11/05/24
August 05, 2005
Mike Tyson entering the ring of Pron: "If Tyson brings out some of the ferocity that made him a champion, he could definitely become a successful porn star"
dats ludacwiss
posted by evil empire at 05:04 PM on August 05, 2005
If Mike Tyson brings out all the ferocity that made him a champion, no one will want to do any scenes with him.
posted by chicobangs at 05:07 PM on August 05, 2005
Wasn't he supposed to fade into Bolivia?
posted by The_Black_Hand at 05:16 PM on August 05, 2005
well he said he wanted to become a missionary ....i didnt think he was talking about missionary possition .
posted by evil empire at 05:24 PM on August 05, 2005
Maybe he was after all, empire. "Jimmy Swaggart is lascivious creature, Mike Tyson is lascivious -- but we're not criminally, at least I'm not, criminally lascivious. You know what I mean. I may like to fornicate more than other people -- it's just who I am. I sacrifice so much of my life, can I at least get laid? I mean, I been robbed of my most of my money, can I at least get [oral sex] without the people wanting to harass me and wanting to throw me in jail?"
posted by chicobangs at 05:31 PM on August 05, 2005
Until today I wouldn't have wished Mike Tyson's life on anyone. Then Jenna Jameson entered the picture. I want to be like Mike.
posted by smithnyiu at 05:35 PM on August 05, 2005
He can go from fucking up his life to fucking for a living ...... God bless america .
posted by evil empire at 06:12 PM on August 05, 2005
How hard up does she have to be to use this as a marketing ploy?
posted by volfire at 06:59 PM on August 05, 2005
fraze, that's just all sorts of wrong. but i have to admit, it did make me laugh.
posted by goddam at 07:53 PM on August 05, 2005
"14-inch member"? Pffft!!! Jonah Falcon isn't that big, and you couldn't help but notice the friggin' baguette in his trunks. I would think a boxer, wearing nothing but skimpy lycra, would have been noticed by now if he was hung with the largest penis in history. Seriously, how pathetically underendowed are most guys that they can see a modest 7-8" cock and think "That monster must be at least 10 inches long!!"? A lot of these porn stars with the alleged foot long penises are really only about 8-9", max. About all we can really be sure of is that American boxing journalist Pedro Fernandez is an embittered victim of microphallus. I don't think Jenna is hard up, but she's always been a shrewd self-promoter; for the money she's made, she's done very, very few films. That E! THS episode on her suggests she and her porno husband are these wanna-be neo-Christian white-bread types, and this sort of stunt is likely just to either
- drum up a last few PR points for Jenna's brand- get her name out there, make a few more bucks, and never actually go through with any Tyson scene- before she closes up shop a retired multi, multi millionaire.
- Or, this is just to drum up some PR, THEN go through with the scene, and get some morbid curiosity sales a la the celebrity sex tape du jour
posted by hincandenza at 07:59 PM on August 05, 2005
Hey Mike , you better hope Jenna wasn't a Holyfield fan and bites a part of you off as revenge .
posted by evil empire at 08:04 PM on August 05, 2005
Next SpoFi link: Mike Tyson Bites Labia Off Jenna Jameson I'm going to hell for laughing at that.
posted by justgary at 08:37 PM on August 05, 2005
I have nothing to say about this one.
posted by melcarek69 at 08:56 PM on August 05, 2005
Seriously, how pathetically underendowed are most guys that they can see a modest 7-8" cock and think "That monster must be at least 10 inches long!!"? A lot of these porn stars with the alleged foot long penises are really only about 8-9", max. About all we can really be sure of is that American boxing journalist Pedro Fernandez is an embittered victim of microphallus. a) "most" guys can't be underendowed- by definition however most guys are endowed is the average... and b) you think about weiners a lot
posted by drjimmy11 at 09:44 PM on August 05, 2005
Im gonna say this... Jenna is a married babe. So what is she been in like over a 100 pornos. Now she married to some guy. She hasnt done a porn with any guys excepts her husband on film. But she is always doin cicks. If i were her husband and some BROKE muscle bound, tatoo faced, convicted rapest was gonna try to put 14in in my wife.....Id go in my pants pull out my cute lil three incher and stuff it in his mouth. my 3in would be a barrell of a .357 Magnum. And another thing I tend to enjoy a Mrs. Jameson video every once and a while, I dont wanna here that high pitched fairy- voice crying "oh jenna" ruinging a perfectly good porn
posted by Connolly420 at 10:42 PM on August 05, 2005
b) you think about weiners a lot Beats navel-gazing. I have nothing to say about this one. And yet... I officially can't throw my support behind this endeavour until I'm assured that Bootsy Collins and Al Jourgensen will collaborate on the background music.
posted by Ufez Jones at 11:46 PM on August 05, 2005
Im gonna say this... Jenna is a married babe. So what is she been in like over a 100 pornos. Now she married to some guy. She hasnt done a porn with any guys excepts her husband on film. But she is always doin cicks. If i were her husband and some BROKE muscle bound, tatoo faced, convicted rapest was gonna try to put 14in in my wife.....Id go in my pants pull out my cute lil three incher and stuff it in his mouth. my 3in would be a barrell of a .357 Magnum. And another thing I tend to enjoy a Mrs. Jameson video every once and a while, I dont wanna here that high pitched fairy- voice crying "oh jenna" ruinging a perfectly good porn My eighth-grade English teacher, a good and decent woman named Martha Huston, is spinning in her grave right now, kinda like...
posted by The_Black_Hand at 12:03 AM on August 06, 2005
The leap from attention whore to whore is not much of a surprise, but this is still gross. His athletic skills shot, Tyson's now in a publicity stunt death spiral, each gimmick less shocking than the last. It reminds me of Dennis Rodman's attempt to extend his contrived public persona as long as possible after basketball ended.
posted by rcade at 06:21 AM on August 06, 2005
My eighth-grade English teacher, a good and decent woman named Martha Huston, is spinning in her grave right now I'm with you Black Hand. Do they not teach english in school any more? It just drives me crazy to see bad grammar. Whatever a person is trying to say loses all credibility when they can't spell simple words. And if you know you can't spell (looks accusingly at Connolly420) then do yourself a favor and run everything your write through an industrial grade spell checker before posting here. Heart rate 130...120...110...
posted by smithnyiu at 08:16 AM on August 06, 2005
They can teach , but you have to listen to learn .For what it's worth we live in the MTV generation now , so much for culture .
posted by evil empire at 08:25 AM on August 06, 2005
You're breaking my irony meter, evil empire.
posted by lil_brown_bat at 08:29 AM on August 06, 2005
As a female, I think I have NO desire whatsoever to see Mike Tyson in a porno. No matter how endowed he isIt really isn't hot to talk dirty with a man who sounds like he is 8 years old. I would feel like a child molester.
posted by tina at 11:53 AM on August 06, 2005
Tina, I appreciate your thinking but you're not the target market for this film if it ever does get made. And Conolly420, do you think Jameson's husband didn't know what he was getting when they married? Plus, your comments are more than a little strange coming from someone who uses a drug reference in his web nickname.
posted by billsaysthis at 02:26 PM on August 06, 2005
Hey women are definately part of the target market too. It just depends on the woman. : ) But either way, no problem bill.
posted by tina at 02:39 PM on August 06, 2005
right on, tina
posted by garfield at 04:47 PM on August 06, 2005
"Ooh, I'm gonna scwew you sooo hawwwd! I'm gonna wide you like a choo-choo twain!" Tina's right. That's really cweepy creepy.
posted by wfrazerjr at 05:36 PM on August 06, 2005
Tina, I appreciate your thinking but you're not the target market for this film if it ever does get made. Yeah, but what she wrote was really, really funny. I mean, talk about a way to deflate a big mean guy!
posted by lil_brown_bat at 06:25 PM on August 06, 2005
Thank you. I do my best..........
posted by tina at 06:47 PM on August 06, 2005
well excuse me for spelling a few things wrong, being a quadrepalgic I tend to do that. P.S. Buttmunch you need English also, they teach grammer, not spelling.
posted by Connolly420 at 09:44 PM on August 06, 2005
Being a quadrapelegic doesn't affect the brain, and Grammer is spelled g r a m m a r . Jesus, the irony...
posted by smithnyiu at 11:58 PM on August 06, 2005
Wow, we have some issues going on here.....
posted by tina at 12:06 AM on August 07, 2005
I would've thought Mike may have opened up a few malls first. Ya know, take some time to truly use your celebrity at meaningless and totally unrelated events for sizeable appearance fees - other fights, jump on with Harold Letterman and scare the shit out of him - go get a ghostwriter to write your memoirs and a book tour. Then he'd move on to Vegas and greet people entering MGM, eventually ending up greeting people entering the buffet line - and THEN doing porn. So I guess I credit him for just cutting right to the chase.
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 11:59 AM on August 07, 2005
This whole post is worse then some of the "Troller Trash" that has been erased. Irony indeed!
posted by daddisamm at 12:03 PM on August 07, 2005
Next SpoFi link: Mike Tyson Bites Labia Off Jenna Jameson