12/22/24
May 02, 2003
EPL crunch time.: It's the penultimate week of the EPL, while the First Division ends this week. In the EPL, Manchester Utd looks to build an eight-point lead over defending champions Arsenal in the two-horse race for supremacy. Aston Villa, Fulham, Leeds, Bolton and West Ham are battling to avoid joining West Brom and Sunderland in the First Division next season. In the First Division, Portsmouth has secured the championship and promotion to the EPL along with bankrupt Leicester City. Sheffield United, Reading, Wolves and Nottingham Forest have secured playoff places to fight for that last EPL promotion place, and will be playing to determine who meets who in the playoff. In the SpoFi EPL Fantasy League, we're rooting for Fat Buddha to beat StarFooker.
posted by worldcup2002 to soccer at 03:06 PM - 26 comments
I think the whole of the sportsfilter community and their friends and families should concentrate very hard on ensuring a long overdue win for Sunderland.
posted by Fat Buddha at 03:32 PM on May 02, 2003
Whoops got a bit overexcited there. Sorry. wc2002, please, anyone but the the tatters otherwise known as Wloves. They and their fans are odious. They are the starfuckers of division 1. Reading are little regarded but have hit a very rich vein of form and have Blues reject Nicky Forster banging them in regularly. They have a cute kit, an astute manager and would be the nearest opposition to my house were they to go up. They would also be the least well equipped to survive, so it would be good for Blues, because competition to stay up would be less fierce, even though we will probably be in the top 6. They have a good, open attacking style and youngster Nathan Tyson is like shit off a shovel. Last year they had 2 strikers everyone raved about who haven't had a look in this season and still, in their first season up have progressed rapidly. Their coach Kevin Dillon 
is a Blues legend too, so I have to go for them. I hope the tatters get to the final, because losing that would be even more gutting for them than their famous bottle job last season. Given the rewards at stake, the division one play off final is probably the biggest game of the season, anywhere.
posted by Fat Buddha at 03:57 PM on May 02, 2003
Buddha, you vibrating twat! Couldn't you find a bigger picture?!
posted by StarFucker at 03:59 PM on May 02, 2003
In the SpoFi EPL Fantasy League, we're rooting for Fat Buddha to beat StarFooker. Who is "we" you revolting, black pudding scrote??!
posted by StarFucker at 04:08 PM on May 02, 2003
Yeah my god FB, I'm surprised you haven't heard from the pantheon on the size and quality of your ... erm, pictures. Kit analysis: Wolves = Warm yellow, black Reading = Blue, white Sheffield Utd = Red, white stripes Nottingham Forest = Very red, little white On this count, I would go with Forest for their unequivocal bold red color choice as well as their loyalty to the stripey tree logo that I remember from back in the '80s. These lads know who they are, dammit! Or it might be Wolves, because we need some yellow in the EPL. And what a swank logo they have, wolf's head and all. Sheffield United might get my vote with their Sunderland lookalike strip -- with them in the EPL, nobody would notice Sunderland was gone. Hahahaha. Reading blue is just plain weak and noncommital and will not hold up to Birmingham's deep blue or Villa's loud claret and blue in a Midlands derby. As a light blue and white stripe combo, the kit is humiliation in fabric. How they can bear to play in those colors for 40+ games is beyond me.
posted by worldcup2002 at 04:16 PM on May 02, 2003
As for you, SF: we is everybody but you. You overcooked sheep's belly!
posted by worldcup2002 at 04:17 PM on May 02, 2003
The pic was a mistake, honest! My brother did it to shame me! I may have misled you wc2002 as to the whereabouts of Reading. I am an exiled Bog Bandit, living in Wales. Reading is close because it is only about 120 miles staright down the m4 and very accessible. I am about 100 miles from Blues ground and it is actually the nearest prem ground to my house, so Reading would be like a stroll around the block. Forest I generally dislike because I had some bad experiences there back in the days when the authorities looked benignly on as assorted fools wearing scarves on their wrists set about each other. It has to be said though, Paul Hart has done brilliantly. Remember it was only last year that Blues were able to steal the footballing Dionysus that is Stern John because Forest were so skint they had to let him go at any price. They also play neat, if not exciting football. I can't see it myself. There is a Blues connection there in that Hart played for us for about 5 mins. The daft prat broke his leg very early in his debut and never played again. Sheff Utd are interesting and are just bloody minded enough to go up. I sort of liked them early in the season because I liked Warnocks fuck you attitude, but it has become wearisome as his profile has heightened. They are responsible for my first ever sacking. In about 1975 we needed to beat them at their place to stay up, on a Tuesday chuffin night. I was working in a carpet warehouse and fucked off at dinner time in order to get up there. Sacked immediately, but we won, so who cares. They have Blues and North American connections. Peshisolido used to play for us, not once but twice, is married to our chief exec and is Canadian. Nuddy played for us for a couple of years and has an unfortunate habit of losing a sister every time he signs for a new club. And Devlin went from us to them and back again. Thinking about it, if they do it they would be even more hated than us for their lumpen ways, so I might go for them. It's a bleedin interesting group.
posted by Fat Buddha at 04:47 PM on May 02, 2003
I'm sorry, it was Wolves that was the Midlands team, wasn't it? Wouldn't you love to have them in the EPL? Then, you and BigCalm would have something you agree on. And Reading is a London team, is it not? Or thereabouts? Or maybe I confuse them with Chelsea because they used to have such similar garishly-colored-hoop kits? Well, anyway, I think I'll have to go with Forest or Wolves. 
posted by worldcup2002 at 05:49 PM on May 02, 2003
Hah world cup2002 you definitely should be banned for that. Reading play in hoops like QPR, not Chelsea. Wolves are a Midlands team, yes but that is all the more reason to hate them. This country of ours is like the appalachians old chap, the nearer your neigbour, the more you hate him. Traditionally Wolves biggest rivals are the Baggies, but Blues and Albion fans generally get on ok, and Albion fans hate the Villa almost as much as us, so perhaps the reverse is true, and Big Calm is a closet tatter. The media and the lumpen proletariate like derbys but in truth I don't. The atmosphere, not just at the game, but around town is evil and form goes right out the window. It all affects the players and odd things happen, like Blues shitting on the Villa twice. So no mate, apart from hating the yammie bastards there are rational reasons for not wanting them up.
posted by Fat Buddha at 06:36 PM on May 02, 2003
Shit, I haven't used a Blues player all season and the first time I do the bugger gets sent off!
posted by Fat Buddha at 09:42 AM on May 03, 2003
Wolves? Fecking Wolves??!! No way they belong in the Premiership. Anyone but Wolves, but preferably Forest because they have a good set of supporters and a quality manager, or maybe Sheff Utd because I have yet to tire of Warnock's "Fuck you" attitude. I agree with FB, I hope the tatters get to the final then get shat on, because it'll serve them and their twat supporters right.
posted by squealy at 02:24 PM on May 03, 2003
Well, Man U have beaten Charlton 4-1 and opened up an eight-point lead on Arsenal. The Gunners must win every game now. They'll have to start by beating Leeds tomorrow. Even a draw, and Man U are the new champions. Villa and Fulham are safe. Now the last relegation place will be "fought over" by West Ham (who beat Chelsea 1-0 today), Bolton (who fought to a bad-tempered 0-0 draw with the Saints) and Leeds, who face the wrath and desperation of the defending champs Arsenal.
posted by worldcup2002 at 02:34 PM on May 03, 2003
Thank you Squealy, for finding the eloquence that had been eluding me!
posted by Fat Buddha at 03:03 PM on May 03, 2003
Good article on Wolves, although it doesn't paint the full picture, it offers clues as to why they are so universally loved.
posted by Fat Buddha at 09:15 AM on May 04, 2003
Arsenal 2 - 3 Leeds!!!!!!!!! Kewell, Harte and Viduka!!!!! Henry and Bergkamp.... Leeds will surely stay up now. Great match, i payed 16 dollars to see it and was not disappointed.
posted by StarFucker at 12:03 PM on May 04, 2003
posted by StarFucker at 12:05 PM on May 04, 2003
Arsenal well and truly blew it. Big time. SF and Worldcup, you'll be happy to know that I trace their failure to their second match with Liverpool--up 2-1 to a lineup that wasn't creating any chances worth talking about, only to have the defense collapse and allow a equalizer in the 90th minute. Ouch. And letting Bolton storm back to tie last week certainly didn't help. The only people they can blame are themselves. No excuses from me. Now, I just have to figure out what bottle of scotch to buy my Man U supporting friend.
posted by trox at 12:13 PM on May 04, 2003
I don't know why, but I derived intense pleasure from watching the suffering Arsenal fans, mind you I derived no pleasure from watching the cavorting Mancs.
posted by Fat Buddha at 12:42 PM on May 04, 2003
Funny how seeing the name 'Fat Buddha' and Mark Viduka juxtaposed raises all sorts of images. Anyway, rounding off the home campaign with a 5-1 demolition of Spurs makes up, slightly, for the shitty away performances this season. Pity I wasn't there to see it... damn. Till August, then, and hoping that Geremi's still around...
posted by etagloh at 12:59 PM on May 04, 2003
I for one will be fucking annoyed if Wolves go up. Is there a less charming team in the Nationwide? I don't think so. Bunch of twats, the lot of 'em.
posted by salmacis at 01:06 PM on May 04, 2003
oops, just posted a link about the title to the top of the pile. shoulda checked this one first. Do the Sunday games get lumped into the weekend preview thread or a Saturday review thread? I guess it is a new story deserving a new thread, my mistake if it didn't. With Leeds winning I guess it is down to Bolton vs West Ham and West Ham need to hope Bolton can't come through.
posted by gspm at 03:46 PM on May 04, 2003
West Ham will stay...unfortunately, Bolton will go down.
posted by StarFucker at 09:28 AM on May 05, 2003
Sillyfucker, how the hell do you suppose West Ham are going to beat Blues?? It ain't gonna happen dude.
posted by Fat Buddha at 10:26 AM on May 05, 2003
Have i not been correct so far? Did i not say Leeds would stay? Did you think Leeds would beat Arse-nal? I predicted they would. West Ham 2 - 0 Birmingham
posted by StarFucker at 11:20 AM on May 05, 2003
Truly, you are a funny guy!
posted by Fat Buddha at 11:44 AM on May 05, 2003
It's looking more and more like Man U. I fear sputtering Arsenal's title grip will meet an unhappy end (even a draw is useless) at Leeds. At the other end of the table, as much as I'm rooting for West Ham to stay up, I doubt they can overcome Chelsea. All will become clear this weekend. So, who do you want to come up to the EPL along with Portsmouth and Le'ster? I think Wolves. I like the name Wolves. Wolves, even though they're ranked 5th, has a goal tally second only to division champs Portsmouth, and a defensive record second only to division runners-up Le'ster. Anybody can comment on which of the four teams has the most exciting (and built for EPL success/survival) playing style? Who's got the most exciting players? Best jerseys?