11/05/24
April 08, 2004
MAO: Athletics Nation starts a list of Most Annoying Opponent (for A's fans, but you can fill in the blanks). Who is the one opponent, in any sport, that makes you flip off the TV?
My list: Baseball: Bret Boone. Bat-flip last night was classic, unfortunately the ball stayed in the park. Basketball: Doug Christie. My chest constricts every time I see this whipped puppy. When he does his little blowing kisses routine for the ninetieth time in a game, I go into full cardiac arrest. Football: Peyton Manning. Peyton should have been pugilist with that face, but even with the mug he's a pretty boy.
posted by dusted at 06:14 PM on April 08, 2004
Diana Taurasi. Hands down. Antwan Jamison used to do this to me to, when he was at Chapel Hill, though I dislike him less than Taurasi- he just terrified me. Oh, and Tom fricking Brady- doesn't hold a candle to Marino, and yet, two rings. Ugh. Ugh!
posted by tieguy at 06:18 PM on April 08, 2004
Awesome question. Jeter, clearly, for making me believe "clutch" players exist and for the fact he's never once struck out. Oh, he's been called out by umps with poor eyesight, but never actually struck out. You can tell the difference: when it's the ump's mistake, Jeter shakes his head and smirks about it. Jason Kidd for the kiss. Hines Ward for the constant smiling and the "we were the better team" speeches after losses. Man there are a million more.
posted by yerfatma at 07:13 PM on April 08, 2004
Guess I just don't get as emotionally invested in this stuff as you all but I can't think of a single player I'll turn off instead of watching. Now, that said, there are plenty of players and teams I won't bother to watch.
posted by billsaysthis at 07:31 PM on April 08, 2004
I can't think of a single player I'll turn off instead of watching. Sorry, when I said "flip off the TV" I meant giving the bird. I get tendinitis in my middle finger when Doug Christie is on screen.
posted by dusted at 11:46 PM on April 08, 2004
Very good question. Barry Bonds, because he's a cheater. Ray Lewis, because he's a fucking murderer. Colin Montgomerie, because he's a wanker. Shaquille O' Neal, because his brand of basketball bores me to tears. I'd rather watch mice fucking on a TV screen, even if the picture was fuzzy. Jeter, clearly, for making me believe "clutch" players exist. Yerfatma, reading this brought a tear to my eye!
posted by vito90 at 07:54 AM on April 09, 2004
Lewis is an interesting case. For me, I don't mind (it is easy to ignore one player of 22, especially when he is off the field as much as not) until the announcers start raving about how brilliant he is, what a great leader, etc., etc. That's when the little detail of murder (or at least consorting with murderers) comes flooding back and I'm compelled to vomit.
posted by tieguy at 08:16 AM on April 09, 2004
Karl Malone. Everone say it with me. Karl Malone..
posted by jmevius at 09:05 AM on April 09, 2004
Roger Clemens, Roger Clemens, and Roger Clemens. That sanctimonious amoral self-obsessed doesn't-know-when-to-give-it-up greedwhore wouldn't know team spirit if it took a piss in his hat. Terrell Owens. Same reason. [Hey vito, they're showing mice fucking on ESPN2 this afternoon. Live from Kuala Lumpur! You know what this means: they're finally out of World's Strongest Man and Poker Contests! Awright!]
posted by chicobangs at 09:17 AM on April 09, 2004
Man, I hate Carl Everett so bad. Also, does Bud Selig count? I know he's not a player, per se, but I've flipped him off more times through the TV than just about anyone I can remember.
posted by Jugwine at 09:28 AM on April 09, 2004
This is great. I'll second Karl Malone and Roger Clemens. Add: Tiger Woods, Tim Duncan, Ronaldo. No longer playing but were on my list for a very long time: Deion Sanders, Patrick Roy, John Elway. Bastards, each and every one of 'em.
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:30 AM on April 09, 2004
In order for the player to be an MAO, he or she has to consistently hurt your team, so this list for the A's is pretty complete... Barry Bonds, Manny Ramirez, Derek "The Bird" Lowe, Derek "Muppet Crossed with The Rock" Jeter and Ichiro "Mr. Infield Hit" Suzuki... And this is very cathartic.
posted by dusted at 11:33 AM on April 09, 2004
Shaq, Bonds, Manny, Pedro, Jeter, Giambi, hell pretty much the entire roster of the Yankee's and Sox minus Schill. Pete Sampras, Tom Brady, Chris Webber, Jeff Kent, Jason Kidd, Doug Christie, Jeff Horneck, and anybody else who makes some stupid motion at the foul line. Shammond Williams, Antawn Jamison, Vince Carter, Joseph fucking Forte, fill in any ex-tarheel here. Jeff Gordon, Tony Stewart. Frank Thomas, Eric Lindros, Brett Hull, Yzerman, any Detroit Redwing. Carl Lewis, Donovan Baily. All people who play poker on tv and the majority of professional bowlers. Larry Johnson. Boris Becker. That guy throwing the football in the Levitra commercial, I hope you wife leaves you. I got a lot of hate to go around.
posted by corpse at 11:40 AM on April 09, 2004
I'll send up a nod for Gary Sheffield. The arrogance this guy struts around with is astonishing. Talented, sure, but I still loathe the guy. Aaron Boone was it for me last year. One home run does not an excellent ballplayer make. All of a sudden, everyone in town was praising Boone to the high heavens when a month before he wasn't even a blip on anyone's radar, and rightly so.
posted by evixir at 11:49 AM on April 09, 2004
American Football: • Any member of the Ravens, but especially Ray Lewis. • Any member of the Oakland/LA/Oakland Raiders, but especially Warren Sapp (and Al Davis even if he isn't a player). • Terrell Owens Major League Baseball: • Any member of the Yankees, but mostly because of George Steinbrenner. • Sammy Sosa. I want to like the guy, but the hop annoys the heck outta me. • Barry Bonds. I have always thought he cheated. As a Pirates fan, I remember 1) how small he used to be and 2) how much he sucks in the post season. National Hockey League: • Mario Lemeiux. And I am a Penguins fan to some extent. I don't like that he will sit out Penguins games in order to rest up for Olympic hockey. Re-retire already, Mario. • Jamir Jagr. Overrated. Nothing without Mario. National Basketball Association: • Nearly every member of the LA Lakers, but especially Shaq. Asshat extraordinaire. Plus there is nothing interesting about a guy so much bigger and stronger than the competition that all he has to do is bump the smaller guy away from the basket and stand on tip-toe to dunk. *yawn* (Aside: I grew up with NBA ref Scott Foster, who threw Shaq out of a game recently only to have Shaq whine about the refs ruining the game. Whatever, dude) • Actually there are too many NBA players to list. No wonder I don't watch or follow it ;) Football: • Ronaldino. Whiny little dive-taking, ball-hog. This is a good discussion thread. Thanks dusted.
posted by scully at 12:51 PM on April 09, 2004
Joe Randa. You know why.
posted by yerfatma at 02:19 PM on April 09, 2004
Ronaldino. Whiny little dive-taking, ball-hog. Really? I will turn a game on to see him. Otherwise Barca can leave itself at the train station.
posted by billsaysthis at 02:56 PM on April 09, 2004
I'm joining the chorus here, but Shaq's back-up-the-truck style bores me to sleep. Oh, speaking of which. Steve Francis. That fucker singlehandedly brought Vancouver basketball to its knees. To see him hogging the ball from Yao every night is video Ipecac for me. Yao deserves way better. Who else. Michael Schumacher, and anyone else who really believes they're bigger than their sport. Unless your last name is Ali, Gretzky, Nicklaus or Navratilova, you don't even get to begin that argument. And no one gets to win it. Great thread idea.
posted by chicobangs at 03:32 PM on April 09, 2004
Esa Tikkanen (was). The Devils when they really had the neutral-zone trap kicking.
posted by yerfatma at 03:34 PM on April 09, 2004
Paul Gascoigne is a fat, stupid lout.
posted by molafson at 06:41 PM on April 09, 2004
Diego Maradona, Diego Simeone, Kevin Muscat, Lothar Mateus, Lee Hendrie to name but a few. I wouldn't switch it off, but guarantee I'll be cursing.
posted by squealy at 06:43 PM on April 09, 2004
Roger Clemens, Roger Clemens, and Roger Clemens. Amen. Roger Clemens was and always will be a giant tool.
posted by justgary at 02:47 AM on April 10, 2004
Flip side, any opponents on bitter rivals you have to like and respect anyway, despite your loathing for their uni? I can't think of many, but Juan Dixon is the first to come to mind.
posted by tieguy at 09:09 AM on April 10, 2004
jeter, posada, mussina.
posted by jerseygirl at 10:01 AM on April 10, 2004
tieguy, I've always enjoyed watching Bret Favre play even though he's killed the 49ers many times.
posted by dusted at 12:07 PM on April 10, 2004
Diego Maradona I dunno, I'd pay money to laugh at that fat fool these days.
posted by dng at 12:57 PM on April 10, 2004
Pedro Martinez The NFL jerks that people listed here, like Sapp and TO. Bret Boone Sammy Sosa Pedro Martinez Anyone in a Nebraska uniform Tie Domi Claude Lemieux Pedro Martinez Roger Clemens Billy Koch (he's on my TV right now and he looks like someone I'd want to bash in the face with the bat.) To answer Tieguy, many of the rest of the Red Sox, like Schilling and Varitek.
posted by Bernreuther at 02:34 PM on April 10, 2004
My biggest one was.... Steve Webb. Played for the Islanders and only hit people when the fans chanted his name. Also - never touched the puck and therefore was never hit. A horrible hockey player (now released, thankfuly) cheered on by a bunch of know-nothing fans. It grated me to no end. I also can't stand the Red Sox and Yankees. For all the obvious reasons (money, complaining, media acting like they're the only teams out there, and that they're really, really fucking good). Oh and the Ottawa Senators. Actually I have nothing against them individually or as a team - its their fucking Leaf hating, low-self-esteem fans that piss me off.
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 04:20 PM on April 10, 2004
He's not a player but I loathe Al Davis.
posted by mick at 08:36 PM on April 10, 2004
I also hate Catalanatto on Toronto. I have no idea why.
posted by jerseygirl at 10:03 PM on April 10, 2004
I'm watching Keyshawn on ESPN right now, and man, do I want to take that third-person-referring respectless idiot and ram an arena league contract (or better yet a McDonald's fry cook gig) down his toothy, never-silent throat. The hate! The Hate! Woo!
posted by chicobangs at 11:28 AM on April 11, 2004
schilling, pedro, damon, griffey, shaq
posted by goddam at 11:18 AM on April 12, 2004
Most of mine are hockey players...Clod Lemeiux, Jeremy Roenick, Tyson Nash, Ed Belfour, Gary Suter, Peter Forsberg, Derian Hatcher (even now, on the Wings, he's a bastard), Mike Keane, Chris Pronger... As for other sports, the only player that ever got on my nerves was Scottie Pippen...mainly because I felt he was way over-rated, being that he was just a coattail-riding waste of a roster spot...
posted by MeatSaber at 11:49 AM on April 12, 2004
There's not point in hating superstars in my mind, it'll just make you crazy. So I like to latch onto the also-rans Ben Weber (Angels) - If you're saying "who?"...you'll remember him as that reliever with the insanely annoying "pump-action" delivery. Brad Fullmer (Rangers) Enrique Wilson (Yankees) (and although he doesn't play anymore) Jim Leyritz (Yankees) - I dare you to find a more annoying yet hopelessly insignificant player than Leyritz. His patented "bat-swing/twist" before entering the box was the most annoying thing ever. If anyone wants to nominate Nomar for his idiosyncracies then I'll grant you that, but they're not even close. When you're good you should get a pass on a hop or swagger or pre-game ritual. When you suck like Leyritz you should get beaned with batteries.
posted by YukonGold at 12:15 PM on April 12, 2004
Can we re-run this thread every few months? I for one would be much nicer the rest of the year. My pets would thank you all.
posted by chicobangs at 05:31 PM on April 12, 2004
Ah Yukon, I skipped Leyritz because he's gone and I didn't want to think about it. First Sox player I couldn't stand even when he was on the Sox. The fact he referred to himself as "The King" and wore cowboy boots all the time didn't help. Also: 
posted by yerfatma at 07:54 PM on April 13, 2004
posted by yerfatma at 07:55 PM on April 13, 2004
A MAO is a player who is obviously skilled because he is in the major leagues (save the T-Long jokes). He knows what he is doing, and he is often annoying because of these skills or other reasons. But just because he can get the job done, doesn't necessarily make him fun to watch. He can be annoying for a variety of reasons, either past behaviors (A.J. Pierzynski or Derek Lowe) or past success (Jorge Posada and Garret Anderson) or maybe you just can't stand the way he looks (hello, Jamie Moyer). Sometimes, certain players can annoy me as much as the pollyannic Paula Abdul does on American Idol. Then again, being on this list is in a lot of ways, an honor because it means that you're effectively frustrating opponent's fans.