11/05/24
April 03, 2006
ESPN's 2006 Baseball Predictions: Day-by-day predictions for the 2006 MLB season. Long, but there's some funny stuff in there.
May 16 -- A Red Sox front office employee drives struggling third baseman Mike Lowell way out into the country, lets him run around in a field for a few minutes, and then shoots him. That's gold.
posted by grum@work at 06:35 PM on April 03, 2006
Hey! Lowell hit a HR today!
posted by jerseygirl at 07:34 PM on April 03, 2006
This was hilarious!
posted by hincandenza at 07:55 PM on April 03, 2006
Hey! Lowell hit a HR today! Which I missed while hitting up the bathroom. Decent game though. Schilling pitched a gem (minus Hank's bullet homer). Millwood, frankly, left me quite non-plussed. As for the link....impressive. That must've taken quite a while to do. I forgot that the Gambler will be pitching here over the weekend. I may try to grab tix for that game too, just to see the crowd reaction.
posted by Ufez Jones at 07:55 PM on April 03, 2006
May 19 -- With the Cubs visiting U.S. Cellular Field to play an interleague series against the White Sox, the defending champs get their first home sellout of the season. This is my favorite. Very entertaining - thanks for the post.
posted by skydivemom at 08:20 PM on April 03, 2006
Jeebus, that's a long list. It would be alot better to roll it out a month at a time. It got me smiling in spite of my foul mood (damn you, Jake Peavy). But at least the Dodgers lost too. Now if only the A's can spank the Yankees tonight. And this was my favorite from April: April 18 -- Indians pitcher C.C. Sabathia asks the team's equipment manager why he keeps getting stuck with hats that have off-center brims.
posted by fenriq at 08:54 PM on April 03, 2006
Kudos to DJ Gallo!!! Long, twisted, funny and likely to come true, at some point during the season. Leyland meeting Bonds at the All Star game is PRICELESS! Think Bonds would even understand the suggestion?
posted by wolfdad at 09:43 PM on April 03, 2006
The Astros beat the Marlins 1-0 in their season opener...should we quit now to preserve the undefeated season? HA! Here is to all the true fans of their teams, if my Astros can finally make it to the World Series, there is hope for everyone. Hope we can make it back and win it this time. I will root for all teams (except when they play the 'Stros) EXCEPT San Francisco and that vastly overrated Bonds. Break a leg Barry, literally. You don't need to cheat to win, unless you are a loser like Bonds.
posted by astrorocket at 09:54 PM on April 03, 2006
astrorocket, nope, noone's ever cheated in baseball. Not Canseco, McGwire, Caminiti, Sosa, Boone and a whole shitload of other players. I'm glad everyone's judged Barry Bonds as the only player who's ever cheated (and yet has never been caught, he must be a superninja or something), its so much easier to have a single point of focus for the steroid witchhunt. Instead of, you know, testing and punishing players THAT FAIL MLB DRUG TESTS. Nah, that'd be too much like rational thought. And that's expecting too much from an Astros fan.
posted by fenriq at 10:41 PM on April 03, 2006
Schilling pitched a gem (minus Hank's bullet homer). Schilling looked good. Foulke, on the other hand, did not. In other news: Nomar Garciaparra's debut with the Dodgers was put off because the converted first baseman injured a muscle in his right side during his first at-bat in Sunday's exhibition finale against the Los Angeles Angels. ... Little said Garciaparra might be placed on the disabled list. The curse of Mia continues...
posted by justgary at 10:57 PM on April 03, 2006
Cybermac... This is a gem of a story. Really liked the bit about the Nats signing, then suspending Clemens! Laughed so hard that I started tearing up. We need something like this to keep a smile on all the people bashing Bonds! This is hilarious.
posted by nflhou02 at 11:10 PM on April 03, 2006
I'm imagining a situation where Nomar accepted the initial long-term, big money offer from the Red Sox. Now that's the definition of a nigtmare situation. His injury history is getting into Kerrywoodsian proportions.
posted by uglatto at 11:13 PM on April 03, 2006
I wouldn't sweat Foulke, jg. Two hits and one ER (on a sacfly) isn't the end of the world. Hell, let's face it, neither the BoSox or Rangers have a pitching staff to brag about. That said, my favorite heckle of the game was caught between: "Big Poopy"* or "Papsmearbon"**. Both, somewhat sadly, courtesy of my friend M, who was three seats down from me. *Probably not the first coinage of said name. **Should I know this guy? At least you can chuckle up Lowe's line tonight.
posted by Ufez Jones at 11:17 PM on April 03, 2006
fenriq, I can feel the sarcasm in your reply, no offense but I will consider the source regarding "expecting too much from an astros fan" comment. I guess you just heard of Barry Bonds. Having lived in the SF Bay Area for 16 years before moving back to Houston, I frequently went to Giants/Astros games before and during Bonds arrival. The guy is without a doubt a great ballplayer, but is a no talent ass clown when it comes to interaction with fans...simply put he has no class. I also think that without cheating, he still had the best chance of the homerun record(s). Make no mistake that he cheatec...so did numerous others granted, but they did not have the same level of talent he did. You can make a feeble attempt to insult my being an Astros fan, but unless you are a White Sox fan, your second rate team watched the W.S outside of the chalk lines...who knows maybe the Astros will too this year, but until then, we are the current N.L. champs...none the less I hope your team does well and gives you joy like mine did. Good Luck! (seriously)
posted by astrorocket at 11:18 PM on April 03, 2006
Being a "no talent ass clown" to the fans doesn't mean he deserves to be singled out and persecuted as he is and has been. You say, make no mistake that he cheated. Where is the proof? Without proof, you're blowing smoke. And until you and baseball have some proof, it would be a helluva lot more fair to not treat him as if he's guilty just because he's an asshole. Its easier to hate him because he doesn't give a damn what the fans think or what the press thinks. But that doesn't mean that he's automatically guilty and I'm truly sick and tired of the pre-judgment. How would you feel if you went to court and the judge said "So, you guilty asshole, how do you plead?" That's pretty much what Bonds puts up with everyday. BTW, on a more congenial note, I was sorry to see Bagwell have to retire. He was and is a class act (with a funny batting stance) and his presence will be missed.
posted by fenriq at 12:30 AM on April 04, 2006
Nomar Garciaparra's debut with the Dodgers was put off because the converted first baseman injured a muscle in his right side during his first at-bat in Sunday's exhibition finale against the Los Angeles Angels. His injuries are getting very random and ridiculous. Hell, let's face it, neither the BoSox or Rangers have a pitching staff to brag about. I don't think the pitching for Boston is all that bad at all for once.
posted by jerseygirl at 04:49 AM on April 04, 2006
Agreed, though Foulke's outing would have been worse if Coco hadn't made a terrific catch. I'm willing to overlook it given the quality of Foulke's pitching this spring. Assuming it's a one-time thing, obvs.
posted by yerfatma at 06:12 AM on April 04, 2006
It will definitely take more than a single outing to get a read on Foulke especially. Coco has got some wheels. I have a feeling I am going to enjoy the Crisp era.
posted by jerseygirl at 08:33 AM on April 04, 2006
Foulke is going to take some time to get it all together. If it ain't together by July, I'll worry. I'm perfectly willing to give him April and May. jerseygirl, you got that right: Coco can flat out fly.
posted by The_Black_Hand at 08:47 AM on April 04, 2006
I gather from the list of predictions that the Twins will not be involved very much in MLB this season other than to watch a giant Palmeiro jersey burn in Baltimore.
posted by chris2sy at 10:34 AM on April 04, 2006
that vastly overrated Bonds. he's probably the best player in history(if not, he's in the top 3) and most certainly the best player of my lifetime. But yea, he's vastly overrated (rollseyes). It's a shame you've let the media so unfairly cloud your judgement on the greatest player of our generation. Meanwhile, your beloved Biggio attempted to bribe a police officer his rookie year when he was driving under the influence, yet statues are being erected for him in the city. We never hear about that, or the fact that Kirby Pucket held a gun to his wife and kids head, or that Cal Ripken refused to stay in the same hotel as his teammates late in his career...because those guys are media darlings. But because Bonds refuses to do interviews, we know every sordid detail of his life and the sheeple lap it up like milk.
posted by bdaddy at 10:36 AM on April 04, 2006
sheeple? Is that like a Puggle? The "greatest player" of our generation was juicing during some of his "greatest" contributions. I think that excludes him from wearing the "greatest" moniker.
posted by jerseygirl at 10:40 AM on April 04, 2006
jerseygirl, again, where is your proof of your allegation that Bonds cheated? bdaddy, exactly, Bonds is vilified because he doesn't give a damn about the media and fans love to hate on the great (sorry). Until there's proof of Bonds' "cheating" its all speculation. And the best anti-proof would be a good season this year with forty or so dingers.
posted by fenriq at 10:52 AM on April 04, 2006
Really fenriq? Does the whole SI article and the Bonds book need to be recapped?
posted by jerseygirl at 10:57 AM on April 04, 2006
vastly over-rated bonds - the truest words ever spoken. in the top 3? Not really in the top ten. A left fielder who could run a little when young. couldn't begin to hit .300 his first five years in the bigs. compare him to Albert Pujols and consider his entire career. Made by the media not his deeds.
posted by rchugh at 11:15 AM on April 04, 2006
Really fenriq? Does the whole SI article and the Bonds book need to be recapped? well it would help if the information wasn't from TWO SAN FRANCISCO COLUMNIST and the information wasn't completely obtained by ILLEGAL MEANS that can't be confirmed by anyone involved. In fact the subject of most of the information (the Balco exec) has said he will be coming forward with information to prove that most of the data in that book is untrue. Now I'm not saying he didn't juice, in fact I believe he did...the point is, the only proof anyone has is illegally obtained information that you nor I have any right to know to begin with (nor any real reason to trust that information over any other allegations)
posted by bdaddy at 11:16 AM on April 04, 2006
vastly over-rated bonds - the truest words ever spoken. in the top 3? Not really in the top ten. A left fielder who could run a little when young. couldn't begin to hit .300 his first five years in the bigs. compare him to Albert Pujols and consider his entire career. Made by the media not his deeds. That is the most ludicrous statement I've ever read. Career 1.053 OPS. 500 steals. 6 time MVP. 8 gold gloves. What are you doing reading a baseball thread? You obviously have no understanding of the sport
posted by bdaddy at 11:22 AM on April 04, 2006
In one breath you call him the greatest of our generation, in the other you say you believe he cheated (while making some of his most noteworthy contributions)? That logic doesn't really make sense to me. That's like saying "Bill Clinton was the most faithful and true Presidential husband!" and then following it up with "Oh yeah, he totally got one from Monica in the Oval Office"
posted by jerseygirl at 11:30 AM on April 04, 2006
The "greatest player" of our generation was juicing during some of his "greatest" contributions. In pittsburgh (before anyones even hinted he took steroids) - from another thread * Top 10 in HR 3 times * Top 10 in OBP 4 times * Top 10 in SLG 4 times * Top 10 in Runs 6 times * Top 10 in RBI 3 times * Top 10 in SB 4 times * Top 10 in extra base hits 6 times * Two MVP Awards This was all before 92...he didn't get accused of steroids in the book until 2001. He was a HOFer well before he ever "allegedly" put the needle in himself.
posted by bdaddy at 11:31 AM on April 04, 2006
(03-07) 11:47 PST -- Barry Bonds began using steroids after the 1998 baseball season and came to rely on a wide variety of performance-enhancing drugs over the next several years, according to a book written by two Chronicle reporters and excerpted in this week's Sports Illustrated.
posted by jerseygirl at 11:40 AM on April 04, 2006
In one breath you call him the greatest of our generation, in the other you say you believe he cheated (while making some of his most noteworthy contributions)? 1) I don't believe he cheated while making his most noteworthy contributions. His 73 HRs in 2002 doesn't make him the greatest any more than McGuires 70 does. His most noteworthy contributions were his 20 years, 1.053 OPS, 500 steals. 6 time MVP, 8 gold gloves, etc...most of which came before his 2001 alleged doping. 2) I have no reason to suspect that any of the others he's being compared against didn't cheat. In fact, just the opposite, most did. "Greenies" were all the fad in baseball. Who knew which guys corked bats. HOF pitchers admitted to doctoring the balls.
posted by bdaddy at 11:42 AM on April 04, 2006
1:47 PST -- Barry Bonds began using steroids after the 1998 baseball season and came to rely on a wide variety of performance-enhancing drugs over the next several years, according to a book written by two Chronicle reporters and excerpted in this week's Sports Illustrated. well then that is flawed. His stats from 1992 to 2000 are virtually identical across the board...so if he was taking something, it wasn't working. The only spike you see is in 2001. And I won't be reading the book, but I thought the whole premise of it was that he became jealous of the attention McGuire got and that's when he started.
posted by bdaddy at 11:45 AM on April 04, 2006
And I won't be reading the book, but I thought the whole premise of it was that he became jealous of the attention McGuire got and that's when he started. I think that's the other book. There is a couple of them coming out.
posted by bperk at 12:03 PM on April 04, 2006
Pittsburgh Pirates, same old same old, bring in Torres to blow the game.
posted by Carle G at 01:28 PM on April 04, 2006
jerseygirl, yes, yes it does because the book is based on circumstantial evidence that was obtained illegally and has already been publicly refuted by Victor Conte. Proof isn't allegations from a scorned mistress and illegally obtained and then twisted grand jury testimony. Look, everyone's entitled to an opinion about the guy but don't go and try to say that your opinion is fact until you have something concrete to back it up with. And, good points, bdaddy. If he was enhancing his performance then wouldn't his numbers reflect more power or speed? Funny how little things like stats are overlooked in the witch hunt.
posted by fenriq at 01:45 PM on April 04, 2006
Oh for Christ's sake.
posted by jerseygirl at 01:53 PM on April 04, 2006
Of course he's clean. He and Sosa and McGwire, etc. etc. all went from scrawny toothpicks to brick shithouses by drinking carrot juice and taking Flinstone chewables. How silly of us to put any credence in a well written, extremely detailed investigative piece written by...oh my god...journalists from San Francisco. And if Victor Conte (convict) says it's not true, then golly, it must not be true.
posted by willthrill72 at 04:07 PM on April 04, 2006
Sarcasm, but really, you have to recognize that all of the secret grand jury testimony and secret evidence would open them up to criticism. Scan your evidence, post it on the internet, and let everyone see it. Otherwise, we just have to take their word for it. We already know that editors make no effort to fact check these things (ask Oprah).
posted by bperk at 04:15 PM on April 04, 2006
Comming soon this year to CSI SportsFilter: Bdaddy tells Hank Aaron "He beat you fair and square old man.... where is your evidence?"
posted by kaydj72 at 07:44 PM on April 04, 2006
I wouldn't sweat Foulke, jg. Two hits and one ER (on a sacfly) isn't the end of the world. Normally I'd agree. But in the big picture, considering how he finished last year, and the fact that he seems a bit of a head case (IMO), I'm pretty negative about foulke working out. They're claiming he was just throwing fastballs and ingoring his change up since the lead was so large. I don't get that. 89 mph with no change up is batting practice. Give me a bat. Hell, let's face it, neither the BoSox or Rangers have a pitching staff to brag about. I don't know. There are a lot of 'ifs' on the sox, but if everything falls into place they could have their best staff in recent memory. The yankees staff has a few questions also. Gonna be interesting.
posted by justgary at 01:00 AM on April 05, 2006
Phew. I made it all the way through the article (stopping on occassion for things like meals). For those more pressed for time, here are the ten jokes that Gallo managed to "compress" into 162: 1) The Yankees have a $200 million payroll, and that's kooky. 2) Theo Epstein has kooky emotional issues. 3) Barry Bonds has a kooky relationship with media and fans... this being that they hate him. 4) Some players did some kooky performance-enhancing drugs. 5) Manny Ramirez is just so kooky. 6) Kenny Rogers has a kooky habit of hitting people. 7) The Marlins have a very inexperienced roster, which is, of course, kooky. 8) Kerry Wood has a kooky habit of getting hurt. 9) Johnny Damon's arm is kookily weak. 10) The media throw an inordinately kooky amount of their coverage on teams from New York and Boston. (To underscore this point, Gallo -- a member of the media -- devotes about 100 of his 162 jokes to New York and Boston players and teams.) This article : Funny article :: "A Night At The Roxbury" : Chris Kattan SNL skit
posted by BullpenPro at 01:46 AM on April 05, 2006
Personally, I'm looking forward to May.