  SilentInTheMorning   pful ler   2   55   84,581   932 
 25  Sporting Goats   Eliot Shepard   0   55   92,600   911 
 26  Atlanta Untitled   Tim Truxell   18   60   95,094   905 
 27  Generals F.C.   Noah Egorin   14   46   95,442   904 
 28  AVZ Thundering Herd   usf bull   7   66   112,928   852 
 29  tallclay   Clay H   16   34   120,932   826 
 30  Trendelmaniacs   t trendel   0   24   150,245   716 
 31  JasonSpaceman   Jason Wilder   0   39   261,537   52 
 32  The Phat Cats   garfield one bad SpoFo!   0   41   263,752   41 
 
February
   Team   Manager   T   G   R   P 
 1  Bayern Mucus 03   Danny The Taupe   0   84   436   84 
 2  Mossy Athletic   Emad Mostaque   0   75   4,162   75 
 3  BillSaysThisSCORES!!   Bill Lazar   0   73   6,264   73 
 4  Cottage Cheesers   worldcup 2002   1   69   15,626   69 
 5  Nemo's Dreamers   lil nemo   0   67   18,510   67 
 6  AVZ Thundering Herd   usf bull   0   66   21,636   66 
 7  Finally   Mark D   0   63   33,249   63 
 8  last again   eckeric eckeric   0   62   37,933   62 
 8  The Bog Bandits   Fat Buddha   1   62   42,948   62 
 10  Atlanta Untitled   Tim Truxell   0   60   48,660   60 
 11  bluebears   andy griffiths   0   56   74,614   56 
 12  Deadly Calm   Big Calm   0   55   81,846   55 
 12  Sporting Goats   Eliot Shepard   0   55   81,846   55 
 12  Rings of Saturn   David Hansen   0   55   81,846   55 
 12  SilentInTheMorning   pful ler   0   55   81,846   55 
 16  Crap City United   g s p m   0   54   89,250   54 
 17  Terrapin Utd   Rick Scully   0   53   96,889   53 
 18  Kwacky's Kwitters   richard looker   1   50   127,854   50 
 19  fascist bully boys   Ufez Jones   0   48   136,062   48 
 19  Bosiak Bashers   joe bieda   0   48   136,062   48 
 21  FC Cacahuate   skronk _   0   47   143,701   47 
 22  Generals F.C.   Noah Egorin   0   46   151,322   46 
 23  Ardley Athletic   Squealy Neily   0   45   158,821   45 
 24  Salmacis FC   Huw Morris   0   43   173,242   43 
 25  37 Push Ups   Corpse R. Christ   0   41   186,679   41 
 25  The Phat Cats   garfield one bad SpoFo!   0   41   186,679   41 
 27  JasonSpaceman   Jason Wilder   0   39   199,164   39 
 28  tallclay   Clay H   0   34   225,139   34 
 29  cutters   mbd1 mbd1   0   31   237,032   31 
 30  Blammos!   Star Unsuitable   0   29   243,533   29 
 31  vagabonds   christopher f   0   28   246,481   28 
 32  Trendelmaniacs   t trendel   0   24   255,354   24 
I haven't much weighed in on the division split, but it seems commonsensical to me to have no fewer than sixteen of us in whatever top flight we're having, because (1) there are 32 of us now and (2) it's an even number, lending just that extra degree of unnecessary verisimilitude.

posted by taupe at 02:53 PM on February 08, 2004

As for my own boys, it was clearly gut-check time after a mediocre February, and apparently my earlier pessimistic outburst about my fictional squad lit the desired fire under the players who couldn't hear me and don't even know who I am. That's how I'll explain it. Really I got insanely lucky -- you don't typically have two of your defenders score and your plan-B captain (chosen in belief that the injury to Laurent Robert would put Newcastle's attack off balance) nab a double and an assist. Speaking of Robbie Keane, of course I'll sound biased when I say this, but I'm appalled that he didn't earn a bonus for statistically outperforming both Saha and van Nistelrooy, both of whom got bonuses to match his point total. It seems there's plenty of love from the Press Association for the typical red-shirted goalhanger, but not for Irish forwards with unimaginative goal celebrations who play for deservedly unfashionable clubs. Or something. But mostly I'm just glad my fat's out of the fryer for a couple more weeks.

posted by taupe at 02:55 PM on February 08, 2004

I think ManUre need to figure out their defense without Rio but they'll have an abundance of scoring to help out in the meanwhile. OTOH, LFC has got to figure out where the offense is gonna come from because, for whatever reason, Owen is just not getting the job done--did he come back from injury too soon?

posted by billsaysthis at 05:20 PM on February 08, 2004

From what I'm reading, it's just some really poor finishing from people who are paid to score, not just Owen. The fact that we're relying on Hyppia and Gerrard for goals pretty much says it.

posted by worldcup2002 at 06:34 PM on February 08, 2004

I don't know dude, the last match I saw he just wasn't able to be physical enough to get through the back line. And Hyypia has always been able to put a few headers in the net every year.

posted by billsaysthis at 08:37 PM on February 08, 2004

I'm not denying that Owen may not be at his sharpest, but if the Reds are only relying on him for goals, we're in bigger trouble than we thought. Point is, having people who normally play in your half scoring more goals than those who are paid to spend their time in the opponent's half (I'm looking at you, Kewell, Heskey, le Tallec -- or is it Pongolle?, Baros, when you get back from your injury, Smicer, you too), then it begs the question: What the hell are we paying for all these strikers? The other problem may be, well, let's let Michael Robinson tell us:

Michael Owen is one of the reasons Liverpool are crap, because the aim is just to get him one on one. Owen has only got one medium - come short and go long. I'd have loved to have been as good as him - the trouble is, Houllier has built a whole team around him and every other team in England knows about it. Houllier is so stereotyped in his thoughts. It's not fair on Michael, it's not fair on the team and it's not fair on the victims like me who watch it. At Real Madrid, Owen would be a substitute.
After I read the Guardian's report on the Bolton v Liverpool match, and reflected, once again, that it was Gerrard who set up the first equalizer, and scored the second, point-saving equalizer, maybe Houllier should fire everyone and start building the team around Gerrard.

posted by worldcup2002 at 12:07 AM on February 09, 2004

Thanks for the warm welcome. Pretty much flying blind still, but I've already learned that Owens is the reason Liverpool sucks, and automatic subs got me 7 pts. Q: What does the red-colored 'i' mean? Does that indicate injury?

posted by garfield at 12:57 PM on February 09, 2004

It actually means "can't play this week", usually, yes, because of injury, but other reasons include: - suspensions - contractual obligations (e.g., Chelsea just bought Charlton's Scott Parker, and Charlton just got Chelsea's Carlton Cole on loan, so both players couldn't play in yesterday's Chelsea v Charlton match) - team-player conflict (e.g., Charlton benched Parker during the sale negotiations w/ Chelsea because Parker basically wanted to go, but Charlton's manager didn't want him to, well, until the team saw the 10mil-pound offer) - players away on international assignment (e.g., players currently playing in the African Cup) - other (players facing police investigations or court charges, away on compassionate leave, etc.)

posted by worldcup2002 at 01:11 PM on February 09, 2004

If you click on the red "i", you'll see the player's profile, which should include a very brief explanation of why they're out.

posted by worldcup2002 at 01:12 PM on February 09, 2004

thanks. I figured, but when I couldn't find stories for all of them, i began to wonder.

posted by garfield at 01:33 PM on February 09, 2004

I said it in the last thread, but I think it bears saying again: I had a shite week. My midfield let me down utterly (Malbranque, Kewell you know who I'm talking about). Only the performance of young Nicky Hunt in defence, scoring his first career Premiership goal, rescued any respectability. Shame he's suspended next game, I could do with another 10 of him.

posted by squealy at 02:41 PM on February 09, 2004

But squealy, Kewell is Oceania PotY for the third time, how can you diss him like that??? I would just like to thank the management at ManUre for the pickup of Saha, who was already on my team, as I think the Saha/RvN combination is going to be worth major points every week from here on out.

posted by billsaysthis at 03:34 PM on February 09, 2004

God knows why Bill, he's not been scoring any decent FFL points. I think you may be right with regard to the Man U issue, though I hate to say it.

posted by squealy at 03:49 PM on February 09, 2004

Q: Is there a way to change formations, to say, accomodate 8 defenders, or more likely 3 strikers?

posted by garfield at 04:20 PM on February 09, 2004

8 defenders - NO. 3 strikers - yes. You pick 2 goalies, 5 def, 5 mid, 3 strikers. How you set up your team within those confines is up to you. My ideal is: 2-5-3 to max out on high-scoring players (strikers and midfielders) but usu. due to injuries, it's more like 3-4-3, 3-5-2 or 4-4-2.

posted by worldcup2002 at 04:45 PM on February 09, 2004

My midfield is shite, too. My two best players are crocked (Izzet!), and the rest have been, well, a little underwhelming. Depending on how I do in the next two days, one or more of them will go.

posted by worldcup2002 at 04:48 PM on February 09, 2004

So the trick is selecting positional players to add up to the formation I so desire. Brilliant! A beer that can be stored in and consumed from a bottle....Brilliant! thanks wc2k2...again.

posted by garfield at 05:06 PM on February 09, 2004

In simple non-managerial terms, I fucked up. I thought I would sell Saha on the basis that either a) the pressure would get to him or b) he wouldn't play every week balls added to that was an AWOL midfield, defenders and goalies lettting the other side score just for the sake of it and 2 goal shy forwards and you have the making of a shite week points wise. /me walks off muttering something about a race not a sprint and boys in the park

posted by kWaCkY at 12:26 PM on February 10, 2004

Have a pint and get back in the game! We can't let taupe run away with it just yet.

posted by worldcup2002 at 12:33 PM on February 10, 2004

Ohhhhh. Just the week to switch captains from Henry to Saha. Henry scored two today just to rub it in my face. Well, here's hoping Keano and Saha score bucketfuls tomorrow.

posted by worldcup2002 at 05:38 PM on February 10, 2004

HEY TAUPE! sweet logo. Anyone else with-holding graphic design skills?

posted by lilnemo at 06:01 PM on February 10, 2004

Hmmmm. 36 points from two players last night. That's a bit more like it.

posted by kWaCkY at 01:20 AM on February 11, 2004

I don't what I'm doing yet, but I've already topped last week's total. Damn I'm good.

posted by garfield at 08:58 AM on February 11, 2004

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